Tuesday, July 17, 2012

THAR SHE BLOWS!

What can I say?
A girl’s gotta do, what a girl’s gotta do.
And do it, I did.
Should I have? Hmm? I’ll let you judge.
It all started at a casino in Playa del Carmen.
I went early; hardly anyone was there…
So I wandered and found a slot machine—a winning slot!
Now, if you’ve ever played a winning slot machine…
You know you don’t leave it for nada.
And this machine was paying off big time!
Unfortunately…
A woman sat down next to me—a smoker.
Ya see, my slot machine was in the smoking section…
Now mind you, I don’t mind smokers; I used to be one…
But I do mind…
When rude smokers blow their smoke in my direction…
Considering there’re other direction options.
As I waived her smoke away..
I sensed she took offense…
I heard a huff with her puff…
And from then on…
Every time she blew smoke out…
She aimed it at me.
And Lord! She was a chain smoker!
I don’t speak enough Spanish…
To have said, “Please? Can you blow away from me?
And truthfully…
She seemed delighted each time I coughed…
Because she hacked out a phlegmy cough as well.
Oh, what to do. What to do?
Stay, expose my lungs and chance missing the jackpot?
Or save my lungs and no jackpot?
Just then my guts gurgled.…
Ya see, I’m prone to be gassy…
But I—not wanting to offend others—squelch.
Oh no! The gas bubble was intensifying…
Rumbling, increasing in pressure…
Like a depth charge ready to detonate!
Just then...
The smoker targeted my face with another blast.
That’s it! I’d had enough!
I lifted a ‘cheek’. . .aimed. . . and fired back!
BWAH HAHAHAHAH!
She turned and glared…
I turned and smiled.
Oh, yeah. This was going to be a standoff to the end…
Question was…
Who would run out of ammo first?
So?
What say you?

Always, Em-Musing

P.S. I did win! Not the jackpot,
but $66,000 pesos! About $500.00 U.S. bucks.

6 comments:

Alex J. Cavanaugh said...

Depends on how many burritos you had earlier that day!

Gossip_Grl said...

I love this post and am still laughing- You go girl! Congrats on the small win too!

DL Hammons said...

Good for you! LOVE IT!!! :)

DeniseCovey _L_Aussie said...

Well done with the win even though I don't know how I would have hacked it, hahahha, sitting next to a smoke stack. Just glad Oz is smoke free inside everywhere. You soon get used to smoke-free air. D

Anne Gallagher said...

Hey congrats for the win. And congrats for the other win. Monster has a way of sneaking them out in the car that amazes me with the stink from such a little kid. Kudos to you for using it to your advantage.

Misha Gericke said...

Hahaha yeah I think she got her just desserts. Congrats on the $500. :-D