Thursday, August 30, 2012

REDRUMP REDRUMP!


In the jungle where I’ll live…
Are many cats:
Jaguars, pumas, margays…
Ocelots, and jaguarundis…
And soon…
There’ll be the biggest cat of all…
Me!
The Scardey cat.
Hi, my name is Leigh…
And I’m scared of spiders…
And now, more than ever, tarantulas.
As many of you know who’ve read previous posts…
I have a morbid fear of spiders.
But! I refuse to let fear rule me…
So I’ve decided to get help…
With my spiderphobia.
And it all started when I was a kid.
My sister used to catch spiders…
You know the kind…
The small ones the color of boogers…
She would then throw them on me.
While I flailed all over the house…
She was bent over in a fit of hilarity.
And then one night, there was a spider on my ceiling.
I screamed for my dad.
He flies in, sees the spider and—THWAP!
But he missed…
Causing the spider to fall in my bed!
We pulled the sheets and blankets off…
But couldn’t find the monster.
And then, horror of horrors…
My dad wanted me to sleep in that bed…
Telling me the spider was more scared of me…
Than I of it.
Really dad? Are you kidding me?
I know I’m only six…
But I ain’t buying that cockamamie story.
You’re supposed to be my hero.
I never trusted my dad to kill spiders after that…
And I’ve lived in fear ever since.
But how can I live happily in my jungle…
Being a afraid of tarantulas?
I’m not sure how I’ll do it…
But I WILL conquer my fear.
And just so you can see what I’m dealing with…
Check out this hairy guy I spotted…
ON ...
MY...
PROPERTY...
Yesterday…
BY...
MY...
FOOT!
*breath*
*breathe*




He is a Mexican redrump tarantula.
Where’s a therapist when you need one.

Always, Em-Musing
P.S. and just so you know, I looked at tarantula
web-sites for a half hour trying to find the name
of my tarantula. I got the chills and goose bumps
the whole time…but I survived.
*breathe*

7 comments:

Alex J. Cavanaugh said...

That's a big damn spider.
I wouldn't have bought your dad's story either.
And bonus points for using the word cockamamie!

Shay Lacy said...

I know fears too. Maybe you need to squash a few (not the tarantulas!) to feel power over spiders. I eek first, then squash. Because there never seems to be a hero around at squishing time. Good luck!

farawayeyes said...

Those are some pretty big hairy guys (spiders). Good Luck with this

L. Diane Wolfe said...

I wouldn't want him in my house. Bad enough we get those giant, furry wolf spiders running across the carpet. (Which the cats simply ignore - thanks guys.)

Barbara Watson said...

Little spiders...I'm fine with those, my mantra is, "Never kill them. They might be someone's Charlotte." But that one??? A whole different story.

mshatch said...

I completely understand your fear of spiders. Mine didn't start until I was much older and even though I know I'm way bigger than all the spiders around these parts some of them are just so darn quick! And they jump! Ack! I don't think I could live somewhere where big giant spiders were the norm.

Lubaina E. said...

Tossing it Out brought me to your blog. Well, let's invent a spider detector for all those who have a spiderphobia. This device will detect the presence of a spiders within a 5 mile radius :D

Oh and jaguarundis right ? Coming across this word for the first time.