Living in the tropics…
I
realize certain body parts of mine…
Have
an agenda all their own…
Like
my upper lip—it’s gone rogue.
Let
me explain.
Though
I love the climate here…
I
suffer…
Not
from the heat; not from the humidity…
But
from sweat.
Profuse
sweat.
And not
the all over the body sweat...
That
makes one glisten with dew…
No, my
upper lip is on sweat steroids…
Producing
more sweat than my armpits…
And thank
heavens…
There
aren’t any stink glands on my lip…
Otherwise I'd not only have to get mouthwash...
But lip wash...
And think of the complications...
You're about to kiss someone...
When they rear back.
"My breath?" you ask...
"No, it's your upper lip!"
"Guess I forgot to use my ChapStick deodorant."
The
worst part about my lip is when I’m around people.
I
can see their eyes widen…
As huge
drops form…
And they,
like you are now, probably think…
Just wipe your lip, Leigh!
Trust
me, hand swiping sweat doesn’t work…
You
just look sweaty-er.
So
now having lived (suffered) here for a year…
I’ve
developed my own Sweat Survival Kit.
First: Water. To replenish your sweat.
Second: Trace
minerals, potassium, and magnesium...
So your muscles don’t cramp…
And you won’t spaz out and scare people.
Third: Gatorade or other electrolyte beverage…
So you don’t go incoherent while driving.
Fourth: And most important—Bounty towels.
And only Bounty…
Because
it won’t leave paper residue…
On your upper like cheaper ones do.
And you
won’t be known as the loca
sweaty gringa.
Directions:
Take one Bounty sheet, fold until it’s
palm
size, tuck it
in your purse or pocket…
As soon as sweat drops form, ease out the
Bounty and…
Mop, mop, mop.
Cool,
huh?
So…
Do
some of your body parts have their own agenda?
Um…OK
guys, I know what your first answer might be…
How about
a second answer.
And am
I the only sweat hog?
Always,
Em-Musing
