Tuesday, March 30, 2010


Something interesting happened at the dentist the other day.
I was having two old crowns replaced with two new ones.
But that’s not what was so interesting.
No, it started when I sat in the dental chair.
Boy! Talk about old!
No, not the chair—me.
It seems the older I get…
The bigger baby I become.
Or maybe it’s the writer in me…
Because lethal scenarios played in my head…
While two pairs of hands were crammed down my throat.
Like, what if I inhaled one of the cotton logs used to sop up my spit?
Or what if the goo used to make an impression wouldn’t ungoo?
And they had to break my teeth to get it off?
Or what if some of bits of the goo flew down my throat and hardened in my throat and I died?
But none of this is what I want to share.
What I want to share with you started when the dental assistant first swabbed my gums with a topical anesthetic.
And I mean A LOT of it!
Some of it dribbled down my throat.
Would it numb my lungs and I’d suffocate!
Then I remembered, I “swallowed” it, not inhaled it.
Silly me.
But that’s still not what I want to share with you.
After two hours, I finally left the dentist’s office.
It was almost noon.
I wasn’t hungry.
Unusual for me.
Then one o’clock rolled around.
Still not hungry.
Two o’clock.
Nope, still not hungry.
And then it occurred to me!
I had swallowed lots of drops of the topical  anesthetic.
Besides numbing my gums…
Maybe it numbed my stomach?
And stopped my hunger?
Maybe I’ve discovered a new weight loss technique!
Can’t very well go to the dentist everyday.
I can by Orajel…
And swallow some.
It’s got to be safe, because you can use it in kid’s mouths.
I was going to go to the grocery store today anyway…
Think I’ll pick up some Orajel and…
l keep you posted.
Always, Em-Musing

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