TRAVELING A FRAUD

I've always imagined that if I was a heroine in a novel, I would have lots of chutzpah and moxie. I'd fear nothing.

And I often amuse myself believing that I am.

But in reality, I'm not a heroine at all. I'm just an old scaredy-cat.

Like tomorrow.I’m traveling to Cancun. AND I'M AFRAID!

Of (God forbid) dying in a plane crash?

Nope.

Of being hijacked and taken hostage?

Nope.

Of being abducted and killed by a thug in a drug cartel (I hear their ruthless in Mexico)?

Nope.

Of the H1N1 flu that originated in Mexico?

Nope.

Of delays that could leave me stranded for hours if not days in airport terminals?

Nope.

Of hurricanes?

Nope.

Of Montezuma’s revenge?

Nope. Not since bottled water.

No, my fear of traveling is—and don’t laugh—not having enough vitamins with me.

I said don’t laugh! (Or role your eyes)

I’m serious!

The thought of traveling without my pile of vitamins and herbal supplements makes me crazy!

Or in this case, makes me feel like I’m going to get sick.

I take about thirty-some pills a day. And I feel great! But what would happen if I quit for a week?  Would I wake-up disease-ridden, hunched and stiff? Would I all of a sudden get coronary artery disease? Or Alzheimer’s?

The truth is I’ve never really taken all of my vitamins and herbal supplements when I’m on vacation. Or even when I’m home. But I’m afraid that the old adage, “there’s always a first time” will kick into effect this time.

And then, I’m afraid of not having all my facial creams.

So far, my skin looks good. But if I didn’t pack all my creams, would I wake up being a wrinkled wad of flesh? My face pooled on my pillow?

 

Of course I could take all my creams with me, but my suitcase is jammed already. I’m afraid my luggage will be over-the-weight limit and I’ll have to pay more.

And then, I’m afraid of not having enough food with me.

In my defense, I get hypoglycemic sometimes and need food fast. But I don’t want fast food.  So I always carry two Zone bars in my purse.

But what if I’m on the plane and my blood sugar drops? Will two zone bars be enough? What other options would I have?  A small bag of pretzels?  An even smaller bag of peanuts?

And then there’re my clothes. I fear I won’t have enough choices. And what about money? Am I bringing enough?

Oh, enough already!

I need a shot of tequila to calm my fears!

Hmm?

Just thinking about tequila is calming me down. I guess because that’s one thing I don’t have to be afraid of in Mexico—not enough tequila.

Always, Em, musing.