Monday, September 19, 2011

STUCK IN BOO HOO

I’m just resurfacing out of  one of my rare boo hooey times.
It happened yesterday…
When I was writing, sending more queries…
And researching the author of the book I just finished.
After a few hours though, I felt down about not being published…
Usually I can think (or dance) my way back up…
But not yesterday. It was like…
What’s it all about, Alfie? Is it just for this moment I live?
Because in reality, I’ve had many successes in my life.
So why was I stuck feeling like a failure as a writer?
And actually, I am successful a writer—a copywriter…
For print, radio, TV, video, and film…
Just not for my novels.
So I don’t know why I got stuck wallowing in that.
Anyway, these emotions sparked a dream last night…
About Mary Karr…
I just finished Lit, by her…
And if you remember, a few posts ago I mentioned…
That I LOVED her writing, just not the protagonist.
So in the dream, I’m sitting next to her at some benefit…
And I tell her what I think, (as if she’d care)
But she did. And then she encourages me.
And I think, wow, Mary Karr will endorse my book (dream on ducky)
I then go to the bathroom…
Where I encounter a clogged yucky toilet.
And why? Will someone please tell me…
What disgusting overflowing toilets mean in a dream?
But there I was, hi-stepping out of it.
I go back and continue talking with her.
And then I see loose head hair all over me…
And three long white hairs under my chin.
Whatever that means, I have no idea either.
But that was it…
I woke up feeling encouraged about my writing…
Though somewhat leery about flushing my toilet.
How about you?
Can you find success in just writing?
Or is being published the only way you'll feel successful?
And, have you ever dreamed of nasty dirty, overflowing toilets?

Always, Em-Musing

12 comments:

Kristina Knight said...

now that is one seriously weird dream!! i dreamed about church last night - not being in church but renovating a church. i don't do renovations - ever - so why i was renoing a church.... weird! Glad you're feeling better about things!

Joanne said...

I think we all go down that road every now and then, considering publication. And if writing's truly in our heart, we keep putting one word in front of the either, making our way!

Anne Gallagher said...

Nasty dirty overflowing toilets means subconsciously you're fighting all the sh*t in your life to try and get what you want.

The long white hair on your chin is a symbol for aging, and in your dream can only suggest (to me) that you feel time passing by and you're getting too old for this sh*t.

Linda Gray said...

Fascinating dream, and very encouraging, I think. You recognize (and are recognized by someone you admire) that you have what it takes to publish your book, but there's a lot of sh*t in your personal environment (or in your head space--who doesn't have some of that?) that you need to get rid of, first. This is NOT easy--you can't just flush it away, but you come up with an alternative. You walk away from it victoriously (high step out of it). You've achieved the wisdom of the crone (the white hairs). As one crone to another, it's not a bad place to be!

Em-Musing said...

Wow, thanks Anne and Linda for the analysis. I always go for the negative answer and mine for the toilet would have been that I'm not a writer, just only full of sh*t.

Natalie said...

I've been there! I don't usually dream about plugged toilets, but the rest is all familiar.

I think I'm getting more and more content with just writing. When I first started, publishing was EVERYTHING. Now, though I still want it, I don't feel like I'm in such a hurry. That's good. I think.

Michael Offutt said...

Being published is how I find success and happiness, however, I don't have to be published by the Big Six. I found a mid-size publisher that likes my work and signed with them and it has put my mind at ease quite a bit. If you don't have success with getting an agent, you may want to consider a publisher other than Random House.

Talli Roland said...

Oh, I hear you. And it doesn't end with being published? Then you start to think about sales, etc etc... it has really taught me to take joy in the actual creation, and to hang onto that.

Jennifer Shirk said...

I know exactly how you feel!! But it never ends like Talli said. Then you start to worry about sales and if you're still good enough. Ugh. Then you see people who are self-publishing doing better than those who are traditionally published. So who is to say what exactly IS successful?

Jennifer Hillier said...

Wow! I just read the dream interpretations in the comments, and that is fascinating stuff.

Our dreams tell us a lot, don't they?

Jen Daiker said...

What a weird ddream!! Yikes. I'm with Jennifer, they do tell us a lot.

I was feeling down this morning about being unpublished but by mid afternoon I realized they're just lulls, it gets better!

Samantha Vérant said...

Man, I've got nothing on the significance of toilets. Did you just watch Bridesmaids, by chance? As for success, I try not to think about it --just forge on ahead, one day at a time.