Friday, January 11, 2013


If you’ve ever traveled to another country…
You know you have to fill out a customs form…
To answer questions like…
Are you carrying pathogens, samples…
Goo gobs of money, etc,etc.
Of course I always answer, no.
Just a few days ago:
Scenario: Customs at Cancun airport.
Characters: Me and a Mexican customs agent a.k.a MCA
MCA:  Are you a salesperson?
Me:    Am I a salesperson? No! (laughs, unwisely)
MCA:  Then why do you have a dozen of these boxes?
Me:    (getting excited) They’re my Swiffers! I just moved into
         my new home. I need these to clean. And if my 
         house isn’t clean, I can’t concentrate and write. 
         You see, I’m a writer.
MCA:  Why don’t you buy them here in Mexico?
Me:    I can’t get Swiffers in Mexico. I tried everywhere.
MCA:  Why don’t you just use a broom or mop like 
         Mexican women?
Me:    (getting more excited)  Because nothing cleans a 
        floor better than Swiffers.
MCA:  (looking at me like I’m a nut) And these bottle and cans?
Me:    Oh, that’s Old English and my stainless steel 
MCA:  Are you sure you’re not a salesperson?
Me:    No, really! I’m Swedish.
MCA:  What does that have to do with it?
Me:    Next to sex, we Swedes love to clean.
MCA:  (clearly NOT amused)
Me:    (getting teary eyed realizing that was a stupid thing to say)
          You’re not going to take away my Swiffers are you?
MCA:  Glares at my stash of cleaning products then 
         waves me on.
Me:    Muchas gracias! Muchas, muchas gracias!
Phew! That was a close call. And really, please don’t think I have OCD…
It’s just that a girl has to clean how a girl likes to clean so she can write. Right?
And what about you?
How right does your world have to be to write?
If you moved to another country…
What product couldn’t you function without?

Always, Em-Musing


Alex J. Cavanaugh said...

That was funny!
I guess it would depend on what I couldn't get in a country as to what I would take.

L. Diane Wolfe said...

Did you tell him that you absolutely cannot live without your Swiffers???

Adam said...

swiffers really are the best

Isis Rushdan said...

After living in Germany and England, I realized I can live without quite a few things.

I would love to live in Mexico on the beach!

DL Hammons said...

So I guess having sex with the cleaning lady would be the ultimate for Swedish men? :)

Carol Kilgore said...

Another Swiffer lover! I don't know what I wouldn't want to live without. I think I'd probably find some new product in my new location that would become a can't-live-without-it product, too, that I would later miss.

Gossip_Grl said...

Hilarious! Cleaning supplies the new contraband! :) I clean houses and couldn't do it w/o Swiffer sweepers and dusters! When he said broom and mop I probably would have said, what are those? :) j/k Def enjoyed reading your post.

Misha Gericke said...

Hahahaha loved this post.

I actually have no idea about what I need to write. Mmm... mmm... oh yeah. I can't draft without my fountain pen.