Thursday, August 5, 2010

ALTERNATE: YOU IN REVERSE

Last week…
While waiting for my pitch session with a well-known NY agent…
At RWA Nationals…
I looked around the room…
That vast, poorly lit, basement area of the Dolphin.
Dozens of other women were waiting too.
I think between all the female hormones and hot flashes…
There was enough human energy…
To keep our cell phones charged for a month.
I took note of the women…
Some were giddy, chatting with others…
Some kept to themselves rehearsing…
While others were in different states of trepidation.
(me included)
I took in a deep breath to center myself…
And that’s when a vision came to me…
An alternative universe vision.
What if…
In this alternate universe…
The roles switched?
What if instead of writers waiting to pitch…
There were agents waiting to pitch authors?
In my alternate universe…
All manuscripts would be perfect…
No editing…
No revising…
No re-writes.
And in this alternate universe…
It is we authors who are sitting at the table…
With the next NY Times bestseller…
Or a Pulitzer Prize winner…
Or an Oprah nod.
And now it is we authors…
Waiting for the next round of nervous agents…
To sit in front of us and pitch.
“Don’t be nervous,” I’d say. “Just tell me your story
Tell me why you think you'd be a great agent for me
And how you're going to market my book."
Yes!
I can see their sweaty brows now!
I can hear their quivering voices!
I can feel their jittery nerves!
Boo hoo ha ha!
And then…
“All 9:30 appointments please line up now,” a woman announced.
EEEK!
My turn!
I tried to muster up some of my alternative universe 
As I walked to the table where the NY agent sat…
But alas
In that vast, poorly lit basement area of the Dolphin…
My brow began to sweat…
I could feel my voice starting to quiver…
And my nerves 
Sizzling
Like a fish in a frying pan
On fire!

Always, Em-Musing

2 comments:

Jill Kemerer said...

Wouldn't that be something? Love the way you're thinking!

reberto.alberto said...

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This is for all the writers out there who have a knack for creative writing. So, if you have what it takes to claim the winners 'prize' money, which is $100, drop us an email with your 'short story submission’ composed within a 550 word limit. The last date for submission is 10th August 2010.

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happy writing!

Cheers.
Team - Short Story Book
gift@shortstorybook.net