SCENTS AND SCENTABILITY

Clean… 

What is it a matter of?

Sight or smell?

Here in Mexico…

There’s a cleaning product called Fabuloso…

Not so fabulous to me…

Besides cleaning dirt off of stuff…

Fabulosa can remove grout…

And take the finish off of natural tile. 

(I’ve seen it happen at the condo I rented) 

This product comes in all sizes…

Even five gallon containers…

And has over twelve different scents.

Hmm?

Having smelled the fumes of Fabuloso everywhere in Mexico…

I wonder…

Is Fabuloso the Mexican idea of what clean smells like?

I know some people think the smell of moth balls is clean.

Me? Oh, yuck! Smells like granny’s closet.

For some, the smell of pine makes them feel clean…

And others, lemons, oranges, and even cucumbers.

And if you’ve ever traveled the Pennsylvania turnpike…

You know what they think clean smells like. Yuck again!

My kind of clean?

I’ve been known to sniff Murphy Oil Soap and get high.

And then I got to wondering even more…

If a clean scent is so important in our lives…

How important is a clean scent in your novels?

Have you ever used a clean scent…

As a major or minor part of a story?

And what about you?

What smell makes you feel clean?

Always, Em-Musing

CHAIR-IRRITABLE EVENT

OK…
I’m settled in my new  house. mostly…
Got my office together, somewhat…
So I seized the day, a few days ago…
And sat down to write and also send out queries.
At end of the day though…
ARRGGHH!
My back was sore…
Really sore.
Why, I wondered?
It’s the same chair I’ve always had…
Same—wait a minute…
The time I’m spending in the chair has changed.
I’m talking seven hours I spent in this chair…
And besides my back being sore…
The circulation in my legs was almost cut off…
And my butt had fallen asleep…
Please don’t ask me to explain…
How a butt can fall asleep, because I can’t. 
(and don’t ask about the sensation when it woke up) 
I then scrutinized my chair…
For heaven’s sake! The seat was mini. 

(trust me, many things are mini-sized here in Mexico) 
I never noticed the seat before…
Probably because I’ve never sat in it…
Long enough to feel pain.
So?
What’s a writer to do?
This writer bought another one and…
Ooooh! Ahhhh! Oh, yeah baby!
If you know the Dinah Washington song… 
 “What A Difference A Day Makes”…
Than you can sing along with my new lyrics.
Here goes… 
What a difference a chair makes…
Sitting hours and writing…
Now my body is delighting…
And there’s no more pain. 
So?
Ever experience a bad chair?
What lengths did you go to remedy it?
Or are you one of those writers…
Who can write anywhere under any circumstance…
In any chair?

Always, Em-Musing

WRITER'S FEET REWRITE HISTORY

I believe the wheel was not invented by caveman…

So his life would be easier...
But rather by cavewoman…

Because of her feet. 
Let me explain…
Since I’ve been here in the tropics of Mexico…
My feet have widened…
My bunions have doubled in size…
And my calluses have thickened every which way.
“Beach feet!” my friend Donna told me.
“Huh?” I said.
“From going barefoot and wearing flip flops all the time.”
“Why?”
“Shoes kept your feet in place.
Now your feet are all over the place.”
And that’s when I knew why the wheel was invented.
My theory goes like this…
When caveman made shoes for cavewoman…
Her feet looked better...
From then on she wouldn’t settle for wide, callused feet anymore…
No more going barefoot in the brambles and over rocks…

But then she didn't want her shoes to get dirty...
So she demanded the wheel to be invented…
So she could be wheeled around and not ruin her shoes.
So next time you scoff at how many shoes women need…
Remember…
If it wasn’t for women loving their shoes…
To keep their feet neat…
The wheel would never had been invented.
I think the history of the wheel needs to be edited.
So?
Anyone else experience beach feet?
Or got an addition to shoes?

Always, Em-Musing

AUTHOR IN A JAR

Ah…
A new year…
And for me…
A little reverse concept…
It’s, out with the new...
And in with the old…
Face creams that is. 

(don’t laugh) 
Each year, my New Year’s Resolution is…

To finish all jars of face cream…
Before I buy another. 
(I said don’t laugh) 
You see, I buy so many creams…

I could stock a warehouse.
Not only have I bought all these creams…
But I also bought the hype—Youth in a Bottle!
After looking at all the jars and tubes…
My brain scrambles…
Trying not to calculate how much I spent on them.
And then…
A thought popped up…
Like a middle-aged pimple…
What if I combined all the creams?
Would it create the ubberist cream of all?
Or would each cancel the other out?
I figured at least I should try before I pitch them…
You see, as a writer...
I’m on a mission to stay looking good…
For when I become a published author. 
(I said don’t laugh) 
But then...
I can’t be the only writer worried about image…
What about you?
Do you have an image of you as an author…
That you maintain?
What is it?

Always, Em-Musing

WRITING COMPANIONS

If you’ve ever traveled to another country…

You know you have to fill out a customs form…

To answer questions like…

Are you carrying pathogens, samples…

Goo gobs of money, etc,etc.

Of course I always answer, no.

Then…

Just a few days ago:

Scenario: Customs at Cancun airport.

Characters: Me and a Mexican customs agent a.k.a MCA

MCA:  Are you a salesperson?

Me:    Am I a salesperson? No! (laughs, unwisely)

MCA:  Then why do you have a dozen of these boxes?

Me:    (getting excited) They’re my Swiffers! I just moved into

         my new home. I need these to clean. And if my 

         house isn’t clean, I can’t concentrate and write. 

         You see, I’m a writer.

MCA:  Why don’t you buy them here in Mexico?

Me:    I can’t get Swiffers in Mexico. I tried everywhere.

MCA:  Why don’t you just use a broom or mop like 

         Mexican women?

Me:    (getting more excited)  Because nothing cleans a 

        floor better than Swiffers.

MCA:  (looking at me like I’m a nut) And these bottle and cans?

Me:    Oh, that’s Old English and my stainless steel 

        cleaner.

MCA:  Are you sure you’re not a salesperson?

Me:    No, really! I’m Swedish.

MCA:  What does that have to do with it?

Me:    Next to sex, we Swedes love to clean.

MCA:  (clearly NOT amused)

Me:    (getting teary eyed realizing that was a stupid thing to say)

          You’re not going to take away my Swiffers are you?

MCA:  Glares at my stash of cleaning products then 

         waves me on.

Me:    Muchas gracias! Muchas, muchas gracias!

Phew! That was a close call. And really, please don’t think I have OCD…

It’s just that a girl has to clean how a girl likes to clean so she can write. Right?

And what about you?

How right does your world have to be to write?

Or...

If you moved to another country…

What product couldn’t you function without?

Always, Em-Musing

HAPPY NEW GOALS

*cough*
*clear throat*
*take a deep breath*
and…
WRITE!
Phew…
Back from the holidays…
Getting in gear for the new year…
Got my creativity revved…
Resolutions in perspective…
Goals in line...
And I’m ready to go.
How about you?
Did you make new goals for your writing?
Were they a continuation of the same?
Or have you mapped out a new path or genre?

Always, Em-Musing
 

...THE END...

It’s now the end of my blogging this year…

Of course, I’ll be back next year…

That is..

Dun dun DUN...

If the end of the Mayan long calendar…

Really is about ending a cycle of the earth…

And it’s not the end of the world.

With my move into my new house this week…

And all that that entails…

Plus my sister coming in today…

And then my travel back to the States for Christmas…

I just don’t see me sitting long enough…

To think...

Let alone blogging and social networking.

So I wish you all Happy Holidays.

But let me ask you one last question…

If 12-21-12 does happen to be the end of the world…

Do you have any regrets so far as your writing?

And if the sun also rises on the 22^nd…

Will you make changes in 2013?

And what will they be?

Also...

Do you have plans for the 21st?

Me?

I'll be in Ek Balam, a Mayan ruin...

Watching the sun rise at 5:11.

So...

No matter what...

I'll see you on the other side in 2013...

 

Always, Em-Musing

I, ROBOT?

I’m a robot?

I’m a robot!

I must be…

Because I can’t prove I’m not.
Every attempt…

On word verification boxes…

To put in the jumbled letters…

Fails!

I used to be able to put the letters in…

But not anymore.

What does this mean?

Perhaps I’m a robot and don’t know it…

Like in sci-fi novels or movies…

When people think they’re people…

Only to find out they’re not real…

That they’re either a robot or an alien.

Hmm, I can’t remember which movies though…

Oh, wait….

Hahahahahaha!

Obviously, I’m not a robot after all…

Because if I was…

My programming wouldn’t let me forget things right?

So, phew! I’m human after all!

But seriously folks…

If you have a blog…

And use those word verification boxes…

For the sake of my sanity…

But more because I really want to leave a comment...

Would you please stop?

How about you?

Do word verifications make you crazy?

Or make feel like a robot?

Always, Em-Musing

LIAR LIAR HEART ON FIRE

I hate liars…

Unfortunately…

I might be one soon.

I’ll explain, but first let me start with this….

When you know something…

About someone’s spouse…

And you do not tell…

For fear that what you know would devastate them…

Is that lying?

I don’t think so…

Unless that is…

You’ve made a prior agreement with them…

That if you find out a dirty secret…

They would want you to tell them.

OK, for now I’m in the clear.

But what happens…

When they find out about that dirty secret…

And ask you if I knew?

Then what?

Do you tell the truth, the whole truth…

And nothing but the truth…

Knowing it’s going to devastate them?

Or do you lie?

And let’s say, for arguments sake, you lie…

To save their heart…

And then later they find out you’ve lied…

Won’t that be another betrayal?

But then, if you tell them you knew…

But chose not to tell them…

Won’t they feel like a fool?

Lord!

Why does life have to be so difficult?

What about you?

What would you do in this situation?

Say nothing?

Tell the truth?

Or lie?

And have you ever been in this situation?

How did it turn out? 
Oh...
Which one were you?
The betrayed?
Or the liar?

Always, Em-Musing

SEASON OF THINKING

They say it’s better to give than receive..

Me? I’m reconsidering.

With Christmas soon approaching…

This doesn’t just mean I have to shop…

It means I have to do more thinking…

And I have enough to think about already.

If I ask my daughters what they want for Christmas…

They always say…

“Oh, it doesn’t matter. Anything is fine.”

Really?

You may want to change that answer…

Because there’s a sale on BBs at Cabela’s…

Or shoe expanders at Overstock.com.

JUST TELL ME WHAT YOU WANT!

Kids, on the other hand…

Always know what they want…

Plus they have Santa to tell their choices to…

And all moms and dads have to do is take notes.

Easy peasy.

Grownups, on the other hand…

Always make my brain scramble…

Because I have to come up with something…

I didn’t give them last year…

Something I can afford….

And something they will really appreciate.

I think there should be a Cyber Santa…

Where adults can go and sit on Cyber Santa’s lap…

And there they can tell him what they want…

Then all we gift givers have to do is…

Check their list.

Think of it like a Santa Registry.

Then all we'd have to do is choose, buy, wrap, and give.

Easy peasy.

So…

Other than sitting there watching with anticipation…

While the gift you’ve given is being opened…

And watching the recipient break out in a big smile…

What about gift giving…

Do you think is better than receiving?

Always, Em-Musing.