Thursday, September 19, 2013

A WHORE'S GUIDE TO...

    
    A WHORE’S GUIDE
       TO KEEPING
           A MAN
      (advise from my mother)

To set the record straight, 
my mother was not a whore…
But she did teach me to be one.

AAAAAHHHHHH!!!!
What in the hell did I just write?
This is not me!!!!
But this is what popped into my brain yesterday!!!!
From out of nowhere!!!!
And all you writers know how that happens, right?
(Please tell me you know how that happens!!!!)
And I can’t continue with this story…
BECAUSE I DON’T KNOW THE SUBJECT MATTER!!
The truth is all my mother said about keeping a man…
Was to keep his belly full.
Not the stuff for a good story.
The only explanation I have…
For the whorish ditty that popped into my head is…
It’s the rainy season here now…
It’s been raining non-stop for five weeks…
FIVE WEEKS!!!
There are no more places for water to go.
So obviously my brain is taking in water, right?
It’s water-logged!
And just so you don't think I'm totally loco...
My writer friend down here…
Also said she’s been getting weird thoughts too.
I’m just glad this story didn’t come with a voice…
Because if a voice gets into your head…
Then the story must be written.
You writer’s know this, right?
And I don't want a whore's voice in my head!!!!
So please sun!
Please come out today!
Let my brain dry out…
Let me get back to editing…
My humorous women’s fiction W.I.P.
Wait!
Hold the rain drops!
It’s coming to me now…
I think I remember why I wrote what I did.
Yesterday…
I was reading something about hooks and agents…
A line or title that would make an agent go, Whoa!
Yup, that’s it…
I was thinking of hooks…
And that’s why my mind went the way it did...
Well, um...
That would explain thinking of a hook…
But not about coming up with the subject matter.
Anyway, please don’t judge me…
After all…
I’ve got rain on the brain.
So?
How often do weird thoughts and/or voices…
Sneak into your head?
And do you know where they come from?
And...
Got any great hooks?


Always, Em-Musing

10 comments:

Alex J. Cavanaugh said...

Leigh, what have you been drinking?
Although I can see that as a story.
Maybe the sun will come out and shine some light on it!

Karen Baldwin said...

LOL! It's the rain, Alex, I swear! There is no story here.

A Beer for the Shower said...

Keep his belly full? But I'm the cook in the house. Does that make me the whore?

Laura S. said...

That is a great hook! Nice one.

Happy reading and writing! from Laura Marcella @ Wavy Lines

L. Diane Wolfe said...

Feed a man - every way possible.

That is quite the idea you have there!

farawayeyes said...

ah, life in the tropics. Some days I actually miss it. We've had no appreciable rain here in four Months.

That was a great hook, BTW.

And the way to a man's heart is through his egom

farawayeyes said...

EGO, EGO not EGOM you dumb blonde. Um... that's me, not you.

Karen Baldwin said...

LOL! With the post I wrote today, some might say I'm a dumb blonde.

Peaches Ledwidge said...

Sounds like... uhn... the beginning of a book, article....

Green Monkey said...

you need some serious light therapy! that was a grrrreat hook! :) and you made me smile! xoxo