Thursday, May 11, 2017

AFTER LIGHT

Ya’ll have seen the original Poltergeist movie, right?
The part when the little lady encourages the spirits...
Go to the light, children, go to the light!"
And I know you’ve heard stories...
About people who have had near death experiences…
Who saw an encouraging, radiant light...
And a strong desire to ‘ 'go to the light'.
Sounds amazing, and comforting, right?
Um, not so for me...
You see, I have a problem with light...
Certain kinds of light, that is...
Specifically white lights...
Like harsh white florescent bulbs...
That make you feel like you’re in a grungy workshop...
Where someone’s doing illegal stuff.
And harsh LED white Christmas lights—not merry!
And those bluish/white car headlights—blinding!
But the most annoying blazing whites lights...
Are those ugly curlicue piggytail lightbulbs
That are supposed to last forever, but don’t.
Who can live under that garish glow?
Needless to say...
I have a major hang-up with white lights...
And you might ask, what’s the big deal, right?
Well, it’s not such a big deal on earth…
Because I can avoid them as much as possible…
But what happens when say...
I…uh…leave this earthly plane...
And this happens:
Spirit: “Come to the light, Em!”
Me:     What kind of light is it?”
Spirit:  Does it matter?
Me:     Yes, actually it does...
Spirit:  Why?
Me:     If it’s too white, I don’t want to go.
Spirit:  I’ve never had anyone respond like this.
Me:     What can I say? I like candlelight, sunlight,
          moonlight, soft yellow light. But not white  
          light.
Spirit:   You must come now, there’s no place for you
          to wait while I check what kind of light it is.
Me:      You mean I have to go no matter what?
Spirit:   Well, there is an alternative...
Me:      Really? What is it?
Spirit:   You can go to the dark.
Me:      Umm, on second thought I’ll take my   
          chances and go to the light, whatever it turns 
          out to be.  
          

So?
Do you have light or lighting issues?
And do you believe in the After Light?

Always,

Em-Musing

Friday, May 5, 2017

HEAD RUSH

The other day for a blog hop...
The question was asked...
What is the weirdest research you’ve ever done?
And as a writer, I can attest that yes...
I have uncovered some weird, awful, and sometimes sad stuff.
Like this one time...
I was researching human trafficking of teens (so very sad)...
For a screenplay I was working on...
When WHOOP!
A porn site pops up on my screen...
Then more popped up, and more, and more!
Thinking a virus infected my computer...
I immediately shut it down.
I guess I’ve seen too many movies and TV shows...
Because the next thing I knew...
This scenario popped up in my head...
I'm back working at my computer...
When out of the blue...
A swat team breaks down my door...
Rushes in...
Grabs my computer...
Drags me away...
All the while telling me I’m the lowest crud on earth! 
I shook my head smiling, realizing I was overreacting.
I thought my overreacting days were over...
Until recently...  
I was doing research for my W.I.P....
And wanted to see if a particular setting in my story...
Has ever been the target of terrorist activity...
When out of nowhere this scenario pops up in my head...
This time, a government agency is monitoring me...
One day, as I'm working on my computer...
My door bursts open...
And some kind of special ops squad...
Rushes in my house...
Blindfolds me and drags me away!
The next thing I know...
I’m in some kind of room...
You know the kind...
Bare concrete walls and a metal table with two chairs...
I’m sitting in one chair...
My interrogator is in the other...
While other special guys watch...
From behind a mirror that’s really a window.
“Em,” the interrogator says...
We’ve been watching you...
And your history of Google searches is disturbing...
Porn, human trafficking, terrorsts.”
“But, but—I’m a writer...
All I was doing is research. That’s all! I swear!!”
“Yeah, yeah, that’s what they all say. Not buying it.”
“Do I at least get to make a phone call?” I whimper like a wussy baby.
“Not in this scenario. Take her away”
So?
Ever research something edgy?
Ever wonder if someone’s watching?
Ever have weird scenarios pop up in your head?

Always,

Em-Musing

Wednesday, May 3, 2017

OH, MURSI, MURSI ME


This post is part of the monthly blog hop/therapy session known as the Insecure Writers Support Group, founded by the one and only, Alex J. Cavanaugh. If you're a writer, insecure, or just supportive of writers—insecure or not—please join us. It happens the first Wednesday of each month.  I encourage everyone to visit at least a dozen new blogs and leave a comment. Your words will be appreciated.

May's IWSG Question: 
What is the weirdest/coolest thing you ever had to research for your story?


Funny that today's question has to do with weird research...
Just yesterday... 
I was looking at images on Google of women in their 30’s...
To use in Scrivener for one of my character profiles.
I'm scrolling, scrolling scrolling...
When all of a sudden...
This image of an African Mursi woman shows up.  
Obviously, not at all what I was looking for.
Curious, I hit the image to enlarge it...








   
  
                            


And then...
Another Mursi woman with lip plates shows up...
And this one sporting a thingamajig on her head.
OY!






 I continued scrolling when... 
WHOA!!!
This image of tribal men from New Guinea...
With gourds covering their thingies pops up. 
I was curious about the concept...
But more so confused...
I just couldn’t wrap my head around it...
Not that I wanted to wrap my head around any of those thingies. 
But don't ya just wonder... 
How do they go to the bathroom?
How does the gourd stay on?
Do any guys have gourd envy?
What happens if they get excited?
Do the gourds ever get stuck or caught on something? Owie!

 
And do women brag?  
"My guy’s gourd is longer than your guy’s     
gourd haha haha."










And look...
There’re even stores that sell these gourds.
Hmm?
Can the guys try them on for size?
Or...
Are they one size fits all?
And here's a thought...
It'd make an interesting gift for the guy who has everything...
Bet he doesn't have one of these. 




So there I was, contemplating these poking questions when...
“Em!”
“Huh! Who’s that?”
“Your muse!
How much time are you going to waste...
Looking at Mursi women with thingamajigs, and penis gourds?
"Well...um...er...uh...
“Get back to work!”
“Yes, ma’am.”
And I did...
Well, needless to say... 
I didn't use any of these images for my Scrivener profiles...
And I gotta tell ya...
I’ll never look at a gourd the same way again.
So? 
Ever see or hear about these guy-gourds?


Always,

Em-Musing