Monday, February 28, 2011

OH, OSCAR!

So, last night…
With my niece in visiting from LA…
(she’s the lead make-up artist on The Mentalist)
I and my family watched The Oscars at my younger daughter’s house.
After the first few acceptance speeches…
My granddaughter turned to me and asked, “Grandma?
What’s the big deal about this show anyway?”
“Well…ah–”
“It’s boring!” she declared, then off she went.
Well, Hollywood would be wise to heed her critique.
While she eventually went off to bed, I watched the entire show.
Oh, there were a few highlights, skits, and laughs…
(Billy! I miss you! Please Oscar creators, get a real M.C. next year)
But for the most part the winners…
Whether actor, director, cinematographer, etc…
Stood before millions of viewers…  
Looking awkward (don’t the practice?) as always…
Stammering, “Um, tee hee, I’m so shocked, tee hee, um.”
As they thanked long lists of faceless people.
I just have one question…
How is that all these Hollywood creative people…
Who razzle and dazzle our senses on the big screen…
Can wind up being boring in real life…
Causing me to mutter, “Hurry up, already, and get off the stage.”
I mean, if they used technology to bring in Bob Hope to stand at the podium…
Why can’t all the names of those being thanked…
Somehow be displayed behind the winners like a hologram…
So that all the winner has to do is...
Just stand there, smile, and say, “Thank you.”
And then, I and the rest of the viewing audience...
Could thank them for not making us cringe.
So? Did you watch The Oscars?
Whaddya think?


Always, Em-Musing

Friday, February 25, 2011

GET IT, GOT IT, GOOD

WARNING!
Bad writing is cropping up in your town!
“No!” my musing is urging. “It’s a no- no to rant on blogs.”
It’s OK to rant in this case because…
The copy I’m ranting about is radio copy.
More specifically—local radio copy.
As mentioned in my profile, I’m a voiceover talent…
(No, there is no hyphen in voiceover)
To do a voiceover, I first read the copy and interpret it…
I then deliver the message to an audience I picture in my mind.
That’s why doing a voiceover is sometimes called…
Voice “acting” because radio is “theater of the mind.”
I love to use my voice (20+) to act/read copy…
But what I’m confronted with in many cases (like yesterday)…
Is dull, lifeless, unimaginative—BORING—copy!
Like something a principal would read over the intercom.
Well, perhaps you’re thinking, who cares?
It’s just a stupid commercial and it’ll be over in 30 or 60 seconds. 
Well, for one, someone’s paying for this commercial. What a waste.
Two, I care. Question is, why doesn't the copywriter care?
And three, why should radio listeners be subjected to mediocrity?
in fact, no reader should be subjected to mediocrity.
That’s why when I roam the bookstores…
And finally select and buy a book with an intriguing cover and jacket copy…
I’m damn glad that particular author’s writing passed the mediocre test…
By literary agents and editors.
And that’s why when agents say they get thousands of query letters…
But only accept a few…
I get it!

Always, Em-Musing

Thursday, February 24, 2011

I CAMMED, I SAW, I CONQUERED

I need to buy a webcam…
Or a nanny cam
Or some kind of cam…
To spy on…
Me!
Yes, a writer cam, that’s what I need…
So I can see…
Just what in the hell I do all day!
Because it seems like I no sooner get up…
Make coffee, blog, write/edit, social network…
Shower and get ready for the day…
Take care of paperwork and bills...
Tidy up the apartment and do wash…
And then…
It’s time to make dinner.
Really?
Where did all the hours go?
Yes, I have my freelance voiceover jobs…
But not all day, everyday.
I don’t watch TV...
(OK, some, but not hours worth)
I don’t talk on the phone…
(OK, I do but never for too long)
I mean, cripes!
I sit in front of my computer so long…
I should have chair sores!
I know I think a lot…
But for hours?
What about you?
Are you really organized?
Or do hours drift away from you too?
And if you “writer cammed” yourself…
What would you discover?

Always, Em-Musing

Wednesday, February 23, 2011

A MUSE ZING

While I was away last week in Philadelphia
Experiencing some R&R&R&R&R&R…
(rest, relaxation, reflection, rejuvenation, refocusing, recharging)
My muse yanked my earlobe and whispered…
“Hey! While you’re doing all this “re” stuff…
Why don’t you re-do your blog photo—it stinks!”
Well! How dare she!
But then...
She wasn’t the only one who told me that…
A professional photographer did too.
The photographer? My cousin...
Who works in the photography department…
At Bucks County Community College.
“Ya know,” she said, “I love your blog, but that photo—yeesh!
“I can’t take looking at that grainy, pixilated photo anymore!
Please! Let me shoot you.”
And so she did and...
VOILA!
A new photo of me.
As for my muse…
Well, I did “re” her some…
But not too much…
Because sometimes muses must be kept in their places.
And to my cousin, Susan Kott, a big, "Thanks cuz!"
Please check out her book In the Can 
(yeah, it runs in the family)


Always, Em-Musing


Tuesday, February 22, 2011

THE HEATING GAMES

Early yesterday morning…
I started out of a sound sleep sensing…
That something was wrong, or different.
The apartment was still…
And an eerie silence pervaded indoors and out.
I don’t know about you…
But when stuff like this happens…
I automatically think I’ve died.
Actually, the electricity died because of the ice storm…
That blew in overnight taking down power lines…
No heat, no computer-time—no coffee!
By nine, I took a shower while the water in the tank was still hot…
Then by noon with still no electricity…
I ventured out to Starbucks and also to buy a roasted chicken…
But not before checking in on Harriet who announced,
“They said we may not get electric till Wednesday night.”
When I got home, the inside temp was 61.
As the hours passed, I kept busy cleaning my office…
Then the whole apartment, scrubbing, dusting, organizing…
And all the while the temperature kept plummeting…
60
58
56
54
Also daylight. But sundown was too soon for bed…
Just then Harriet called. “ There’re five inches of snow predicted.
My son came and got me. What are you going to do?”
I decided to stay. And then took action…
I put food from the now warm fridge outside in baggies…
Got in my PJ’s, a big fluffy robe, two pairs of socks…
Found two candles, and then hunkered down to read Writer’s Digest…
And the last hundred or so pages from The Hunger Games.
(yes, I know. I’m the last person on earth not to have read it)
As tenants kept driving off in search of a safe place for the night…
And the inside temperature was now 51…
I realized I was one of the last ones still here.
Hmm? What would Katniss do?
Stay and weather it out?
Or wuss out and go to a hotel or family member’s house?
I stayed, savoring a plate of salad and chicken…
And the last pages of The Hunger Games.
I then blew out the candles and crawled into bed…
Under five blankets and a down comforter…
And my cat.
For the first time ever she laid on top of me to help me stay warm.
As I drifted off to sleep, I wondered just how far the temps would fall.
And then
 5:00 A.M
Electricity!
Heat!
Coffee!
My computer!
And back from my hiatus of posting on my blog...
That as you can see is under some renovation.

Always, Em-Musing

Friday, February 11, 2011

THE REST IS STILL UNWRITTEN

After 35 years…
The last chapter ended on February 8, 2011
And the book is finally closed.
What started out as a classic romance novel…
Had many unexpected twists in plot...
And then four years ago...
When the genre changed to thriller…
The storyline had a break in time.
Now...
A new story is beginning…
And I’ll sing this Natasha Bedingfield song...
To inspire me for...
The many blank pages before me…
That are yet to be written.

Always, Em
P.S. R.I.P. Near person

Tuesday, February 8, 2011

TAKE ME AWAY

I’m in a strange place these days…
And while some might say…
Don’t be so hard on yourself…
No one would expect you to write under these circumstances…
It’s OK to take some time off…
My need to write right now is so strong…
I cannot not write.
I guess it’s cathartic…
Because writing even this blog post…
Makes me feel better.
Below are a few witticisms…
That popped into my head recently.
I know they’re weird...
But weird is how I’ve been feeling lately...
To say the least.

Life…
Has a way…
Of taking…
Focus off of you…
By making you pay attention…
To someone else’s …
Dying.

Question…
If you fart in a nursing home…
Will anyone notice?
Or care?

Blogging…
Is like masturbating…
While it doesn’t produce offspring (published novel)
It does produce instant gratification (comments on blog)


And while I may be weird...
I'm not a wallower...
I like to listen this Natasha Beddingfield's song 
That always takes me to a better place..


Always, Em-Musing

Monday, February 7, 2011

FINDING MY ROOT

What is it that makes me take that turn?
Just when I see a glimmer of success…
I do a “u-ee”…
That takes me back to my starting point.
For instanceweight loss and firming up…
Just when I see results and the scale tips back a few pounds…
And my pants are fitting better…
I sabotage myself and then I’m back to square one.
Now you’re probably saying to yourself—big deal!
What’s a few pounds?
Because I’ve spotted this behavior in my quest to get published.
A few years ago I had a great review by an editor…
Who read my whole manuscript and gave me this comment:
Your manuscript was a joy to read! It’s creative, but
oh so real. And it’s funny! I laughed out loud at times!
Women readers of most ages will empathize, especially
Boomers. I can’t wait to line edit this for you! It’s just so good!.”
She did scathe me in many areas of the manuscript…
And I revised, revised, revised.
And although I did take her first comment seriously…
I didn’t take it to heart…
Because I’m not running like a champion with the manuscript.
Whenever I hear the term, "fear of success"...
I think—are you kidding? Afraid of what?
Because Ithe picture of success in my mind is great!
What is it then?
I’ve been reading The Healing Codes
That teaches how to not only heal a suppressed immune system…
But emotions, thoughts, conscious beliefs, actions and behaviors…
That sabotage.
I’m putting those codes to work…
I'm finding the root cause that sabotages me...
Because this lady is on her way the finish line...
And I can see the glimmer now.
What about you?
Anything emotions, thoughts and behaviors standing in your way?

Always, Em-Musing

Friday, February 4, 2011

A SEE OF RED

Today...
I'm posting over at...
Maumee Valley Romance Writers of America blog...
A.K.A. MVRWA.
This is the writer's group I belong to.
After I posted and clicked "view blog"...
I was shocked to see the different format...
And color.
I also used a photo which I normally don't.
Is it just me?
Do my words and thoughts look better, more sophisticated...
On a bed of red?
Please take a look...
I'd love to know what you think.
And please feel free to leave a comment over there.
Thanks.

http://mvrwa.blogspot.com/2011/02/mark-his-words.html

Always, Em-Musing

Thursday, February 3, 2011

THANKS FROM THE BOTTOM OF MY SHOPPING CART

Yesterday...
I posted about how a snow day...
Can make me feel like a kid again.
But last night was even better...
It felt like Christmas!
Because I spent part of the evening...
Over at Amazon buying books...
Using the $100.00 gift card...
That I won from a contest...
On Tahereh Mafi's blog....
OMG!
No one has ever given me a $100.00 gift card...
Not Santa, not my kids...
No one except Tahereh.
And if you haven't visited her blog...
Here's the link....
http://stiryourtea.blogspot.com
It's awesome...
And so is she.
Thank you Tahereh.


Always, Em-Musing

Wednesday, February 2, 2011

WAITING TO EXHILARATE

Really?
This is it?
The "Storm of historic proportions!”
The “Snowmaggedon!”
That ever since Sunday…
The weathermen hyped…
As they tracked a weather pattern…
From halfway across the country.
And even my little Weatherbug icon…
Jumped and chirped for three days on the bottom of my laptop.
You would have thought the world was coming to an end.
Yeah, sure, we did get some sleet and/or freezing rain…
Yeah, sure, some snow did dump–about 6 inches…
But it’s no big whoop.
Not compared to the snow that fell on the east coast.
And darn…
I so wanted a snow day…
When the whole city shuts down…
And the newscaster tells you the city is at a level 3…
That you cannot leave your house, that you must stay off the streets.
I think it would make me feel like a kid again…
When I used to hover around the radio…
(yeah, I’m that old, don’t say anything)
Waiting to hear the announcement that school was closed…
And the exhilaration when it did…
And I got a free day...
Of no homework...
No tests...
And I got to play all day.
Earth to Em– hello? You’re an adult, you can do anything you want now.
Yeah, yeah…I know I can…
But it’s not the same feeling…
I wonder if I'll ever have that feeling again...
When I'm waiting for...
What? 
Whoa!
The city is under a level 3 snow emergency.
WOO HOOOO!
So?
What is it about a snow day that gets me so exhilarated?
Ever feel like this?


Always, Em-Musing

Tuesday, February 1, 2011

A LESSON FROM BETTY


I like to write humor…
Or at least I make an attempt at it.
I haven’t studied writing humor…
It's just how I think...
Because growing up, everything in my family…

Was fodder for a laugh.
Even now…
Nothing is more entertaining…
Than getting with my sister, cousins, or best friend…
And saying something that makes us double over and pee.
But the characters in my novels…
Can’t always be cracking up and peeing…
It would be tiresome, very annoying, not to mention, messy…
Like an overdose of whipped cream sprayed in your mouth
Though funny once in a while, not all the time.
And I don't believe it's how humor should be written.
Sunday night, Betty White won...
The Outstanding Female in a Comedy Series SAG Award...
For her role as Elka in Hot in Cleveland.
I didn’t actually see her acceptance speech when it aired…
But since have on YouTube clips…
And I was amazed at how she used humor…
Just perfectly in her sincere acceptance speech.
It worked because it was just the right amount of humor…
At just the right time.
Like a dollop of whipped cream on the tip of a strawberry.
If you haven’t seen the clip, the link is below.
I’ve also loved her rolls as Sue Ann in The Mary Tyler Moore Show…
Rose in The Golden Girls, and of course her guest appearance on SNL.
And I guess I missed this publishing news story from last summer…
That Betty White signed a two book deal with G.P. Putnam’s Sons.
Her memoir, Listen Up!  comes out this spring.
Can't wait to read it.
So?
Do you write humor? If so, how do you include it?
Or if you read humorous novels or non-fiction...
What author’s humor do you like?

Always, Em-Musing


http://www.tvsquad.com/2011/01/31/betty-white-wins-best-female-actor-in-a-comedy-series-at-the-17/