Monday, March 5, 2012

CALLUS INCARNATE

Reincarnation…
I wasn’t sure if I believed in it or not…
But I now have proof.
The other day while getting a pedicure…
OK, I know you're saying. "Who cares?"
But please hear me out.
So, there my feet were soaking in the water…
The technician takes one of my feet out…
And starts scraping a huge callus, when…
“Yeeeesh!” escapes her mouth.
The universal sound for OMG! Disgusting!
A few other technicians scurry over…
And look at the pile of callus debris...
Their lips curled back in disgust.
“What do you do?” the English speaking techi asked.
“I’m a writer. I work at home.”
The techi interprets…
The four then huddled...
Whispering and shaking their heads…
And I can only imagine what they were saying…
“Writer? No! 
If she was, there’d be calluses on her fingers.”
“Ay! Looks like she plowed a field—with her feet!”
“Or ran with the bulls at Paploma—barefooted!”
They snickered then looked back at me with…
Dare I say…
A look that made me feel worse than pond scum…
I felt like—callus scum!
And that’s when I knew…
These calluses didn’t come from this life…
OK, I do go around barefoot most of the time…
But not enough to cause those mountains of dead cells
But rather my calluses are an accumulation…
From many previous lives…
When I probably did plow fields with my feet…
Or did walk across a frozen tundra barefoot.
So, can I help it if I have ugly callused feet, right.
So?
Do you believe in reincarnation?
If you don't why?
And if you do…
Do you have proof like I do?

Always, Em-Musing

11 comments:

Anne Gallagher said...

What you need is a nice oval shaped smooth stone. Maybe about a foot long, and when you're sitting on the patio after a hard day of writing you rub your feet over the stone. Instant pedicure. I did this for years at the beach and never had ugly feet until I moved down here and no more beach. No more salt water, no more smooth stones.

Talli Roland said...

Oh, I'd hate to see what they'd do if they saw my feet. Yikes!

Alex J. Cavanaugh said...

That wasn't nice! You earned those callused feet.

Joanne said...

I second Anne's thoughts on the salt water, sand and stones ... Works pedicure miracles.

Shirley Wells said...

Sorry, shouldn't laugh. I wouldn't let anyone see my feet. :)

Ayda Recknagel said...

I'm not sure I'd go back there for another pedicure. :s

Jennifer Shirk said...

"Looks like she plowed a field with her feet"-- Hilarious!

My feet are a mess too--which is why I go to get a pedicure. If your feet weren't a mess, what would be the point? LOL

Lydia Kang said...

That is WAY more of a poetic way to think about my calluses. Thank you, and I hope after that shock you enjoyed your pedi!

Tracy Jo said...

I always see us commenting on the same blogs so I had to stop by! I giggled through this because my feet are bad too. I like it and am with you on the reincarnation thing. Have a great day!

farawayeyes said...

OK, I'm not making the connection and apparently nobody else is either. Are you serious?

Carol Kilgore said...

I go barefoot, too, without benefit of salt water or a smooth rock. Sigh.