THE DIRTY AND DOWN

While thoroughly enjoying…

Cleaning my oven door yesterday morning.

I came to realize that certain words…

Should never be paired together.

You may think, why? No big deal. They’re only words.

Well, before I share what those words are…

I’ll share with you some of my past cleaning behavior:

I’ve been known to multi-task while on the pot…

Wanted to write a book...

On the many uses of used Bounty paper towels…

Anxiously waited for things to get dirty so I could clean them again…

Well, the list is endless—and so is dirt—yeah!

Anyway, while scraping the grease-caked oven slats with a knife…

I realized that cleaning people don’t really clean deep down…

Like I do…

And that’s why I never hired a cleaning person…

(OK, I did once, but as you guessed, she didn’t clean to my expectations)

And that’s why the term “anal retentive” applies to me.

So…

Playing around with the idea that I’d make a perfect cleaning lady…

(not that I’m going to pursue that)

I thought of the perfect slogan for my new company: Anal Cleaning

EEEUUWW! NOT!

But see? Those two words should never be put together.

I’m happy to share that I’m not a clean freak anymore.

Now that I’ve been living on my own, that deep down urge has gone away.

Sure, I still clean…

(And the oven cleaning only came about because the sun shone brightly)

But now I pursue things that truly satisfy me deep down…

And that is—writing.

Anything satisfy you deep down?

Always, Em-Musing

I AYE AYE

Ever read something that was so perfect…

For where you were in your life or the world?

Last week while on my working vacation in Akumal…

My muse abandoned me, gallivanting off somewhere.

I hadn’t brought a book with me because of weight restrictions…

(my luggage, not me)

I don’t yet own an e-reader…

And couldn't buy a book because they they were all in Spanish...

But, ah HA!

I found a treasure…

Buried among the stacks of books in the villa’s paperback library…

Pirate Latitudes by Michael Crichton.

It’s set in the Caribbean and about privateer, Charles Hunter…

It has all the elements needed for a great swashbuckling read…

Plus it’s historically accurate (love that).

Having done my work for the day…

I grabbed my brew (won't tell if it was beer or cafe) and...

OMG! OMG! OMG!

Just as all of his books are phenomenal…

So is this one! 

When I got home, I Googled Pirate Latitudes and learned…

That the manuscript was found after he passed away. (R.I.P Michael)…

And going to be made into a movie by Steven Spielberg…

Can’t wait! I LOVE pirate stories and...

What Spielberg does to Mr. Crichton's books (Jurassic Park).

So, tell me…

Have you ever read a book that was perfect…

For where you were in your life or the world?

Always, Em-Musing

WRITER UNPLUGGED

Last week...

Five A.M….

My muse awoke…

Ready to write…

Needed to write.

Outside…

Banana and coconut palm trees swayed…

To the breezes of the Trade Winds.

Off a short distance.…

The tide of the multii-hued turquoise sea…

Whipped up white-frothed waves…

On a shell strewn beach.

Just outside my window…

Pink and crimson bougainvillea…

Entwined on a Chiclet wood terrace.

Beneath, iguanas emerged from giant hibiscus trees…

Ready to bask in the warmth of the equinox’s rising sun.

And all around…

Birds called and swooped…

Within the dense wet jungle…

Whose scents intensified by the humidity.

I took a deep breath and I drank in my environs.

Ah, paradise, si?

No!

HELLl!

A writer’s hell!

And all because of cords!

Either misplaced or tangled cords…

To my laptop…

My cell phone…

My wireless (useless) device…

My camera…

My ITouch!

That I couldn't get in touch with…

Because I could never keep track of its cord!

Or any cord!

Why couldn't I remember where I put all of them?

But the bigger question is:

Why didn’t I put them in the same place every day?

But I swear I did…

I’m convinced the little Mayan jungle people…

Known as the alux (elves)…

Came in while I slept and moved and hid them.

So frustrating to me was keeping up with my cords…

That my brain scrambled…

And I could hardly function let alone write…

And then the battery to my laptop was—­

Nooooo! Almost out of  juice!

ARRGGHH!

All I can say is…

I’m darn thankful that my heart or brain…

Don’t need cords to function…

And I’m not responsible for keeping track of them…

Otherwise I’d be dead before I…

1)  found the cord and…

2)  found an outlet in this jungle villa room to plug into.

You see…

The second leg of my working vacation had me in…

Akumal, in a jungle villa on the Caribbean, in the Mayan Riviera…

(Yeah, I know… boo hoo, right?)

And while I didn't get homesick…

I  most definitely got outlet sick…

And very much missed…

Each and every outlet in my office back home.

I guess even in paradise…

There are sacrifices a writer has to make.

Always, Em-Musing

HAUNTED VENTURE

Hellooooooo…

I’m back from an extended, multi-leg working vacation…

And glad to be among the living…

Not that I was among the dead…

But then again perhaps I was.

You see, my first leg started a few weeks ago.

In Chicago...

Where I stayed at The Congress Hotel on Michigan Avenue…

It’s one of the ten most haunted places in Chicago.

I didn't know the hotel was haunted when I booked it...

And only learned about it when Googling for directions.

Seems the hotel was once owned by Al Capone…

Who ran his business in suite 800 for a time.

There was a suicide and who knows how many murders…

Room 666 is closed forever and no one will say why…

(666? I wouldn’t even want to stay in that room)

And Room 441 is the room has the most “sightings”.

My friend and I stayed in 470 just down the hall…

And actually, the hall itself was creepy enough.

Our room was at the very end of it…

Or at least what appeared to be the end, but not really...

Because there was a heavy metal door leading to more rooms.

Room 441 was beyond that door...

And down a dark hall where no guests were staying.

Curious, I and my friend ventured beyond.

Not wanting to have the door slam shut behind us…

And trapping us on the “dark” side…

We stuck a rumpled garbage bag in the door jam.

As we tip-toed further and further down the hall…

The Overlook Hotel from The Shining came to mind…

And I think Stephen would be proud I had the guts to go forward…

Just as Danny did on his Big Wheel towards room 237.

Creeping forward into the unknown…

I turned a corner and—AHHGGHH!

My friend screamed and took off…

And  I burst out laughing. I had played a mean trick on her.

Nothing was around that corner except the rumbling in the elevator shafts.

Fear of a real threat–security–made us abandon our little escapade...

And we left the hotel and found a pub down the street…

Although I didn't encounter any real ghosts...

My fear was real and I can recycle that emotion in my writing.

How about you?

Ever stay in a haunted place?

Do you even believe in ghosts?

Always, Em-Musing

REACH OUT AND RUSH ME

I’ve had a crush on him for years…

Hs style and swagger seducing me…

Also...

His creative mind…

His brooding tales…

His passion!

And oh, how I would love just to talk with him…

To have him tell me what inspires him.

And then just yesterday…

He wrote to me…

But I almost missed his message…

So unassuming was his approach…

It barely made an impression…

But still…

He wrote:   

      To: Em

 From: Stephen

Earth to Em!

It’s just a publicity email!

Stephen King did not write you personally!

Hello!

Well, a girl can dream, can’t she?

Obviously you can see I love Stephen King…

And it was his publicists who sent an email blast…

To...everyone in...well…cyberspace?

Anyway, he has a new book coming out…

Titled: 11/22/63

You might be surprised by it, not the usual King fare.

Does the date ring a bell?

So tell me…

Are you a fan of Stephen?

Is the synopsis of his new book…

Enticing enough for you to read it?

Always, Em-Musing

THE KING'S YEESH

I went  to see The King’s Speech last week…

Fabulous, of course!

And of course I was happy to see…

That Colin Firth won the Oscar for best actor…

And that The King’s Speech also won Oscars for:

Best picture, directing, and writing (screenplay)…

Yeah! Writing!

Now, I don’t know about you…

But when I see a movie based on a history…

I always like to do research afterwards…

To see how close the movie came to the truth.

In this case, I wasn’t  so much interested in “the king”…

As I was Edward VIII and Wallis Simpson...

Because when I was growing up

Every time “the royals” were talked about…

It was the Duke and Duchess of Windsor…

That my parents use to buzz about.

And even today, there is a mystique about them.

I just remember that his love for her seemed so intense…

I mean, giving up the throne for the one you love...

Does it get any more romantic?

And so I Googled…

Well…

I don’t know if these facts were available to the public back then…

But all I can say is...

Theirs was not the storybook romance I was anticipating…

And in this case…

Truth is not only stranger than fiction…

It’s…well…YEESH!

In particular, Jimmy Donahue with whom the couple had a relationship...

That according to details in Dancing with the Devil, by Christopher Wilson...

Makes this not a storybook romance, but rather storybook YEESH!

And for anyone curious about YEESH...

Here’s the website

Always, Em-Musing 

MASTERED MIND

Is it just because I’m a writer…

And my head is full of plots and characters…  

That causes my mind to forget things…

Like bringing my cell phone with me when I leave my apartment?

Well…

If I were drum roll please—Master of all Technology…

I could make technological things for my perfect world…

And in my perfect world I'd have a cellular head...

That way, I would never forget  my cell phone…

Because obviously I  could never forget my head….

And this cellular head would work like this…

I’d have a special pillow to sleep on…

That would charge my “head-phone” at night.

All calls would come through with a tone in my ear…

I’d yank my earlobe and—Voila!

Now I'm talking.

Or better yet…

What if I could “think” my call?

And while I’m Master of Technology…

I’ll take my technology fantasy a bit farther…

What if every time I thought I was forgetting things…

All I’d have to do is go to my local  electronic store…

And buy more gigs of memory…

Download it into a port in my head and—Voila!

And continuing on with my technology fantasy…

While my head has now evolved...

To an enlightened electronic state of mind…

Going to college would only take a few minutes…

All I'd have to do is go to my college of choice…

Pay for whatever classes I need or want…

Then download the info into that port in my brain and—Voila!

Instant knowledge, instant degree.

See how life would be much easier if I were drum roll please

Master of Technology?

So? If you were Master of Technology in your world…

What kind of fun things would you do?

Always, Em-Musing

FUTILE FERTILITY

The problem with fertile soil and a child’s brain…

Is that rogue seeds and thoughts take root…

Even though you didn’t plant them…

And when the seeds are tiny or you can’t even see them…

You can never be sure what’ll crop up…

Like what did in my eight-year-old granddaughter’s mind.

See, it started when I wanted to watch The Oscars the other night…

I, my niece from LA, and my two daughters…

Were snuggled on the couch entertaining ourselves…

By dishing on the stars—their dresses, their hair…

And even the men’s tuxes. Black on black on black—yuck!

A few minutes into The Oscars awards ceremony…

My granddaughter, who had also been watching…

Jumped up proclaiming, “It’s boring!”…

I thought that was an astute observation.

And then just last night, she had another astute observation.

While sitting next to me at the dinner table she announced,

“Grandma, I want to walk on the red carpet when I grow up.”

“Why?” I asked and surprised she even remembered that segment.

“Because then I’ll be famous like those movie stars I saw last night.”

“What made you think they were famous?”

“Because they were wearing pretty dresses …

And everyone was taking their picture.”

Well, for the next fifteen or so minutes…

The adults at the dinner table…

Kept explaining all other ways of being famous…

Including winning the Nobel Peace prize...

Or being president of the United States.

But nothing really stuck in her head like the images from the red carpet.

And now it makes me wonder…

How many images has she already seen on TV and doesn’t talk about…

Are now planted in her head…

And forming opinions about what she wants to be when she grows up?

What do you think?

How deep an influence does TV and other media have on our kids future?

Always, Em-Musing