PLASTIC EXPLOSIVE

Don’t sweat the small stuff.

I hear that a lot.

Well, you know what?

It’s always the small stuff that makes me crazy!

Like these small plastic bottles I recently bought for an upcoming trip.

I bought them only because of idiot terrorists . . .

Because of them, I, like the rest of the airplane traveling population, am now forced to carry all creams and liquids in a one quart baggie.

That is, if you want to carry your creams and liquids in your “carry-on” luggage.

And I usually do.

Unfortunately for me, all my cream jars are too large to fit into a one-quart baggie.

And so I need to transfer my creams to smaller jars.

I don't know why, but the bottles I just bought, although cheap, were bright pink, green, and blue, and made me happy to look at them.

And so, with one of the plastic bottles on the bathroom sink, I was ready to start transferring my facial creams.

But something bothered me . . .

A label was covering more than half of the bottle.

And I didn’t like looking at the cheap looking label on the bottle.

Note: cheap plastic bottle—OK. Cheap label on plastic bottle—NOT OK.

And so I peeled it off.

Or rather—I tried to peel it off.

What the heck kind of glue did the manufacturer use?

Super glue is never that effective.

Anyway, after the paper part of the label came off . . .

What was left was sticky, goo.

Yuck!

My pretty little bottle was pretty no more.

Fine then!

I’ll just take off the goo with nail polish remover.

Damn it!

Wasn’t gonna happen!

OK, I’ll try alcohol.

ARRGGHH!

Now there was smeared cloudy sticky goo all over the cheap bottle.

Damn it!

Not willing to be outsmarted by a cheap plastic bottle label, I filled the bathroom sink with hot soapy water and soaked the jar.

A half hour later . . .

For heaven’s sake!

The stupid goo still was there.

DAMN IT!

As a last resort, I grabbed the plastic bottle, aimed my thumbnail to scrape the smeared, sticky cloudy goo off  when . . .

Broke my fingernail!

F*@#*+#!! 

Totally frazzled, I looked at the clock and realized . . .

I had just spent more time trying to get a stupid, cheap label off a stupid cheap plastic bottle than the time it would take for me to . . .

Check my luggage before my flight  . . .

Traipse down to baggage claim after my flight and . . .

Claim my luggage.

Fine!

I just won’t take any carry-on luggage on this trip!

But don’t think you won, you cheap little plastic bottle!

Because you're going on a trip too . . .

To the garbage!

HA!

Always, Em-Musing