ZING GOES MY MOUTH

The day after Thanksgiving…

I talked with my cousin in Philly…

After the usual yada yada stuff she proclaimed…

“I’m the Queen of Turkey Picking.”

“What does that mean?” I asked.

“I can pick a turkey clean better than anyone!”

We laughed a while then hung up.

Minutes later…

I was still chuckling at her ‘Queen’ reference.

And that got me thinking….

My cousin is an accomplished photographer…

Yet she boasts the most about picking a turkey.

And that got me wondering…

While I’m an accomplished writer…

It’s not the same as being ‘Queen’ of something.

If I was ‘Queen’ of something…

What would it be?

What is it that I do that’s better than anyone?

Hmm?

I know…

Queen of Zingers!

It’s true…

I can quash someone’s ego at the flip of a quip.

I’m not proud of that, mind you, really I'm not…

It’s just that this was my family's humor...

When I was growing up in New York...
However...
It didn't play well when I moved to the Midwest...
And it definitely doesn't play well here in Mexico.
So?
Is humor regional?
You tell me...
And while you're at it...

Are you the ‘Queen’ of something?

Or king?
And if so…
What is it?

Always, Em-Musing

DON'T SAY THOSE WORDS

Last night the lights went out…

Crap!

Oh well…

I called some friends…

And we met at the marina for dinner…

With candlelight...

And the dolphins swimming just a stone's throw away...

We ate and talked for hours...

And as always…

Our conversations were...well….

Real.

So “big puh”, you’re probably saying…

Doesn’t everyone talk real?

Of course I think everyone talks real…

But my point is…

So do the characters in my novels.

And the only reason I bring this up is…

Recently, when I got comments back from an editor…

She said some of my content was gross.

Hmm?

I write in the genre of humorous women’s fiction…

Where women talk, giggle, and howl with laughter…

And many times…

Say things they wouldn’t want anyone else to hear…

Like confessions, and ‘intimate’ details…

And sometimes gross things.

So after last night’s gab fest…

When nothing we said was censored…

I’ve decided I’m not going to censer the voice of my character.

All of her thoughts feelings and conversations…

That resonate with me…

I believe readers will also relate to…

Or at the very least will get a chuckle.

But do tell me…

Do you censor your character’s comments…

For fear of insulting a reader?

Or do you stay true to the character’s nature and personality?

Always, Em-Musing

SEEING THINGS

Some things concern me…

Or make me go, huh?

Like: Ingredients on milk cartons.

Isn’t milk the ingredient?

Does there need to be more?

And there’s this notice:

Hip replacement recall

OK, I get there’s a problem with the contraption…

But how do you physically recall it?

Also recently…

I saw some things…

That never in my mind could I conjure….

Like:

Roosters on a roof…

And radishes in my soup.

OK…

Radishes in p0zole as a garnishment…

Along with lettuce, onion,cilantro and spices…

Is actually delish.

But a rooster on a roof?

(sorry, no pics)

And he wasn’t the only one I saw…

I have no idea why he was there other than...

Perhaps he was looking for the hens...

And that where hens go…

To escape…

When they’re not in the mood.

I don’t know…

What about you?

Seeing anything lately…

That strikes you strange?

Always, Em-Musing

SUCH A KID!

Published!
No, not me…

My 9-year-old granddaughter.

I’m thrilled!

She competed in a city-wide contest…

For a short story starting with…

‘It was a dark and stormy night…”

That the city paper initiated.

Many kids entered…

But out of all of those…

In her age category…

Hers was chosen.

Here it is:

It was a dark and stormy night. My dog was

hiding under the couch, whimpering and crying.

I lay in my room, not knowing what to do and very

scared.

I heard something in my closet. I opened it not

knowing what to do if a ghost popped out and

screamed “BOO!”

“Ahh!” I screamed!

It was just my sister.

“You scared me,” I said.

My parents came running up the steps.

“What was that loud scream?” my mom asked.

“I don’t know,” I said.

“I think it was just thunder,” my sister said.

And we went giggling into the next room.

Just had to share.

Great, eh?

Have a great weekend!

Always, Em-Musing

DON'T TELL, DON'T ASK

While I was back in the States…

An invader snuck into my home…

And took up residence…

In my computer.

Specifically—ASK. Com.

It didn’t tell me, nor did it ask me…

If it could come into my computer…

It just did it.

How did this happen?

And why?

My computer was off…

And unplugged.

When did this software, that I hate…

Sneak in?

Obviously when I booted up again, right?

I’ve since done an uninstall operation.

Nope, still there.

I’ve done all the other ideas I found on the Internet.

Nope, still  there.

Anyone else have an unwanted invader in your computer…

Called Ask.com?

Did you get rid of it?

Please tell me how.
And call me shameless...
But it's my birthday today...
And I'm a sucker for sentiments.

Always, Em-Musing

SHAY LACY - HERO NEEDED

Today…

It is my pleasure to put the spotlight on Shay Lacy…

Fellow writer of MVRWA

(Maumee Valley Romance Writers of America)

The one whose finger you’ve seen wagging on my blog…

Shaming me to write, write, write!

And the one who made me declare my submission goals…

When I was back in Ohio a few weeks back.

I’m so happy to let all my followers know…

That her book, HERO NEEDED…

Is available now for purchase on Amazon.

More about Shay can be seen on her website.

Without further adieu, here it is.

Some heroes are born and some are forged by events.

Marisa’s best friend Carolyn was killed by a train,

but then Carolyn’s husband claims she committed

suicide. Proving he’s wrong will be a heroic feat.

EMT Nick Stark seems a natural for the job.

Yet the truths Marisa and Nick uncover spark

unexpected danger. Does the secret of Marisa’s

parentage tie in with Carolyn’s death? And is Marisa

prepared to face the truth in order to identify

whoever now wants her dead?

Hope you find HERO NEEDED a must read.

Always, Em-Musing

OCULUS

Today I’m highlighting…

Michael Offutt…

Author…

Artist…

And...

Celebrating the release of OCULUS... 

Book 2 of "A Crisis of Two Worlds"

  

SHORT SYNOPSIS:  

Autumn has arrived in New York, and Jordan Pendragon

attends his first classes as a freshman at Cornell. Born

with a brilliant mathematical mind, he balances life as a

research assistant with that of a student athlete.

But Jordan also has a quest. He must find the Black Tower, 

a monolithic edifice housing a thing that defines the very

structure of the universe. Jordan believes it is buried

somewhere in Antarctica under miles of prehistoric ice.

October finds Jordan earning a starting position with the

Cornell hockey team. But a dark cloud gathers over his

rookie season. Unexplained deaths, whispers of a cannibal

cult, a prophecy, and a stone known only as the Oculus,

cast a shadow over his athletic ambitions. It is the start

of a terrifying journey down a path of mystery, murder,

and to a confrontation with an Evil more ancient than the stars.

For more information on Michael and OCULUS...
You can visit his website...
Or for more info on all of his books...
You can visit here.
F.Y.I.
SLIPSTREAM...
Is the first book in this series.



Have a great weekend all.

Always, Em-Musing

FOREIGN DOTS

It’s been said…

That children learn languages faster than adults.

But I don’t believe their brains are smarter…

I believe it has to do with dots…

Specifically children’s lack of dots.

Let me explain…

In my efforts to learn Spanish…

I find I’m always trying to make a connection…

Between an English word and the Spanish equivalent…

Or visa versa.

Sometimes it’s easy…

Like restaurant and restaurante…

Sometimes it’s not…

Like peanuts called cacawhatees Huh?

Or sometimes I’ll hear a word like yellow…

But it’s not a color…

It’s the Spanish word for ice spelled hielo.

‘H’ is always silent, and ‘J' sounds like ‘H’.

So see?

I’m always searching…

For ways to connect the dots…

Spanish dots to English dots…

And that’s my point…

Children are young enough…

They don't have as many dots...
When they learn a word, a phrase, or a concept…

There's nothing to connect to.

So?

Ever learn a second language or third?

How were you at connecting the dots?

Always, Em-Musing

REMINDING MY P'S & Q'S

Yesterday I mentioned all that I did…

On a recent trip to Ohio:

Family time, voting time, friend time…

But I failed to mention…

Hugging, connecting, and face time…

With my fellow writers of MVRWA.

I hadn’t been to a meeting in months…

Let alone coffee at Panera’s in months…

But I did both this trip…

And let me say…

NOTHING compares…

To the camaraderie of fellow writers!

They put into perspective…

A challenging review of a manuscript I recently got…

And sent me on my way...

Psyched, pumped...

And with a renewed quest…

To get published.

So?

Who’s there for you...

To put it all into pespective?

Always, Em-Musing

CHECKING BOXES TODAY

Went to Ohio 

Early voted

Celebrated grandson’s birthday

Had fun on Halloween with grandkids

Had going away party for daughter

Drove daughter to San Antonio in 2 days

Pooped and sore

Got back to Mexico yesterday

Will blog and social network more tomorrow

Oh, one more thing
Nervous waiting for election returns 

So?

Are you checking your election boxes today?

Always, Em-Musing