HATS ON!

Tah TAH!

Here are my new hats.

Yeah, not so different, I know...

But they're new!

And do match better with my outfits.

And did I mention...they're new?

Anyway... 

I'm off. to  RWA in NYC...

Can't say now if I'll post from there...

But if not...

I'll catch up next week.

Oh, and please excuse my informal tank top attire...

Because is me? Or is it hot in here?

Anyway, hope you have a sweat free 4th of July weekend!

Always, Em-Musing

THE GAMES BRAINS PLAY

Last week...

I got hit with a block…

Sort of like writer’s block, but not quite.

I got hit with—Muse block!

It’s seems I had no problem writing…

(because I worked on my W.I.P. last week)

It’s musing for my blog that blocked up my brain.

(hence my “no show” last week)

And besides my muse being blocked in my brain…

My brain is forgetting things!

Like names.

“Oh don’t worry,” I can hear you say…

“Everyone forgets names sometimes.”

 But names of spices?

“Don’t worry,” my psychologist friend in New Hampshire said…

(I was a guest at her house last week)

“Everyone has so much more information in their brains…

that it takes longer to process and find it.”
(OK, phew! It’s normal, not Alzheimer’s)

And she’s right, I am processing more lately…

I’ve been processing practicing pitching for–

RWA National Conference this week…

I’m leaving tomorow!

SQUEEEEEEE!

And good for me…I’ve got my pitch down pat.

Just not good for me ‘cause I don’t have…

An agent or editor session lined up.

But that’s OK, I’ll stand in the corral waiting for a slot and pitch…

SQUEEEEEEE!

I’ve also got my wardrobe picked out and packed…

SQUEEEEEE!

And a new hat.

I mean, I had to get a new hat, didn’t I?

I mean, I have to keep my persona up, don’t I?

SQUEEEEEE!

Well, wish me luck...

SQUEEEEEE!

I’m off to New York City!

(and if I say SQUEEEEEE one more time…

please, someone slap me!)

Always, Em-Musing

P.S. Tomorrow, before I leave, if my brain can remember...

I'm going to post a photo on my blog of my new hat .

Today...
I'm guest blogging over at the MVRWA blog...
Check it out.

http://www.mvrwa.net/2011/06/judge-for-yourself.html

Always, Em-Musing

ADVENTURES IN AISLE 2

“We’re bored!” my two granddaughters whined…

They’re 6 and 8. I babysat them last week.

Bored? I thought not…

More like…

We need electronic stimulation…

And you won’t let us watch TV or use the computer.

“Read a book,” I droned for the umpteenth time.

“We do read. In school. School’s over.”

Ah ha!  I had a plan.

“Get your shoes on, we’re going on an adventure.”

And so I schlepped two excited kids…

To Meijer, a super grocery store.

“Grandma! This isn’t an adventure.”

“Oh, you’ll see.”

And then we were in the aisle with all the books.

“Books? Mommy brings home books all the time.”

“I know.’

“And we’ve read them all.”

“I know.”

“So where’s the adventure?”

“On the back of every book.”

“Instead of mommy picking the books...

You’re going to discover—the story within.”

Though doubtful, the were intrigued.

“I’ll buy each of you one.”

Now they were excited.

I watched them scan the book’s cover art.

The 8-year-old kept going back to Rick Riordan’s books.

The 6-year-old was by Jeff Kinney’s Diary of a Wimpy Kid series.

“Do you want one of those?”

Grandma, I read them all.”

“Get one with Stink!” the 8-year-old squealed.

And so after reading the back cover,

The 6-year-old decided on.this one by Megan McDonald. 

(Hmm? She wasn't influenced by grandma, was she?)

The 8-year-old couldn’t decide on which Riordan book to buy…

Each one’s cover art looked thrilling.

So I read the blurb on the back of at least five to her.

I could see her getting captivating by each. Still she couldn’t decide.

“How about you start with book one in The Kane Chronicles?”

And so I bought her The Red Pyramid.

When we got back to their house…

I didn’t hear from them all afternoon.

At least for me…

I hope their age group doesn’t go all “eBooks”…

I don’t’ think our adventure would have been as much fun if…

“So? Which book do you want to download today?”

What are your thoughts?

Always, Em-Musing

WHAT THE FOK?

Oh boy...

I'm writing this post knowing it'll be controversial...

But here  I go anyway.

I went to dinner last night at Red Robin…

(great burgers, but I prefer to chew in a more quiet setting)

It was my granddaughter’s birthday dinner.

(birthday dinner? I never gave my kids a birthday dinner)

And in true princess mode…

My granddaughter left the restaurant in tears about “something.”

Anyway, before the pouting and theatrics…

I had asked my daughter and her husband…

If they ever heard of Go the FOk—to Sleep by Adam Mansbach.

Well, the conversation got as lively…

As the ten waiters clapping and singing the happy birthday song.

They loved it. (the book not the singing).

Me? Hmm?

Guess ‘cause I’m of a different generation (yes, that means older)...

While I find it funny…

I still find it offensive to me (there…I said it).

Is putting kids to bed challenging?

It can be.

And I know, I raised two kids…

And babysat three grandkids everyday for four years.

And that equals hundreds and hundreds of bed and naptimes.

My take on putting kids to bed is…

There’s nothing new about it…

Except the parenting.

I often hear my daughters tell their kids…

“Eat your dinner, please.”  

Or…

“Clean your room, please.”

Please? Are you kidding? Please?

My parents never said, “please” to me to do anything.

And I never said “please” to my kids.

When was just, “do it” not enough?

While I don’t like this Mansbach book…

(he’s written several other acclaimed books)

I do like this quote from him…

“There’s this culture of preciousness and perfection around parenting so people are a little bit reluctant to admit to some of the frustrations because you’re supposed to be a super parent and not complain,” says Mansbach.

And my comment to that is…

Stop being a super parent…

Just be a parent…

Yes, you’ll have to deal with the angst…

Of hearing your kid whine or cry—a lot!

But just be a firm parent during the day…

And be a firm parent at night.

Because the truth is…

No one said that being a parent was easy.

So stop whining and...

Just the fok do it!

(Yeesh! I don't even like when I write this)

So?

Have you read or heard of Mansbach’s book?

What’s your take?

And when I said this post was going to be controversial...

I meant my take on parenting...not the book.

Always, Em-Musing    

AWB: APARTMENT WITH BENEFITS

4:25 A.M.

My rooster hadn’t even crowed yet...

(the alarm on my Droid is a rooster)

And it’s not like I wanted to…

In fact, I would have preferred not to.

And it’s not like I could have avoided it…

I was still in bed.

The only place to escape…

Was deeper under the covers.

And even there I could still hear it.

And I could have enjoyed it…

After all, many people pay money to hear it.

At first I thought it was an animal.

A cat?

Two cats fighting?

But then–

"Nooo...ohhh..OOOOOOOO!"

Oh?

OH!

Hmm? How strange.

No, not that it happened and I heard it…

Because ever since spring…

Most bedroom windows in the apartment complex are open...

It was the noise of it…

No sexy oooing and ahhhing and panting like in the movies…

Or even the slow build-up to the crescendo…

Like in romance novels.

It was more like a yowling scuffle from a Goodfella scene…

Bada boom, bada bing.

Thank goodness though…

(at least from my perspective)

The cock didn’t crow very long.

So?

Have you ever been an unwitting listener?

To something you shouldn't have heard?

Always, Em-Musing 

TREASURE TROVE

TREASURE!
Buried treasure!

I found some!

It must have been fate…

Since I was blogging about pirates…

Because isn’t buried treasure what pirates find?

OK, it wasn’t a chest of treasure…

It was one tarnished old dime…

And a pair of earrings…

Silver frog earrings, to be exact.
See?

I found them…

While I was planting Stella Doro lilies in my front garden.

And what’s odd to me is…

Usually women lose just one earring...
Not both.

And what’s even odder, or a coincidence…

Is one year I counted frog and toad populations…

For the Metro parks with  my daughter.

And I can tell the calls of Western Chorus, Spring Peepers…

Wood, Green, Bull and Gray tree frogs…

And American and Fowler toads.

Impressed?

Yeah, I know…not a big deal.

OK, how about this…

If you saw the movie Pirates of the Caribbean 4…

Then you know Barbosa caught and used red frogs as a weapon.

See? 

A coincidence, no?

Still not impressed.
OK, then impress me…

Ever find buried treasure?

Or what’s the strangest thing you ever dug up?

(and I hope it wasn’t a body)

Or...
As a writer...
Have you ever made any of your characters unearth something?

Always, Em-Musing

AYE, MATEY

I saw Pirates of the Caribbean 4 this weekend…
And all I can say is, “Aye, yai, yai.”

Or perhaps I should say, “Eye,eye, eye.”

(a bit too much eye make-up this time Jack?)

I think this was the best one so far.

The action and special effects were great…

And I loved, loved, loved Ian McShane as Blackbeard…

But more…

I loved it because Jack was in love.

In the first three movies…

Jack was just a swaggering, swashbuckling scalawag.

But in this one…

He was a man in love with Penelope Cruz.

No, there weren’t any love scenes…

But there was lots of sexual tension.

And doesn't that always make for a great story?

So for me...

Just give me a good story, a hunk and sexual tension...

And I'm happy.

And way before I fell in love with Johnny Depp/Jack Sparrow..

I fell in love with Tyrone Power/Henry Morgan.

(no, I wasn't on earth when this came out...

but I remember seeing it on TV)

So?

Love sexual tension?

What's your favorite movie or novel?

Always, Em-Musing

WRITER THONGED TO DEATH

Since living on my own since, well…

Four years now…

I’ve choked or somehow haphazardly…

Almost caused my own demise…

Or at the very least…

Almost caused grave bodily harm…

And always by unlikely culprits…

Like the jalapeno pepper I popped in my mouth…

Causing my throat to slam shut!

Note: there is no Heimlich for slammed-shut throats!

Or the vitamins and herbs I choked on.

Note: You need a FULL glass of water to swallow a handful of pills.

And then just yesterday…

A thong almost took me out.

As I stood on one foot balancing…

While putting the other foot in the leg opening...

My big toe got snared in the lace…

Causing me to lose my balance…

Which then caused me…

To hurtle head first towards the hardwood floor!

Thankfully, I pitched sideways and fell into the bed.

Note: perhaps next time I should sit down when putting it on.

Note: perhaps it’s time to give up thongs.

Note: perhaps this was TMI?

Note: I only blogged about this because one of my writer friends
         at coffee yesterday  said I should.

So?

Have you ever been the victim of an unlikely culprit?

Always, Em-Musing

OFF WITH THEIR MISTAKES!

The other day, I turned my laptop on…

And a pop-up popped up informing me…

That I had some registry errors.

A few minutes later another pop-up appeared…

This time I needed to download a new version of something.

Then lo and behold, another  pop-up alerted me…

That something was detected, I needed to check it out.

And with one quick keystroke...

All were instantly fixed.

So this morning…

Turning on my computer I thought…

Wouldn’t it be great if there was software…

That after you put in your manuscript at night…

Would give you pop ups in the morning…

That indicated…

There are holes in your plot

Your voice isn’t clear and strong enough

Your first paragraph and page don’t have a strong hook

Cut out the adverbs

OK, OK, OK…I can hear you now…

A beta reader, critique partner or editor can point out these.

But in my universe…

The manuscript software would…

Tah, tah tah, TAH!

FIX all the errors…

With one flick of a computer key!

So you wouldn’t have to be bogged down…

With the mundane…

Your time would be used only for creating fantastic stories.

Yes! That’s what I would create if I was queen.

And speaking of queens…

While I was down the rabbit hole yesterday researching…

Alice in Wonderland, Queen of Hearts and...

Common mistakes in manuscripts...

I came upon this agent’s blog…

Adventures in Agentland…

That has an Alice in Wonderland graphic.

(by the way, what’s the correct punctuation for blog titles?)

Isn’t that so synchronistic?

LOVE when that happens.

So?

What would you do…

If you were Queen/King of the Universe?

And you can’t say the obvious…

You know, end war, starvation and such…

You have to play this game my way

Oh, please, please, please play with me.

Always, Em-Musing

THE HOLE SWALLOWED MY BLOG

Well…

I went down the rabbit hole this morning.

And didn’t come back to post…

My original idea for my blog...

Until three hours later.

You see, I was going to write about me…

Being the Queen of the Universe.

(OK, that sounds crazy, I  know…

But I’ll explain it tomorrow)

It all began when I was researching…

(Yes, I even do research on my wacky thoughts)

And stumbled upon some websites that I just had to follow.

Like Alice following the rabbit…

My curiosity kept wanting to know more…

And I kept falling deeper and deeper...

Into learning about Joseph Campbell’s book…

The Hero with a Thousand Faces.

And then Christopher Volger’s book…

The Writer’s Journey: Mythic Structure for Writers

Here’s a blurb:

The Writer's Journey: Mythic Structure For Writers is a popular screenwriting textbook by writer Christopher Vogler, focusing on the theory that most stories can be boiled down to a series of narrative structures and character archetypes, described through mythological allegory.^[1] Vogler based this work upon the writings of mythologist Joseph Campbell, particularly The Hero with a Thousand Faces, and holds that all successful films innately adhere to its principles. The book was very well received upon its release, and is often featured in recommended reading lists for student screenwriters.^[2][3][4]

^{And so you see…}
After reading Volger’s twelve “Stages of the Journey” of the hero…
And learning that this formula...
Was used by George Lucas in Star Wars…
And in other movies like Indiana Jone, The Matrix, and more…
I'm going to see if implementing this formula...
Will work in my W.I.P.
So?

Have you ever heard of Campbell's or Volger’s books?

Ever put either to use in your novels?

Always, Em-Musing

P.S. My favorite quote from Campbell is"

Follow your bliss