LAW-LESS

We all know...

The law of expansion and contraction…

Works with solid surfaces like metal and asphalt…

But skin?

Because of my recent country hopping…

I experienced not just different temps…

And different humidities…

But my face doing things…

Nature didn’t intend.

It’s not supposed to puff up like an adder one day…

And then shrink like shriveled snake skin the next.

And now that I’m back in Ohio with its cold weather…

My furnace is constantly belching out dry heat…

And consequently…

I, and my face weren’t prepared for this next development:

“Mom? Why do you look weird?”

“What do you mean?”

“Were you crying?”

“No, why?”

“Your eyes look smaller.”

I ran to the mirror. Dear God! They did!

Can furnace heat shrink eyeballs?

Blow up cheeks?

And produce water-filled bags under my eyes?

Later, when I got on my computer…

I Googled my conditions and—Dear God! I’m doomed!

There’s no cream to unshrink eyeballs..

No vitamin or supplement to correct blown up cheeks!

OK, there are some creams to debloat the bags under my eyes…

But come on!

Ok, fine then…

If this is how it’s going to be…

I’m going to develop a bubble…

That I can fit into…

To cart my ass around in when I travel…

So I and my face won’t be subjected to…

The law of expansion and contraction.

However, I’m still going to have to figure out…

How to get rid of…

The six pounds of traveling fat that follow me around.

So?

Am I the only one who suffers when they travel?

Always, Em-Musing

P.S. Yeah, yeah I know, humidities, unshrink, and debloate

         are not real words.