Tuesday, December 6, 2011

SNORT THE KIND OF STORY TO TELL

It’s not the kind of story most people would tell…
Let alone share…
But tell it, I did…and share it with you I am.
I’m not proud of it…
But it happened because there wasn’t a creative thought in my head...
And if you're a fellow writer maybe you can empathize.
You see I  sold my house (I don't live in it anymore)...
And was there all weekend clearing it out. I was pooped!
My daughter dropped my three grandkids off…
While she and her husband moved some things.
When they left, my nine-year-old piped up…
“Grandma tell us a ghost story!” 
“Grandma? Is Papa’s ghost here? The seven-year-old asked.
“Oh, no Peanut…no. Papa is in heaven (I hope)
Well, I needed to come up with something—quick!
So they wouldn’t dwell on my deceased husband/their Papa.
But the nine-year-old beat me to it, “Grandma? Why does it stink outside?
“Well, this used to be a pig farm (true) way back when,” I replied.
When it rains long and hard you can still smell the pigs.
And from the stench of the soil arose this stinky tale…
“A long time ago there used to be a little girl who lived here...
The kids in school used to make fun of her…
And called her Pig Girl because she smelled like a pig.
The only friends she ever had were the pigs.
Well, one day, after the school kids had taunted her real bad…
Pig Girl went down to the sty, cried herself to sleep and then froze to death.
You see, it was freezing outside, and even the pigs couldn't keep her warm.
And now, at night, whenever it’s cold outside…
You can hear Pig Girl crying.”
“What does she sound like, grandma?”
“Waaa snort, waaa snort, waaa snort.”
Fast forward one hour
Ringtone  Ringtone
“Mom? What the heck kind of story did you tell the kids?
“Why?”
“They’re running around snorting and scaring the baby.”
“Umm, well…
“Did you make up a story about a pig girl?”
“Well, yes. I uh...”
“Really mom? Is that the best story you could come up with?”
“What can I say? I was tired. And hungry!”
“And weird.”
“Ok, weird, yes, I'll admit to weird.”

So?
Ever tell a weird story? Or stupid or crazy?
What’s the worst one you told?

Always, Em-Musing

4 comments:

Anne Gallagher said...

That story was so fantastic you made me snort tea up my nose! Still laughing!!!

I can hear your daughter on the phone.

Still laughing!!

I'll remember this story for a long time. *snort*

Em-Musing said...

Thanks Anne *snort*

Talli Roland said...

hahahaha! This made me laugh. A lot. Pig Girl! That's brilliant.

Michelle Kott said...

Oh that was so great! I'm surprised they weren't scared.