Friday, September 28, 2012

LOST COST IN TRANSLATION


All inclusives….
It’s a concept with hotels…
When the cost of the room includes everything.
And there are many 'all inclusives' here in Mexico
Too bad this concept doesn’t work with doors.
Ya see…
While building my home here in Mexico
I’ve discovered that the American concept of doors…
Doesn’t translate.
“How much is a door?” I asked my builder.
“About $64,000 pecos (approx 500 bucks), he says.
“Wow.”
“Remember, they’re all handmade and you design them.”
(handmade carpentry is one of the cool things here)
“And the wood?”
“Solid mahogany. You can make them any size you want.”
OK, that sounded better.
Until the other day.
“Where are the doorknobs?” I asked.
“Oh, they're extra."
Who would have thought to ask that?
And then there are windows…
By now I’ve learned
“Does the cost include the glass?” I ask.
“No,” he answers.
“So what am I paying for?”
“The labor to make the frame.”
What about the metal. Is it included?”
Si,” he said looking at me like I’m a loca.”
Trust me...
If I ever decided to self-pub...
I'd never attempt it here in Mexico
Because I can see it now...
“So?" I'd ask the publisher...
"I'd like 10,000 copies…
Does that include the paper and cover?”
“Si.”
“Phew, just wanted to make sure.”
And then I’d get my book back and—WTF!
“There are no words in the book,” I’d scream.”
“Words? Oh you wanted printed words? That’s extra.”
Yeah…
Some costs and concepts...
Definitely get lost in translation.

Always, Em-Musing

Thursday, September 27, 2012

HOW DO YOU LIKE WET?



It’s the rainy season now in Akumal…
Yesterday, while sitting under a palapa…
Eating an avocado & bacon omelet and mango smoothie…
The clouds opened up and poured…
The palms bowed heavy with the downpour…
The air was saturated…
I was in heaven.
Hmm?
When I lived up north…
I wasn’t fond of rain in the Midwest
It felt damp and dank and oh so sporey…
Moldy that is.
Here, the rain feels different.
Just wet and humid.
I can’t say why I feel the difference, but I do…
Or should I say dew…
Because besides relative humidity...
Given in weather reports...
Another factor is the dew point:
The point at which the air must be cooled…
In order for the air mass to become saturated.
And they’re not the same.
OK, I got that, I think.
But I also think weather reports…
Should also include a new category…
Relative Dampness:
The point where moisture and temperature combine…
To make everything feel yucky and dank.
How about you?
How do you like your wetness?
Are you affected by wetness?
And have you ever used wetness in your novels?

Always, Em-Musing


Monday, September 24, 2012

NINE to FOUR


I sat through the book reading, spellbound…
The story was middle-grade...
Not my usual genre…
But the story hooked me at the first sentence.
As the author read through the first four chapters…
I was impressed with the character development…
How she ended each chapter with a tease into the next…
The intricacy of the plot…
Her choice of words…
Even the protagonists name: Twila.
(where’d she come up with that?)
This book reading didn’t happen…
In a bookstore or a library…
But rather…
On Skype.
The author?
My 9-year-old granddaughter.
I tell you…
This girl is a born writer.
(She even wrote a screen-play…
and shot the movie, I’ve yet to see)
Proud doesn’t even begin to say how I felt…
As I listened to her talent and creativity…
Play out on each page.
What I’ve had to learn….
Seems to be innate in her.
And again….she’s only 9.
I guess from now on…
What used to be, “Grandma, tell me a story”…
Will now be, “Maddie, tell grandma a story.”

Always, Em-Musing

Monday, September 17, 2012

DIE RUN HIDE



I haven't been blogging much lately...
Due to being inundated...
With the building process of my home.
Today however, I am happy to take a breather…
And post about DIE RUN HIDE…
A just released novel…
By fellow MVRWA writer/ friend…
Patrice Kavanaugh.
Take it away Patrice.

Follow orders or die. Anika Washington knows the rules laid down by the counterterrorist agency that owns her. When she aborts a mission in order to spare a young girl, she’s given an ultimatum: take on a new mission that requires betraying her fellow operative and lover, or forfeit her own life.

After discovering that her lover, Gianni, has chosen another, Anika accepts the mission. In the aftermath, she learns that Gianni was faithful to her and she’d been tricked into thinking otherwise. The knowledge comes too late and she’s almost killed in an agency double-cross.
Now she must run—battling time, former enemies and the agency itself to stay alive and save the man she loves.


A writer of thrillers spiked with romance, PM Kavanaugh has always loved intrigue, danger and adventure, especially when observed at a safe distance from her own life. She shares her home, dreams and some of her plotting dilemmas with her clever-enough-to-be-a-spy husband and her talkative office cat, Max. 
Thanks Patrice.
DIE RUN HIDE is available at Amazon 


Always, Em-Musing

Wednesday, September 12, 2012

RESCUED!

In most novels or movies...
When the hero or heroine...
Are just about to be overwhelmed…
The 'good guy' comes to the rescue.
Well, last week my friend from Ohio...
Who happens to be a designer
Came to my rescue.
I'm at a critical stage of my house being built...
And can't afford a costly mistake.
(you can’t always trust builders to know everything)
So after many hours of planning and designing...
Off we went to stores and suppliers.
Unfortunately…
Most every place we went to...
Our experiences...
Were like an episode of I Love Lucy...
With us being Lucy and Ethel...
And trying to communicate with the store salespeople…
Went something like this:
“Hola, we’re here to look at some tile.” (or whatever)
“Lo siento. Hablo no English.”
“Ah, lo siento. Hablo Espanol un poco.”
Trust me…
Broken Spanish and hand gestures…
Do not a conversation make.
But wait!
Google Translate to the rescue!
What a fantastic program!
We muddled through a few stores…
Typing a sentence in English on their computer...
Which was then was translated to Spanish.
But still…
When it came to crunching the numbers…
Figuring pesos to dollars and meters to inches...
I had to be rescued yet again...
By my bi-lingual builder..
After all...
While Google Translate can translate words...
It doesn't know how to negotiate.
So?
Ever had the occasion to use Google Translate?
Or had to hand gesture your way through a conversation?
Or had someone rescue you?
 
Always, Em-musing

P.S. I took my friend to Tulum, and after 
MUCH convincing, she got naked and 
let Don Aurileo's hands work magic
on her sore hip.

Wednesday, September 5, 2012

WHAT HAPPENS IN TULUM...


He was 92…
I was naked…
And I let this man hurt me…
In ways no other man had.
*One hour earlier*
“People come from all over the world…
So he can massage them,” my friend Donna said.
“Besides muscles….
Manipulating ligaments and tendons is his specialty.”
That sounded great. I’ve been in pain for 3 years.
“Just so you know…
You’re going to have to take all your clothes off,”
“Are you serious?” I asked.
“Yeah.”
“Can I at least keep my underwear on?”
“Not if you want him to really help you.
But don’t worry, he’s blind.”
Just then the old man came out of the house.
He didn’t look a day over seventy-two.
“Don Aurelio, this is my friend, Leigh.”
“Muy bonita,” he said shaking my hand.
Donna whispered to me, “He said you’re a beauty.”
“I thought you said he was blind!”
“Well, mostly.”
My friend translated that I have pain in my groin…
“Tell him my doctor back in the States…
Told me it’s because of my sartorius muscle.”
Donna translated this to the old man.
He nodded and opened the door for me to go in.
Well, all I can say is…
Every massage I’ve ever had before…
Included scented candles, soft lights…
And something to cover myself with.
Here? Only bright florescent lights…
The sounds of kids playing outside, dogs barking…
And the smell of something frying a few doors away.
Don Aurelio motioned for me to undress.
I had to make a quick calculation…
Would my modesty outweigh my pain?
No.
So, off came the clothes.
With Don Aurelio standing behind me…
I awkwardly climbed up on the table…
And prayed he was more than mostly blind.
Lying there, eyes and thighs squeezed tight...
I felt movement behind my head…
I could smell something, and then…
CLAP
SLAP
“OW!” (it’s screamed the same in Spanish as in English)
His huge, gnarly hands were on me…
Thankfully he had put scented oils on them…
Otherwise he would have rubbed my skin off.
*Breath*
Remember how breathing helped with labor pains?
Forty-five minutes later…
I emerged from his house…
Greased up, groggy, and teeth still gritting.
“Well?”
“My hip feels much better.”
The old man said something in Spanish to Donna.
“He wants you to know that you’ll be sore for a few days…
And that you were really, really tight…
But your pain will go away.”
I nodded.
“He said one more session would really help.”
I nodded.
I then paid my three hundred pesos (not quite 25 bucks)
And we left Tulum.
“So? What do you think?” Donna asked.
“All I can say is…
ONLY because I feel remarkably better…
I won’t have him arrested…
For assault with a deadly weapon—his hands!”
“Are you coming again with me next week?”
“Absolutely!”
So?
How much pain would you have to be in…
To strip and lay naked for a 92-year-old man?


Always, Em-Musing

Tuesday, September 4, 2012

PROOF OF FAIRIES


Do you believe in fairies?
I do...
And I have proof they exist…
Because my good friend, Constance Phillips
Released fabulous FAIRYPROOF today1 




Book blurb:   When Monique finds out her brother, Kieran, is planning her future with the one fairy she wants nothing to do with, she seeks refuge in the human world. Now Kieran fears she will be the next victim in a string of murdered fairies and is determined to bring her home.Hiding should be a breeze. She can control any human with a flirtatious smile and an attraction spell. Until she meets Daniel Elliot, the only human who's immune to both.A year ago, Daniel's fiancĂ©e disappeared with the engagement ring, an Elliot family heirloom. He's ready to move forward with his life, but his mother's obsession with retrieving the ring makes that impossible. Then Monique walks into his office to apply for a job. Daniel and Monique can't deny their attraction, but will the reason he's Fairyproof be too much to overcome?

 
Constance Phillips lives in Ohio with her husband, two ready-to-leave-the-nest children, and four canine kids. Her perfect fantasy vacation would involve hunting Dracula across Europe with her daughter, who also digs that kind of stuff. When she's not writing about fairies, shifters, vamps, and guardian angels, she's working side-by-side with her husband in their hardwood flooring business.
Constance is actively involved in her local Romance Writers of America chapter (MVRWA).


She's having a release party on Facebook...
Facebook: (author page) http://www.facebook.com/ConstancePhillipsRomanceAuthor?ref=hl4 
Click on over and let's help her celebrate!

Always, Em-Musing

Buy links:


Constance Phillip’s links:

Goodreads: http://www.goodreads.com/author/show/6470282.Constance_Phillips