Wednesday, June 15, 2011

AWB: APARTMENT WITH BENEFITS

4:25 A.M.
My rooster hadn’t even crowed yet...
(the alarm on my Droid is a rooster)
And it’s not like I wanted to…
In fact, I would have preferred not to.
And it’s not like I could have avoided it…
I was still in bed.
The only place to escape…
Was deeper under the covers.
And even there I could still hear it.
And I could have enjoyed it…
After all, many people pay money to hear it.
At first I thought it was an animal.
A cat?
Two cats fighting?
But then–
"Nooo...ohhh..OOOOOOOO!"
Oh?
OH!
Hmm? How strange.
No, not that it happened and I heard it…
Because ever since spring…
Most bedroom windows in the apartment complex are open...
It was the noise of it…
No sexy oooing and ahhhing and panting like in the movies…
Or even the slow build-up to the crescendo…
Like in romance novels.
It was more like a yowling scuffle from a Goodfella scene…
Bada boom, bada bing.
Thank goodness though…
(at least from my perspective)
The cock didn’t crow very long.
So?
Have you ever been an unwitting listener?
To something you shouldn't have heard?


Always, Em-Musing 

7 comments:

Jen Daiker said...

Bahahahahaha "Whatever do you mean?" This was hilarious!!! How fun that your droid has a rooster sound (not that I'm going to see if my iPhone has it!)

I've heard many things that I probably shouldn't have but years later I'm finding they are perfect when I'm looking for that added edge to my writing. Guess it's true, if you're going to be friends with a writer just know you'll probably be sprinkled in their books.

Anne Gallagher said...

Oh yeah. I've heard it. From my parents no less. Talk about being grossed out. I'd rather hear a rooster.

Lydia K said...

This is why I'll never write romance. I'm blushing, just reading this post!

Em-Musing said...

LOL Anne!

Tana Adams said...

Yikes! Precicely why I can't even read heavy duty romance!

Jennifer Hillier said...

Hahahaha!

Yes, I have heard things I shouldn't. I've heard things that have made me wish I didn't have ears.

Michelle Kott said...

That was hysterical!!! Lol!