Friday, January 14, 2011

FLEATING MOMENTS

There were three dead bodies in bed…
And who knows how many more…
Decomposing in the hallway.
A few lines from a W.I.P.?
No…
A few fleas from W.T.H.…
(What The Hell!)
“Sweetie has fleas,” the vet said to me yesterday.
“Fleas? It’s winter,” I said, shocked.
“Do you have any other animals?”
“No, just Sweetie.”
Oh, don’t give me that ‘bad, bad owner' look.
“Is she an outside cat?”
“No…well, yes, but there’s only a cement patio out back.”
Her eyes squinted. Doubting me?
“I’ll put Frontline on her now, but there’re probably fleas in your carpeting.”
“Will I have to bomb my apartment?” I asked.
Noooooo! I don’t want to evacuate!
“No, The fleas on her now will be dead in 12 hours.”
“Phew.”
“”But it will take 3 weeks for all the generations of fleas to die.”
“Oh?”
“The new ones won’t be able to stay on her.”
“Will they hop on me? She sleeps in my bed.”
I broke out itching everywhere.
“No, you’re thinking of lice and crabs. A flea’s host is furry animals.”
“Phew.”
However, that could describe my unshaved legs at times.
“Just keep vacuuming.”
She meant that there’ll be dead flea bodies…
In my carpeting for 3 weeks.
Eeuuww!
Now I want to evacuate my apartment…
The only good news about W.T.H…
Is that my bedroom and office…
Have hardwood flooring…
Which means I won’t want to be downstairs
In my carpeted living room…
Doing butt time on the couch in front of the TV…
Surrounded by fleas...
But rather…
I’ll spend all my waking hours…
Upstairs in my office…
Doing butt time
Working on my W.I.P.

Always, Em-Musing

10 comments:

Samantha Vérant said...

Thank you very much. I'm itching now. ***scratch, scratch***

Jen Daiker said...

Wow. I hate that. I'm with Samantha, it makes me all itchy! Go away fleas *sweeps up dead fleas* shoo!

Justine Dell said...

OMGOSH! I just found out yesterday that my dog has fleas, too! And it's freaking winter! I've got no carpet, but I do have 4 other pets! ARGH!

I hate fleas!

~JD

Anne Gallagher said...

I've always had animals, therefore, have always had fleas. Once you put the Frontline on, just keep vacuuming, like every day for a week. It sucks but at least you won't have little dead bodies lying around.

T. Anne said...

Which reminds me to put flea meds on my dogs today! Plus I need some serious butt time.

Jennifer Shirk said...

Now I'm itching too!!

Elizabeth Mueller said...

I should invent this: BOL! Burst out laughing. You really made me when I reached your unshaven legs. You make me laugh!

It doesn't sound appealing, dead flea bodies piling around you. *Shiver*

Luv your writing!
Have a beautiful weekend and thanks for dropping by my blog!

~Elizabeth :)

Joanne said...

The good that comes from the bad? Happy writing (and scratching) to you ;)

Talli Roland said...

OH no! Poor Sweetie! Poor you!

Hope you both recover quickly.

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