OK . . .
I wasn’t going to mention this at all . . .
Because it sounds crazy . . .
But I think there are electronic imps in my office.
Because every time I want to print something important . . .
(Not that all the dozens of copies of various versions of my query letter aren’t important)
But print something that I actually have to mail or bring
with me somewhere . . .
My printer goes into crazy mode!
Like when I needed to send something for a submission to a literary contest a month ago.
Of course I waited till the last possible day.
And of course, my printer jammed up . . .
And then printed strange patterns on my paper.
And then again yesterday, all I wanted to do was print a marketing plan that I had developed for a friend.
All I needed to do was print and I was ready to go out the door.
I hit print.
I hit it again.
I checked all plugs and connections.
Everything was plugged and connected.
I turned the printer off than on again.
Then I went go into the "control panel" of my laptop . . .
Found where my printer was located . . .
Look at the properties . . .
And notice that the printer was “offline.”
Who turned it offline? The electronic imp? Because it wasn’t me.
See what I mean?
After several attempts, I get it “online” again.
And hit print.
I hit it again.
I go back into the control panel and look around.
OK! There’s the problem. I have 5 documents in queue.
No problem, I’ll just cancel all the documents that were waiting to be printed.
And they cancelled.
All except one. It wouldn’t un-queue.
It hit “delete” at least twenty times . . .
Three different ways!
Now I’m late for my appointment.
So I leave, sans marketing plan.
(Of course I could have copied the marketing plan and emailed it my friend, but I was so frazzled I hadn't thought of it.
Several hours later, I’m back.
The document was still deleting? Really?
So I tried “control, alt, deleting” it.”
OK, I’ll restart the computer.
Fine then! I’ll just turn the damn computer off.
Damn it! My laptop was locked-up!
Finally, 8:30 P.M. I talked with my daughter who told me to take out the battery.
I did, though I’m always a chicken when it comes to monkeying around with the back of my laptop.
And then this morning . . .
I hit on, the laptop booted up . . .
I’m back on!
I have no idea where the electronic imp went during the night . . .
But I’m glad it’s gone and . . .
Well . . .
I haven’t hit print yet to see if . . .
Wait . . .
I think . . .
My latest version of my query is printing!
Now all I have to do is . . .
Put an agent's name on it and . . .