Thursday, December 8, 2011

DON'T GIVE ME THE FINGER!

Now that it’s cold and flu season…
And especially because it’s holiday time…
Everyone is in defensive and offensive mode…
To avoid getting sick…
And doing things to not spread or get germs...
Like cover your cough or sneeze…
Or don’t walk into someone else’s…
Wash your hands frequently...
And staying away from sick people.
But I think the most vital thing you can do…
Is stay away from your fingers...
Don’t scoff!  
All I'm saying is...
Do not put your fingers in your orifices…
Specifically...
DO NOT put your finger in your mouth
No matter how much steak is stuck in your teeth!
Because the last thing you touched…
Could be the door knob to the public restroom.
DO NOT put your finger in your nose
No matter how much that booger or hair is stuck.
Because the last thing you touched…
Could be the person’s hand you shook who sneezed into it.
DO NOT put your finger in your ear
No matter how much you enjoy scooping out wax…
Because the last thing you touched could be a filthy shopping cart handle.
DO NOT put your finger to your eye
No matter how much it itches or has goo…
Because the last thing you touched was…
Well? Do you even remember what you touched last?
See?
To help stay healthy…
Just don't finger yourself.
So?
What do you do to stay healthy?

Always, Em-Musing

6 comments:

Ayda Recknagel said...

Hilarious. And timely. EVERYONE at my job is sick right now.

Constance Phillips said...

Great post. And timely.

Talli Roland said...

Hehehe! This made me giggle. :)

Colleen Chen said...

Thanks for the laugh! That's good for staying healthy too.

I'm visiting because I want to hear more about the spiritual writers' retreat you're going to start in Mexico!!!! :D :D :D

Jennifer Hillier said...

Considering I've been suffering from the worst cold ever all week, I obviously did not listen to any of your advice.

Actually, I had a sick friend visit last week and I'm pretty sure I got sick because of her! Not impressed at all.

And the advice "Don't finger yourself" is just universally appropriate! :D

Stephen Page said...

Yes, leave your fingers to yourselves.