Monday, February 24, 2014

IT'S MERCURY'S FAULT

If writing was all we writers had to do…
How simple our lives might be…
But in today’s technological world…
We also have to deal with electronics.
Or not, as in my case.
Recently, I bought a Mac…
Having used a PC all my computer life…
I was intimidated to say the least…
Once out of the box, I set the Mac on my desk…
And stared at it for a month.
Oh, I’d turn it on and dabble at it…
But I was still using my PC for everything.
Then one day…
I figured it was time to make the ole switcheroo.
I should have looked to the heavens though…
Mercury was retrograde…
And when Mercury goes retrograde...
Electronics are more likely to go on the fritz...
Also writing, editing and publishing are tougher...
And if I was paying attention…
I’d have seen all the clues like:
My printer that wouldn't work because…
All of a sudden it needed a new IP address…
My PC….
That kept shutting itself off…
And my Internet server that kept going out.
And all this had been going on for over a week!
So there I was one morning…
Calmly sitting at my desk with my Mac…
I turned it on, Googled the Microsoft site…
Then bought and downloaded Office for Mac.
Ah hah! Now I was ready transfer my files when…
Microsoft asked me for a password.
So I put in my Microsoft password—no good.
I then put in my Apple password—no good.
After a hundred or so attempts #%^%$ I imploded! 
I couldn’t take it anymore!
So what's a writer to do?
I pulled out the Captain, as in Morgan…
Made a stiff one and swilled it down.
OMG! It was only eleven in the morning!!!
Feeling like a loser…
I layed down to meditate but instead cried like a wuss.
Just then the phone rang. It was a friend.
“What’s wrong?” she asked.
“WAA, waaa, waaaa, waaaaaaa!!!” I wailed.
“My son works on computers. He’ll be right over.”
Three hours later…
Not only did my printer have a new address…
My PC was fixed…
But all my files were successfully transferred.
Am I proud to tell this story?
Hell no, but what can I say?
I’m a writer, not an electronics expert.
And Mercury was and still is retrograde.
So tell me…
Have you ever had a meltdown over electronics?
And does Mercury retrograde affect you?

Always, Em-Musing