Tuesday, August 16, 2011

CHEAT OOOOH!


I know this is going to sound crazy but…
I think I’ve discovered a body phenomenon…
That even medical science has yet to learn...
Fat talks!
Now, before you scoff…
Or call the paddy wagon…
Let me explain.
I was in the grocery store…
Feeling pretty good…
You see…
It had had an evil intestinal flu over the weekend…
But being sick wasn’t why I felt good…
It was because the flu caused me to lose two pounds!
(Trust me—that’s a mean feat.)
So there I was…
Minding my own business…
Walking down the aisles when I heard–
“Buy the Cheetos.
OK,  I was standing in front of a display…
But there was no demonstration lady…
Or anyone else but me.
So?
The voice that said, “Buy the Cheetos,”
Had to be coming from me, right?
But it wasn’t my mind that was talking…
Because my mind would have said, “No, they’ll make you fat.”
Nor was it my stomach talking…
Because my stomach would have said, “I’m not hungry.”
So it had to be my fat talking.
That dimply, hunky, bumpy fat…
Urging me…prodding me.. pleading me…
To buy the Cheetos!
And why?
Because it was mad I lost two of its pounds.
So there my fat was—seducing me...
To buy the one snack besides Fritos that I love--CHEETOS!
Well, it took all my willpower…
But I DID NOT buy those Cheetos…
I walked right past that Cheetos display…
But not before I had checked the calories per serving.
Yikes! 170 calories per 27 crackers.
I can easily down ten handfuls and still want more.
Well, there you have it. My medical discovery.
So?
Does your fat ever seduce you?
And if so, what does it want you to eat?

Always, Em-Musing
P.S. My next medical discover is going to be...
        How to make my fat shut up!

3 comments:

Jessica Bell said...

Oh yes. Ice cream. Always ice cream. And salt and vinegar chips. ;o)

Linda N.J. Szymanski said...

LOVE IT! Too Funny! I have SCREAMING FAT by the way- and I've learned to shove an Apple in its mouth! Enjoyed it!

Karen Amanda Hooper said...

Oh yes. Mine tells me to eat cake, pie, chocolate, and ice cream. And Cheetos too!