I, ROBOT?

I’m a robot?

I’m a robot!

I must be…

Because I can’t prove I’m not.
Every attempt…

On word verification boxes…

To put in the jumbled letters…

Fails!

I used to be able to put the letters in…

But not anymore.

What does this mean?

Perhaps I’m a robot and don’t know it…

Like in sci-fi novels or movies…

When people think they’re people…

Only to find out they’re not real…

That they’re either a robot or an alien.

Hmm, I can’t remember which movies though…

Oh, wait….

Hahahahahaha!

Obviously, I’m not a robot after all…

Because if I was…

My programming wouldn’t let me forget things right?

So, phew! I’m human after all!

But seriously folks…

If you have a blog…

And use those word verification boxes…

For the sake of my sanity…

But more because I really want to leave a comment...

Would you please stop?

How about you?

Do word verifications make you crazy?

Or make feel like a robot?

Always, Em-Musing

LIAR LIAR HEART ON FIRE

I hate liars…

Unfortunately…

I might be one soon.

I’ll explain, but first let me start with this….

When you know something…

About someone’s spouse…

And you do not tell…

For fear that what you know would devastate them…

Is that lying?

I don’t think so…

Unless that is…

You’ve made a prior agreement with them…

That if you find out a dirty secret…

They would want you to tell them.

OK, for now I’m in the clear.

But what happens…

When they find out about that dirty secret…

And ask you if I knew?

Then what?

Do you tell the truth, the whole truth…

And nothing but the truth…

Knowing it’s going to devastate them?

Or do you lie?

And let’s say, for arguments sake, you lie…

To save their heart…

And then later they find out you’ve lied…

Won’t that be another betrayal?

But then, if you tell them you knew…

But chose not to tell them…

Won’t they feel like a fool?

Lord!

Why does life have to be so difficult?

What about you?

What would you do in this situation?

Say nothing?

Tell the truth?

Or lie?

And have you ever been in this situation?

How did it turn out? 
Oh...
Which one were you?
The betrayed?
Or the liar?

Always, Em-Musing

SEASON OF THINKING

They say it’s better to give than receive..

Me? I’m reconsidering.

With Christmas soon approaching…

This doesn’t just mean I have to shop…

It means I have to do more thinking…

And I have enough to think about already.

If I ask my daughters what they want for Christmas…

They always say…

“Oh, it doesn’t matter. Anything is fine.”

Really?

You may want to change that answer…

Because there’s a sale on BBs at Cabela’s…

Or shoe expanders at Overstock.com.

JUST TELL ME WHAT YOU WANT!

Kids, on the other hand…

Always know what they want…

Plus they have Santa to tell their choices to…

And all moms and dads have to do is take notes.

Easy peasy.

Grownups, on the other hand…

Always make my brain scramble…

Because I have to come up with something…

I didn’t give them last year…

Something I can afford….

And something they will really appreciate.

I think there should be a Cyber Santa…

Where adults can go and sit on Cyber Santa’s lap…

And there they can tell him what they want…

Then all we gift givers have to do is…

Check their list.

Think of it like a Santa Registry.

Then all we'd have to do is choose, buy, wrap, and give.

Easy peasy.

So…

Other than sitting there watching with anticipation…

While the gift you’ve given is being opened…

And watching the recipient break out in a big smile…

What about gift giving…

Do you think is better than receiving?

Always, Em-Musing.

BEE, ALL THAT YOU CAN BE

I was sitting by a pool yesterday…

And an ant was there by me…

Walking back and forth…

To and fro…

For what? I have no clue.

I do know that their behavior…

Means something to them…

And it’s what they’re meant to do.

Well, that got me thinking…

Wouldn’t it be nice to know from birth…

What you’re meant to do?

I mean, the ant doesn’t have to decide…

Do I want to work or be lazy today?

Should I be doing something else in life?

And the ant wasn’t even distracted…

By human feet walking by almost crushing it…

He just redirected his path and continued on.

What a concept: redirect and continue on.

I then looked at everything around me…

Trees, flowers, birds, a gecko, even a bee…

They all had purpose…

All knew from the beginning of their existence…

What their destiny was. Without question.

None had to ask, “Why am I here? What’s my purpose?”

Hmm?

How peaceful not to have to question your destiny.

So?

Are you still wondering and searching?

Have you figured out your destiny?

And if so…

What helped you come to that realization?

Always, Em-Musing

EMOTIONAL RIPPING

I love the honesty of toddler’s behavior.

They just let their emotions RRRRIIIIPPPPPPP!

And while they’re flailing around screaming in public…

You’re saying in your head…

SHADUP!!!!!

But you got to admit…

Their emotions are genuine…

And really…

Don’t you wish you could really do the same…

When you’re going through say…

A drive-thru bank line that won’t move…

And you’re stuck in the middle…

And you’re already late for something…

Don’ t you wish you could just let it rip…

“WHAT THE ‘F’ IS TAKING SO LONG?

WOULD THE IDIOT WITH A THOUSAND TRANSACTIONS JUST GO INSIDE!

Or you go to a big box store…

And all you want is to get in and get out quickly…

But you’re wandering around…

Looking for someone to answer a simple question…

Like what’s the price of the electric can opener…

And you’ve combed all thirty aisles TEN TIMES…

Don’t you wish you could just scream…

WHERE THE ‘F’ IS EVERYBODY?

CAN SOMEONE PLEASE HELP ME!!!!!

Or when you’re in say, in a Verizon store…

Needing an answer to a simple question…

About your new 'smart' phone...

And the young woman behind the counter…

Looks at you like you’re Grandma Moses…

And talks to you like you’re two without a clue..

Don’t you wish you could just scream…

LISTEN YOU LITTLE SNOT…

I WAS AROUND…

WHEN COMPUTERS FIRST CAME OUT…

I KNOW DOS! THAT’S RIGHT, DOS!

SO, DON’T CONDESCEND TO ME, MISSY!

So,

The next time you see a toddler screaming…

Be envious…

That they’re displaying their real emotions...

Because soon…

Those real emotions...
Will be spanked or punished out of them.

So?

When do you wish you…

Could just let your emotions RRIIIIPPPPPPP!

Always, Em-Musing

ZING GOES MY MOUTH

The day after Thanksgiving…

I talked with my cousin in Philly…

After the usual yada yada stuff she proclaimed…

“I’m the Queen of Turkey Picking.”

“What does that mean?” I asked.

“I can pick a turkey clean better than anyone!”

We laughed a while then hung up.

Minutes later…

I was still chuckling at her ‘Queen’ reference.

And that got me thinking….

My cousin is an accomplished photographer…

Yet she boasts the most about picking a turkey.

And that got me wondering…

While I’m an accomplished writer…

It’s not the same as being ‘Queen’ of something.

If I was ‘Queen’ of something…

What would it be?

What is it that I do that’s better than anyone?

Hmm?

I know…

Queen of Zingers!

It’s true…

I can quash someone’s ego at the flip of a quip.

I’m not proud of that, mind you, really I'm not…

It’s just that this was my family's humor...

When I was growing up in New York...
However...
It didn't play well when I moved to the Midwest...
And it definitely doesn't play well here in Mexico.
So?
Is humor regional?
You tell me...
And while you're at it...

Are you the ‘Queen’ of something?

Or king?
And if so…
What is it?

Always, Em-Musing

DON'T SAY THOSE WORDS

Last night the lights went out…

Crap!

Oh well…

I called some friends…

And we met at the marina for dinner…

With candlelight...

And the dolphins swimming just a stone's throw away...

We ate and talked for hours...

And as always…

Our conversations were...well….

Real.

So “big puh”, you’re probably saying…

Doesn’t everyone talk real?

Of course I think everyone talks real…

But my point is…

So do the characters in my novels.

And the only reason I bring this up is…

Recently, when I got comments back from an editor…

She said some of my content was gross.

Hmm?

I write in the genre of humorous women’s fiction…

Where women talk, giggle, and howl with laughter…

And many times…

Say things they wouldn’t want anyone else to hear…

Like confessions, and ‘intimate’ details…

And sometimes gross things.

So after last night’s gab fest…

When nothing we said was censored…

I’ve decided I’m not going to censer the voice of my character.

All of her thoughts feelings and conversations…

That resonate with me…

I believe readers will also relate to…

Or at the very least will get a chuckle.

But do tell me…

Do you censor your character’s comments…

For fear of insulting a reader?

Or do you stay true to the character’s nature and personality?

Always, Em-Musing

SEEING THINGS

Some things concern me…

Or make me go, huh?

Like: Ingredients on milk cartons.

Isn’t milk the ingredient?

Does there need to be more?

And there’s this notice:

Hip replacement recall

OK, I get there’s a problem with the contraption…

But how do you physically recall it?

Also recently…

I saw some things…

That never in my mind could I conjure….

Like:

Roosters on a roof…

And radishes in my soup.

OK…

Radishes in p0zole as a garnishment…

Along with lettuce, onion,cilantro and spices…

Is actually delish.

But a rooster on a roof?

(sorry, no pics)

And he wasn’t the only one I saw…

I have no idea why he was there other than...

Perhaps he was looking for the hens...

And that where hens go…

To escape…

When they’re not in the mood.

I don’t know…

What about you?

Seeing anything lately…

That strikes you strange?

Always, Em-Musing

SUCH A KID!

Published!
No, not me…

My 9-year-old granddaughter.

I’m thrilled!

She competed in a city-wide contest…

For a short story starting with…

‘It was a dark and stormy night…”

That the city paper initiated.

Many kids entered…

But out of all of those…

In her age category…

Hers was chosen.

Here it is:

It was a dark and stormy night. My dog was

hiding under the couch, whimpering and crying.

I lay in my room, not knowing what to do and very

scared.

I heard something in my closet. I opened it not

knowing what to do if a ghost popped out and

screamed “BOO!”

“Ahh!” I screamed!

It was just my sister.

“You scared me,” I said.

My parents came running up the steps.

“What was that loud scream?” my mom asked.

“I don’t know,” I said.

“I think it was just thunder,” my sister said.

And we went giggling into the next room.

Just had to share.

Great, eh?

Have a great weekend!

Always, Em-Musing

DON'T TELL, DON'T ASK

While I was back in the States…

An invader snuck into my home…

And took up residence…

In my computer.

Specifically—ASK. Com.

It didn’t tell me, nor did it ask me…

If it could come into my computer…

It just did it.

How did this happen?

And why?

My computer was off…

And unplugged.

When did this software, that I hate…

Sneak in?

Obviously when I booted up again, right?

I’ve since done an uninstall operation.

Nope, still there.

I’ve done all the other ideas I found on the Internet.

Nope, still  there.

Anyone else have an unwanted invader in your computer…

Called Ask.com?

Did you get rid of it?

Please tell me how.
And call me shameless...
But it's my birthday today...
And I'm a sucker for sentiments.

Always, Em-Musing