Thursday, August 23, 2012

THE SECRET FLIGHT OF EM-MITTY


It all started with a Yahoo on my flight home yesterday…
You know the kind…
Always jabbering trying to make people laugh.
Well, I’m at the end of an exit row, he’s across from me…
And as the flight attendant...
Is explaining the responsibilities…
Of sitting in an exit row and asking if we’re all capable…
Yahoo is making jokes about if the plane crashed…
How strong he is to open the emergency door.
OK Yahoo! You’re in my radar now!
The plane no sooner hits 35,000 feet…
And Yahoo is fidgety and stands up.
Oh, no! He’s up at the front of the plane…
Talking with the flight attendants!
Hey! No one is allowed by the cockpit!
Flight attendants! Pay attention!
Don’t you know he's up to no good?
Quit giggling with him and make him sit down!
NO? OK, fine. I'll do it. 
So I turn on the ‘light'. The attendants stop talking…
One airhead attendant comes my way…
Ha ha ha! Broke up your little tête-à-tête, didn’t I?
Now Yahoo comes back to his seat.
I order a Coke…
Lord!  He still can sit still.
He’s looking around like he’s got evil on his agenda.
That’s it! I just might have to take you down myself…
Because obviously the flight attendants are clueless!
Hmm? Let’s see. What can I use as a weapon?
I know! I’ll take my Writer's Digest...
And THWAP your head with it!
Then I'll POKE your eyes out with the corner of my book!
And BLOW the foam of my Coke in your empty sockets. Yes!
Or I’ll TRIP you with my huge travel purse…
Then KARATE CHOP your Adam’s apple…
And then…
And then…
And then…
“We are now making our final approach to Cancun
Please turn off all electronics, yada yada yada.”
Whaa? I fell asleep?
Wait! I’m safe! Phew!
Guess Yahoo wasn’t a terrorist after all…
But I tell you, if he was?
I'd have taken him DOWN!
So?
Ever have any 'secret' flights of your own?
Or ever traveled with a yahoo?

Always, Em-Musing

6 comments:

Alex J. Cavanaugh said...

I want you on my next flight.

Gossip_Grl said...

Hilarious! IDK for some strange reason I pictured he was going to kirk out like John Lithgow in the Twilight Zone movie, which would have probably been more entertaining then the movie playing. :) Enjoyed reading your post.

paula contreras said...

At least you got some sleep, "EM". try sitting between someone who can't keep their legs still, and a giant curled up next to you sleeping. Agh!

M Pax said...

I can never seem to sleep on a plane.

farawayeyes said...

Been wondering where you were. Dodging storms down here and unable to keep the current long enough to blog.

Take down those Yahoos!

Adam said...

One of the reasons I don't fly