Monday, July 9, 2012

AUTO IMMUNE

NOTES TO SELF...
While going thru Mexican police check points:
Do not laugh like a hyena…
No matter how funny your thought is…
You will look like a lunatic...
And you will be pulled over.
Don’t sing if they can’t hear the music…
You’ll look like a nut job..
And you will get pulled over.
Do not take a policia’s picture…
N0 matter how hot he looks in his uniform…
You will get pulled over.
Do not stare at a policia too long….
You’ll look guilty of something
And you will get pulled over.
Do not drive faster than a turtle…
As you go over the topes (speed bumps)….
You’ll look like you’re evading…
And you will get pulled over.
And sometimes for no reason…
You will get pulled over.
But not to worry…
The policia are polite…
They will shake your hand…
Look through your car, ask where you live…
And then you’re on your way.
Now, if you’re driving down the highway...
And are speeding and get pulled over…
Not to worry. All you have to do is smile...
Show them your car's registration...
And answer their questions.
Unfortunately, I don’t speak enough Spanish…
But I do speak the international language….
That everyone knows (and is expected here)...
I just pull out 200 pesos ($20 bucks)…
We both smile…
And we’re both on our way.
How about you?
Ever bribe a policeman? Or anyone?
Always, Em-Musing

15 comments:

Alex J. Cavanaugh said...

No, I just take the ticket and go on my way. And I'm guessing air guitar in your vehicle gets you pulled over as well.

Ayda Recknagel said...

Thanks for the tips. I'll keep them all in mind if I'm ever driving through Mexico. :)

Sarah said...

Hahaha--as I was reading this, I was wondering when you would mention the bribe thing. That seems like a relatively consistent cultural phenomenon in Mexico, among other places.

A Beer for the Shower said...

Since I don't have boobs, no, I haven't bribed a policeman into not giving me a ticket. :(

Barbara Watson said...

I accept the ticket. Fortunately, the last few times I've been pulled over, my now clean driving record gets me off with a warning. Good thing they don't keep track of warnings...

farawayeyes said...

What they don't ask to see your 'papers', they do here. Never, but never, make eye contact.

Lydia Kang said...

OMG, you're making me so nervous about going back to Mexico!

Arlee Bird said...

I have no plans of ever going back to Mexico unless things change drastically. My wife, who is Hispanic and speaks Spanish, adamantly refuses to go to Mexico (she's from Ecuador). We do like to eat at Mexican restaurants in the US though.

No, I have never tried to bribe a police officer, but I have argued my way out of tickets before with US officers. I don't think they wanted things to go to court and they knew I was right.


Lee
Tossing It Out

Super Earthling said...

This was wonderfully hilarious! Your words really painted a great visual.

I had a memorable ticketing event happen several years ago while in Tennessee (where women are supposed to be quiet and look pretty, and not be behind the wheel, apparently—LOL). I almost managed to get myself (and my husband) thrown in jail.

Linda Gray said...

Oh, this was great. Thank you for my morning laugh! I did not know that about bribing the police in Mexico. A cop in Chicago tried that on me years ago when I made an illegal left turn. I was way too green to get his meaning when he talked in circles about the cost of giving up a driver's license for processing. Had to follow him all the way to the station house, where he finally let me go without a fine, but with a head shake of disgust.

DL Hammons said...

I bribe my son all the time. Not really the same thing though. :)

Teresa Coltrin@Journaling Woman said...

Haaahaaa. I need to stay away from Mexico for a while, I think.

Teresa

Jennifer Shirk said...

Ha! No, but I've had friends who've had the same siuation with the police in Costa rica.

Shay Lacy said...

Sounds like you can't do anything fun in Mexico. Guess I'll stay in the U.S.

EvalinaMaria said...

Nope, I never bribed strangers. Though I do bribe my family once in a while...