Thursday, November 11, 2010

VAIN ATTEMPT

Finally, it was my turn…
I had been standing, waiting for 15 minutes…
At the BMV…
To renew my driver’s license.
I stepped up to the counter…
Handed the woman my current license…
“You sure waited till the last minute.”
“Really? It’s only 9 o’clock. Do you close early on Wednesdays?”
“No. Your license expires this Sunday.”
“Well, it wasn’t possible for me to get here sooner.”
Now, this is the part I’ve never learned to…
SHUT UP!
Why do I babble on to people I don’t know?
But babble I did.
Now, if I had stuck to the topic of the weather…
I’d have been in that “fine” zone…
Where all conversations…
Are “fine” no matter who you’re talking to.
But no, I babbled
"You see, I'm participating in NaNoWriMo
And have been writing two thousand words a day
And with all the other things I've got to do
Plus I had to dye my hair because the roots were--"
Well, her eyes started to roll in their sockets so I shut up.
After my eyes were done with the eye exam…
I sat in front of the camera for my new picture.
“OK, ready?”
“Wait, is there a mirror?”
“Right next to you.”
I stood up and finger combed my hair…
Then threw my head down and whipped it back up…
To fluff it you know, give it volume.
My make-up looked fine, but I did touch-up my lip gloss.
I then sat down and–
CLICK
“Wait! I wasn’t ready.”
And of course, my eyes were shut in the photo.
“Can I redo it.”
“OK, one, two–
CLICK
“Wait! I didn’t smile.”
“You can only have one more chance,” she harrumphed.
So I put my hand up like a traffic cop while I gained my composure…
Widened my eyes trying to make them sparkle…
Smiled, then put down my hand. “OK, ready.”
CLICK
“Yeesh! Can I–”
“No, three times is all you get. And, there’re others waiting."
I looked over to a long line of people glaring at me.
What? I thought…
Is it vain to care what I look like
In a photo that’s going to last 4 years?
Hmm?
Is it?

Always, Em-Musing

7 comments:

Constance Phillips said...

Em - Ugh. Thanks for reminding me, I have six days and counting to renew mine. I hate the picture I've been carrying for the last four years and am determined to have a better one.

Didn't know you were a fellow Scorpio. Have a happy birthday!

Jen Daiker said...

This is so cool! I have to say you never let me down when I come over... I love how you post!!!

So different!

Anne Gallagher said...

That's funny. I still have my license from when I was 18. I LOVE that picture (the best one I ever took believe it or not) and hate to part with it.

Of course, no matter how hard I try or primp, I'll never look like that again.

Elena Solodow said...

I adore your posts. Hilarious!

Janna Qualman said...

I relate. First to the conversational skills. Used to babble, think I have it under control, but now I stink at small talk. Second, why can't they understand we're stuck with this picture, and often have to whip it out for people to SEE. My current license picture was taken on a windy day. I thought my hair was great--but didn't look--and my natural curl seriously misbehaved, afro-style. Pfft.

I think you're reasonable, not vain. :)

Chris Phillips said...

I think she's owes you unlimited redos for making that jerkish "Sure waited till the last minute" comment like you don't have till the last minute.

Elizabeth Mueller said...

Rofl!Em, you always make me laugh. You know, I agree with you. That little pic will be stuck there for FOUR years. I feel you have every right to care how you look. ;)

Thanks for dropping by my blog--it's always nice to see you there! :)