WHAT'S IN YOUR SCOPE?

There’s just something sexy…

About seeing a guy in fatigues…

With an automatic rifle…

In Wal-Mart.

OK, OK….

Perhaps being attracted …

To an assault weapon is over the top…

But there really were two Mexican marines…

With M16’s slung across their shoulders…

In line ahead of me at Wal-Mart...

And they looked hot.

What can I say?

Am I bad?

And what about you?

When it comes to the opposite (or same) sex…

What pulls your trigger?

And do any of your novels include weapons?

What kind?

Any of them sexy?

Em-Musing

P.S. There’s a marine base close to where I live.

      They patrol the waters. Makes me feel safe.

THE KILLING SIZE

Size does matter…

When it comes to what I'll kill.

Let me explain.

I don’t mind killing…

Little things…

Like eeeny weeny ants…

When they're in my cupboard...

Or even a little bit larger ants.

But as the bugs get bigger…

My conscience kicks in.

I don’t know why I think…

Killing a fly is more OK…

Than killing a big beetle or grasshopper.

And killing a beautiful butterfly…

Seems like a crime against nature.

Why? Because it's beautiful?

So is killing something ugly OK?

And I don't mind snatching a weed out...

But the thought of cutting down a tree? No.

The other day…

A tarantula wandered into my  unfinished house…

Before I discovered it…

The workers killed it…

Its body was in pieces…

Hairy legs strewn everywhere…

And, if you can believe it…

(me, who has spiderphobia)

I actually felt sorry for it.

If it had been the size of a knat…

I wouldn’t have cared.

But this tarantula was big enough to be a pet.

And now I’m wondering….

If living things are equally special…

And I’m not talking about an animal ready to kill you…

Shouldn't killing a mouse...

Feel as bad as…

Killing an elephant?

So?

When killing living things…

What size matters to you?

Always, Em-Musing

BLINDED BY THE TEETH

OK...

Here I go again.

Did you watch the V.P. debate last night?

I did…

And within minutes…

I had to run and get my sunglasses.

If you watched the debate…

You know why.

Poor Joe Biden was criticized for smiling…

But there’s nothing wrong with Joe’s smile…

It’s his teeth. Specifically the veneers.

Too white. Too bright. Too unnatural, and…

Too spooky!

And I’ve seen these spooky white teeth before…

In Hollywood…

In the mouths of stars.

I’m not against white teeth…

I’ve had mine whitened professionally…

But only to their original color.

When white teeth glow in the dark…

And glare under stage lighting…

Enough to make TV viewers squint…

I say enough dentists!

Stop making your patients look ridiculous.

And plastic surgeons? You’re also guilty…

You go too far.

In my humble opinion…

Joe has that pinched and pulled look…

Where was his adversary to say…

“OK, nip and tuck Joe, but not too much!”

There’s a Nissan commercial running on TV now…

That shows a man who…

Every time he’ attempts to do something ‘over the top’…

A car horn honks, letting him know—enough!

Hmm?

I see some job creation here—horn honkers…

They’d be in plastic surgeons and dentists offices…

And when the doc or dent suggests a procedure…

That will make the patient look ridiculous….

The horn honker honks the horn!

So?

Did you watch the debate?

Were you blinded by the dental light?
And here's the horn honking Nissan commercial for reference.

Always, Em-Musing

NAME THAT BABY, ER TUNE

I hate to admit this…

(and please don’t tell my family)

But I gave more thought…

To the character’s names in my novels…

Than to my two daughter’s names.

I know…

What kind of mother am I?

But in my defense…

I chose names after songs..

So I could sing lullabies to my babies...
That had their names in it.

And just so you don't think I'm a complete idiot...
The names (and songs) also happened to be…

Popular during the late ‘60’s early ’70’s.

What can I say? I’m not very original…

For my characters, however…

I researched ad nauseam…

To find the most fitting name…

To match their personalities…

The match the timeline of the story….

And even for the ‘meaning’ of the name.

So?

Am I alone?

Do/did you spend more time…

On your character’s names…

Than your kids?
And how do you go about...
Naming your characters?
 

Always, Em-Musing
P.S.One song is by Donavan, 
the other, The Beatles.

SEE THE OLD MAN

So? 

Have you see it?

The HBO special—Hemingway and Gellhorn?

I did.

Nicole Kidman and Clive Owen are fantastic...

As are the visual effects…

That edit both actors in actual archival film clips.

Phenomenal!

I have a confession though…

I’ve never read Hemingway…

And I’d never even heard of Gellhorn as an author.

Now I want to read both.

But no matter how much awe I’m in…

Of Hemingway as an author…

I can’t say I admire or aspire to have a life like he had.

He seemed so tortured…

Was quite a drinker…

Was married four times…

And in the movie there were all the innuendos…

About his sex life.

(I confess—I Googled to find the details. Not much.)

And later in life he committed suicide.

Sure, Papa Hemingway may be considered...

One of the greatest writers in modern history…

But I ask you…

When you’re lying cold in the grave…

Or you’re nothing but ashes on someone’s mantle…

What do you want your legacy to be?

How important is being a brilliant author in the hereafter…

If the soul is tortured in the now?

What say you?

Ever read Hemingway?

And if you could…

Would you want a life like his…

To be considered one of the best authors of modern times?

Always, Em-Musing

Q SPOT

Oooooo!

MMmmmmm!

Oh, yeah!

Deeper…..

Uh huh!

Oh, yeah, don’t stop….

It feels sooooooo good!

Yes! That’s the spot!

Yes! Yes! Yes!

Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!

What can I say?

A girl needs time alone…

With her Q-tip.

What’s that?

Oh, ha ha…

No, I wasn’t talking about ‘that’…

I’m talking about scratching an itch…

In my ear…

By wiggling around a Q-tip until…

NIRVANA!

So?

How do you scratch your itches?

Or…

How do you find nirvana?

Always, Em-Musing 
(see Friday's post for reference)

IT'S ALL IN MY HEAD

You know those outrageous headlines on the Internet…

That no matter how much time you don’t have…

You're curious enough to open the link anyway?

Yesterday…

I saw this headline:

GROSS THING LIVING INSIDE MAN’S HEAD.

Lord!

Ever since I was a kid and heard of earwigs...

I’ve been afraid of one crawling in my ear…

Not that I know where I and an earwig would be together...

But recently, I've been crazed...

Thinking something’s crawled in my head.

Why?

Besides the gigunda sized bugs here in Akumal...

There's also the tiniest, eensy weeniest, little ants here.

And they’re everywhere!

In my kitchen…

In my bathroom…

On my computer…

Even on me!

The other night in bed...

My ear itched...
And before drifting off to my usual deep sleep…

I imagined one tiny pest had crawled in my ear.

After a restless night…

I woke up with an even itchier ear, tormented...

Had a bug crawled in there? Was it still in there?

Since then…

I've been spotted…

With a hydrogen peroxide dipped Q-Tip …

Hanging out of my ear.

(lest you think I’m loco, my doc in the States recommended this)

So?

Did I check that video to see what was in the man’s head?

Hell no!

I didn't need a visual…

I’d already conjured several in my head.
So?
Are you afraid of earwigs?
Ever think something's crawled in your ear?

Ever admit to a crazy scenario?

Always Em-Musing

CRY ME A STORY

I love the American spirit.

If a hurricane hits, or a flood happens…

“We’ll rebuild!” is the American cry…

And by God, they/we do.

Since living here in Mexico…

I’ve noticed another propensity to cry…

Real tears that is.

Please know…

I’m not criticizing, merely observing.

(I love the culture here)

As I’m trying to learn Spanish…

I watch a lot of local TV…

And while I don’t understand all that I hear…

You don’t need an interpreter for tears…

Tears are a universal language all their own.

So there I’ll be, channel surfing, come to the news…

And there’s a story or situation…

Where someone is crying.

And then it dawned on me…

While every tragedy deserves tears…

U.S. news reporters do not go after the tears…

They find the bravado in survivors and victims.

And I love that!

Crying is also the main dialog…

On Spanish speaking soap operas.

Once again, I’ll be channel surfing, come upon a soap…

And sure enough, an actress is crying…

I’ll change the channel, come back a half-hour later…

The actress is still crying!

Though I shed my own share of tears...

I hate to cry, and more than that—I hate depression…

It’s why I don’t like the blues…

I don’t want to be entertained by depressing songs...

I can’t dance to the blues…

And I definitely don’t want to write or edit to the blues.

I think Steve Martin said in rIght in The Jerk…

“There’s something about those songs.

They depress me.”

So?

What about you?

Do you love the American spirit?

Got bravado?

Do you like the blues?

And if you do, please tell me why?

Always, Em-Musing

FLAG, THIS POST

Do you wonder about things…

That perhaps no one else does?

Do you see things others don't?

Is it the writer in you/me?

Or am I little off?

I wonder a lot...

So please don’t shoot me for my latest wonderment…

Which might seem irreverent…

But really, truthfully, and sincerely I’m not.

And I’m not being political either…

My blog is not for that.

But recently I've been wondering about news footage…

Specifically all the protests…

In the Middle East, and now other countries.

Of course the BIG wonder is: WHY?

And then…

I wonder about—flags.

I’m not kidding.

Where do the protesters get all the flags?

So fast?

Is there a major flag importer?

How many stores sell flags in these countries?

Back in the States and now here in Mexico…

If I wanted to burn a country's flag...

(trust me, I would never)

I don’t know if I could find flags…

From around the world so easily.

And then…

There are all those big posters and banners I see...

Especially those with photos of heads of countries.

Whenever I had a banner or poster made in the States…

It too at least a day, or two.

So how do these countries get their banners so fast?

All I’m saying is…

Some things make me wonder.

What makes you wonder?

Always, Em-Musing

SIMPLY BOMBASTIC

I’m struggling learning to speak Spanish…

Not just because of learning all the words…

And how they’re used in different scenarios…

Plus verb tenses and sentence structure…

But also the amount of words used…

Just to say something…

Or to answer a simple question.

Recently, when I was at a supplier of granite…

I wanted to know if the countertop on display…

Was made with one slab of granite or two?

Uno o dos?

However, when my builder asked the salesman…

It went something like this:

(of course I don’t know what they really were saying)

POR FAVOR.LOSIENTOELLEESMADONA.

YONOSE PORQUEELLETEINEQUESABOR

ELLEQUIERASABORACERCADELGRANITO

SIENTOMOLESTARTESEQUELAMUJERESTA

LOCASOYCONSTRUCTOR.NOPUEDOESPERER

PARAESTETRABAJOAFINHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

Cripes! How many different ways…

Were there to ask a simple question?

SOELLAQUIERASABORESELCONTATOR

HECHODEUNALOSOOODOS.LOS SIENTO

ELLEESMADONA.HAHA HAHAHAHAHA.

Perhaps they were discussing the detailed history…

Of how the granite was formed a million years ago?

Or the origin of this particular slab?

ASIQUEPORFAVORMEPERDONANELLA

TODAVIAESTAPARADOAQUI.TENGOQUE

DARSURESPUESTAALGUNAPIDODISCULPAS

PORSERPESADOSPUEDEUSSTEDMEDARAN

UNARESPUESTA?UNAVASMASMELAMENTO

MOLESTARIOSIAIDELLEQUIERASABORACERCA

DELGRANITO.

They couldn’t be talking about the installation…

Because I wasn’t even near that process yet.

TENGOQUEMIRAPARAARRIBAPODRIA

SERAUNAOPODRIANSERDOSTENDREQUE

PREGUNTARLEAMIMANAGERPEROESTA

OCUPADO.QUIERASQUELOMOLESTARA?

NONOESIMPORTANTE.

Oh, come on!

All I needed to hear was uno o dos? One or two?

I mean, how many different ways to ask and answer…

Could there possibly be?

Five minutes later my builder turned to me and said,

“They’re not sure.”

“You’ve got to be kidding me, right?”

He wasn’t.

Cripes!

Everyone knows I’m the queen of lean copy…

I write and speak short.

While I believe I will learn to speak Spanish some day...

I just don't know if I'll ever learn...

The secondary language of bombast.

Is it just me?

Or have you ever noticed some languages...

Just take longer to speak?

Always, Em-Musing