Monday, January 9, 2012

OH NURSIE, NURSIE ME

Ya know…
What I would really like to have in 2012?
A nursie.
Oh, not because I’m sick…
But because I’m sick and tired.
Of constantly putting out vitamins and supplements…
And then forgetting to take them.
Often, after I've been in my office for hours…
I’ll go into the kitchen…
And there on the counter…
Are the two small bowls of pills…
Still sitting, waiting for me to take them.
But by then…
I can’t down them all at once. My stomach couldn't handle it.
See why I need a nursie?
Just like nurses come into a patient's hospital room ...
With little cups of pills right on schedule...
She, or he, would come into my office…
When the time is right and say,
“It’s time to take your pills, Leigh.”
“But I don’t want to take those yucky things!”
“I know dear, but they’re good for you.”
“But they make me wanna puke.”
“Leigh, these pills will make you look and feel younger.”
"Look younger? Oh, all right. But can I have a cookie afterwards?”
“No dear, cookies will make you fat…
And speaking of fat…
You’ve really packed on a few pounds lately…
So I don’t want you buying anymore of those Kettle Chips.”
“But they’re just potatoes, oil and salt! And I love them!”
“If you keep eating those, you’ll be a flubba dub!
And really? How fat do you want to get?
And speaking of fat, it's time get off your fat arse…
And go do some exercises. Come on, let's go! Chop chop!”
See what I mean?
My health would be better if I had a nursie.
(And I'd look younger!)
So? How about you?
Would you like a nursie...
To remind and coax you to do and eat all things healthy?
Or am I the only lazy butt who can't get off of hers?
Or do you already have someone to nursie you?


Always, Em-Musing  

8 comments:

Sarah said...

I totally need a nursie! I, too, have bottles of vitamins in my cabinet ... and forget to take them. Every single day.

Jennifer Shirk said...

Ha! At least you remember to put your vitamins on the counter! Sometimes I can't even do that.
I'd like a personal chef too--like Oprah--to make me all kinds of healthy meals.

Em-Musing said...

Oh yeah...I want a chef too.

farawayeyes said...

Chef I'll take and someone to cleanup after me, but the nursie, you can keep. I would be annoyed to death. I too forget to take my supplements, but I don't take anything that I can't take at any time and not feel GREAT, so there ya go.

Lydia Kang said...

I'm like Sarah, I forget the bottles in my cupboards too, but I refuse to set them all out in the kitchen. It's like announcing, "Lydia is OLD!"

Alex J. Cavanaugh said...

I have a wife who prods me to take my vitamins. I guess that's the next best thing.

Matthew MacNish said...

I just want an IV drip.

Anne Gallagher said...

I don't want a nursie, I want a nanny/housekeeper/personal assistant to do all the things I don't want to do, like cook, wash the toilet, vacuum. I want someone to take care of ME!