WRITE STUFF

Found this on Absolute Water Cooler today and wanted to share.


"...there's a hormone secreted into the bloodstream of most writers that makes them hate their own work while they are doing it, or immediately after. This, coupled with the chorus of critical reaction from those privileged to take a first look, is almost enough to discourage further work entirely." --Francis Ford Coppola, "Letter to the Reader," Zoetrope magazine 

A DATE WITH A SHAKE or A SHAKE WITH A DATE

What does it mean when you hear or read an uncommon word or term…

Twice on the same day…

By different people?

Well that happened this past Sunday.

The first time was Sunday morning on Facebook.

One of  “my friends” on Facebook went to Palm Desert California…

And mentioned having a date shake.

Date shake?

OMG!

I haven’t thought about date shakes since the late ‘60’s…

When I was eighteen and went to visit my sister in California.

After commenting that I love date shakes…

Memories of my visit to California in the ‘60’s came to mind.

Love-ins at Griffith Park…

Eating refried beans for the first time at Disneyland…

Buying a turquoise ring at the Farmer’s Market in LA…

Venice Beach…

And going to the Mojave desert looking for rattlesnakes with my sister and her husband who was curator of reptiles of the LA Zoo at that time.

And while in the Mojave desert…

I had my first date shake.

Then later, Sunday night …

Sally Field and Patricia Wettig both said…

And had…

A date shake…

On an episode of BROTHERS AND SISTERS.

Isn’t that odd?

Well, I think it is.

Of course it doesn’t mean anything.

Why would it?

But I still think it’s strange none-the-less.

And it makes me really, really, really want…

A date shake.

Guess I could make one…

But eh, it wouldn't be the same as being in the desert having one.

Hmm?

Anyone besides me and NOT from California…

Ever had a date shake?

Always, Em-Musing

DOWN THE RABID HOLE

Do you ever have a day that’s so jam-packed with things to do…

And no time to do it all?

And the stress it causes overwhelms you…

Making you feel as if you’re falling down Alice's rabbit hole…

Where time is whizzing by you so fast…

That the sensation feels like you’re being sucked through a vortex…

Propelling you to the other side…

But what’s on the other side…

You’re not sure.

But you’re deathly afraid it might be–

“Em? You’re waking up now.

You’re safe.

You’re in a hospital.

The psyche unit.

I’m the doctor.

You’re coming out of hypnosis.

I hypnotized you because I needed you to see…

Just how…

When…

And why…

You went crazy.

Don’t worry, we’ll take the restraints off in a few days.”

AAHHHHHHHHH!

Always, Em-Musing

DRIVING WHILE WHIPPED

Trust me…

Talking on a cell phone…

Or texting…

Are not the most dangerous activities you can do…

While driving in a car. Or van.

At least for me.

I was babysitting my three grandchildren and needed to run some errands.

So I needed to use my daughter’s van with all the car seats.

 “Grandma. Turn the volume up.”

And I did. I thought.

“Grandma, that’s not the right button.”

“I can’t drive and look for buttons. It’s not safe.”
“Grandma, it’s the button with the red on it.”

“Honey, I told you, I can’t drive and look for red buttons.”

“Grandma, make the movie go back.”

“Movie? You’re watching a movie?”

“Yeah, mommy lets us.”

“Well, I have no idea how to do that.”

“It’s that other button, grandma.”

“I told you, I’m not looking for any buttons. It’s not safe. Why don’t you look outside at all the pretty trees?”

“Grandma, we’re hungry.”

“Oh, alright, how about McDonalds?”

“Yeah! Happy meals!”

Five minutes later…

Heading for home…

I could only use one hand on the steering wheel…

As I turned the corner…

So that centrifugal force wouldn’t-

“Grandma, your coffee drink spilled!”

My Frappé!

Whipped cream and caramel sauce all over the passenger seat!

“Grandma, my shamrock shake is leaking.”

“Why are you holding it? I told you not to drink it yet.”

“Hurry Grandma! I need napkins.”

Reaching over and digging in the McDonald’s bag, I grabbed the wad of napkins and threw it in the back seat.”

“They fell on the floor, grandma!”

“Then use your jacket!”

“Grandma! The baby is choking!”

My head whipped around in his direction as my eyes darted looking for a place to safely pull over, all the while my mind spun wondering if I would have to do the Heimlich maneuver…

On a toddler!

“He’s OK now grandma but the French fries spilled.”

“Why did he have the French fries in the first place?”

“He grabbed them from me.”

Just then a cop car pulled up next to me at the red light.

I realized I must have been driving erratically.

I looked over to him.

He looked over to me.

I nodded.

He nodded.

The light changed to green and…

He drove away.

Phew!

Safe!

At least for now.

But I then wondered…

If it's ever really safe…

(at least for me)

To drive while…

I have three grandchildren in a van.

Always, Em-Musing

PROVOKING THOUGHTS

Woke up this morning with a few thoughts.

One was for a new blog post.

Problem is I forgot it.

Did that the other night too.

Woke up several times.

And each time I thought, That’d be great to put in my blog.

Of course, I woke up and nada.

Whatever was there had flown the coup.

Of course I’ve heard to keep a pad by the bed…

So when I have thoughts or dreams I want to remember…

I can write them down.

Well, yes I could.

But wouldn’t I have to turn the light on?

And wouldn’t I have to really wake up all the way to write legibly?

And then would I be able to go back to sleep again?

I’d just like to know where these great ideas go.

What part of my brain is the keeper of these ideas?

And what are they doing in my brain anyway?

Hanging around in a brain closet?

Stored in a brain file cabinet? 

Why can’t I access them when I want to?

Are there mediums or psychics who can channel lost thoughts?

Well, I suppose that’s what hypnosis is for.

But these ideas aren’t suppressed memories…

They’re just creative tidbits, nibbles, and nuggets…

Little gems that have no bigger purpose then to be used in a blog.

I'd love to be able to access them...

On days when I struggle…

For a blog posting.

Oh, and the other thought I had…

Was on blogging in general.

Lately, I’ve been reading on other people's blogs...

About appropriate blog content, appearance, purpose, etc.

I have a few thoughts about that too.

And I’ll post them tomorrow.

That is...

If I can remember them tomorrow.

Always, Em-Musing 

RISK-TAKING BEHAVIOR

As I sat in the chair at the hair salon…

And my hairdresser was parting my hair with a comb…

It struck me that at my age…

Having my head checked for lice was the last thing I thought I’d be doing here.

“Mom, the kids were exposed to head lice,” my daughter informed me last night.

NOT what I wanted to hear after my two granddaughters had sat on my lap watching The Princess and the Frog a few nights ago.

And then in the middle of that very night…

I woke up out of a sound sleep scratching my head like a hound dog with fleas!

Lord!

Lice!

No!

Coincidently, I had a hair appointment that very next day.

“I don’t know how to ask this, but can you check me for lice?”

“SHH! Never say the word, ‘lice’ too loud at a hair salon.”

“Sorry. But my granddaughters may have given them to me.”

“Nope, you’re fine,” she finally said.

So, why was my head itching like crazy?”

“Paranoia.”

“Great! Well, not that I overreact, but great that I don’t have to shave my head.”

“There’s shampoo you would have used. No more shaving the head.”

Thank heavens!

Found out later that day, my granddaughters didn’t have lice either.

Which is great again...

For me.

Because while my grandkids are literally running, giggling germ factories…

And I can guard against getting sick by taking vitamin C…

And wearing a face mask if need be…

The thought of not hugging my grandkids…

Out of fear of some lousy bugs?

Never happen.

Some risks are worth taking.

Always, Em-Musing

GET OFF OF ME!

I was so excited the other day!

I got a new “follower” on my blog!

Actually three.

And if I didn’t thank those two new followers…

Who came in on the same day already…

Thanks for coming to visit.

But I was curious about the third visitor because they had a similar name as mine.

And so I checked their profile.

And…

It was…

Me!

Somehow I added myself as a follower on my own blog.

How dumb is that?

Although I swear I didn’t do it on purpose.

Because how arrogant, conceited, and big-headed would that be?

And now I can’t get me off.

And just two days ago...

My picture popped up there too!

How arrogant, conceited, and big-headed does that look?

Seriously…

I really don’t remember the path I used to get me on…

And I can’t find the right path to get me off.

And then after all this trying to figure how to get me off…

I noticed had really lost a follower.

Aw.

Was it something I said?

Or because I looked arrogant, conceited or big-headed?

So I'd really appreciate it…

If anyone can tell me how to…

Get me as a follower off of my own blog…

Because…

While I don’t mind being thought of as dumb…

I don’t want to come off as arrogant, conceited or big-headed.

Always, Em-Musing

HUG-EEEE!

I don’t know if there is one…

But if there is one…

I need to find out what it is…

And if there isn’t one, there should be.

I’m talking about a protocol for hugging.

Not for romantic hugs…

Don’t need a cue for that.

I’m talking about when you visit people who you know…

But don't see on a regular basis.

I went with my daughter to visit her in-laws in Cleveland yesterday.

I see them about once, maybe twice a year.

There were about nine of them yesterday.

Wonderful people, had a great time.

But when it was time to leave…

I didn’t know who to hug—again.

I had already hugged everyone who had clustered around me and my daughter when we first arrived.

Though, there were a few stragglers I hadn't hugged.

So I wonder…

How ardent should one be pursuing whom to hug when leaving if you missed them the first time around?

I hugged the host and hostess…

Then my daughter’s sisters-in-law…

One of her brothers-in-law…

Some of their children who were close by…

But now…

The afore mentioned stragglers…

Were close…

But not that close.

So?

Should I have run over to them and forced my hug?

Chased another one across the lawn?

Should I have ignored them altogether?

Should I have made eye contact and just waived?

I don’t know, but I think I committed a breach of hug etiquette.

One of my daughter's brothers-in-law…

When I approached him…

He extended his hand…

And I was caught off guard…

And my mind went blank…

And instead of shaking his hand…

I went in for the hug.

Immediately, I felt like I had breached his personal zone.

And I felt awkward.

Then there’s the time when you see a female acquaintance and give her a hug.

But now she's got her husband with her and you’re meeting him for the first time.

So, do you…

Hug him too?

Nod and smile?

Shake his hand?

See what I mean?

It’s all so confusing.

At least to me.

That's why I wish there were rules so I’d know what to do…

And not have to feel awkward.

Because heaven knows…

I feel like that most of the time anyway.

Always, Em-Musing

JUST DUCKY

I was driving on a fairly busy street yesterday…

When something struck me.

No, I wasn’t hit by another car.

There was a duck.

And no, I wasn’t struck by the duck…

The duck was crossing the street...

Causing traffic to back up on both sides for at least a half a mile.

I had to laugh.

Besides being so cute…

I immediately thought of all those, “Why did the chicken cross the road,” jokes.

I don’t know why this duck was crossing the road…

But it had determination.

And guts!

There were cars all around it…

Some honking.

Some edging up on it to get it to move faster.

But the duck seemed oblivious…

Waddling no faster than I normally see ducks waddle.

So, I’ve decided I’m going to act like that duck.

No, I’m not going to start waddling…

But I'm going to be even more determined…

On my journey to publication…

That despite all the negative honks along my path…

I’m going to be oblivious…

And fearless…

Just like that duck.

PROCEED AT YOUR OWN RISK

Cedar Point!

Rated one of the best amusement parks in the nation.

Right here in Ohio.

More roller coasters than any other.

It will be opening soon.

I haven’t been in years.

I’m afraid I'll get a heart attack or my spine will misalign.

But recently I’ve been on a thrilling ride even Cedar Point doesn’t have.

CAUTION!

The track ahead is unnerving…

With dangerous curves…

Unexpected dips and turns…

A few flips…

And at times you’ll feel like you’re free falling...

Or having a brain rush.

So if you continue…

On this ride/road to publication...

You must take precaution.

Wear your emotional seat belt…

To keep you grounded...

And a neck brace wouldn’t hurt either.

Always, Em-Musing

P.S. My 20 pages were rejected within an hour after email submitting them. It happened so fast,  

I think I sustained a whiplash.