THE LOW DOWN

Wednesday…

My heart…

Feels like it’s had the happy sucked out of it.

But…

I am a writer…

I will go into my mind and create…

Whatever I need to…

To make a new happiness today...

I can even write poetry…

(let’s not get ridiculous)

Actually…

I feel fired up to write some new chapters…

In a new novel I’ve started.

I had thought of indulging on a chocolate binge…

But eating extra calories won’t make me happier.

And I know this is just a temporary moment…

Because I know me...

I can't stand feeling sorry for myself...

I always strive for happy.

So for now, I’ll stick to coffee and writing...

And Greek yogurt with honey and cinnamon..

And a banana.

So?

Can you write when you’re feeling low?

Does your writing change?

Or do you write different things when you’re down?

Like poetry?

Always, Em-Musing

SHHH OUT!

This is a shout out to

Anne Gallagher…

The Piedmont Writer.

THANKS!
For helping me with my blurb yesterday.

As it turned out…

I was on the right track…

But…

As it always happens—at least with me…

I don’t have the confidence of my own words.

First I felt like, Shhh! This is really crap!

Then, after her honest remarks I felt like…

Yeah! I am so ready to send this baby OUT!

So?

Who do you all have to help/read/critique…

And give you honest feedback...

When you don’t have the confidence…

Of your own “shhh” words?

Always, Em-Musing

BLURB BRAIN

Just about ready to send my manuscript…

So I check my Submission Guidelines Checklist
Manuscript complete and edited  a
Cover letter  a
Synopsis  a
Query   a
Blurb…

Blurb?

Yes, I know what a blurb is…

But after many hours…

It seems I just can’t write a blurb!

And why? A blurb is short…

I write short…

I’m the queen of writing short!

But I’m stuck writing this blurb.

So I search all my query versions…

There has to be something in these I can tweak.

Nada.

I look at the back of a dozen books for inspiration.

Yeah! I got inspired…

But still couldn’t write the blurb.

Why?

What’s blocked in my brain…

That’s preventing me from writing the blurb?

Is it a physical organic brain matter thing?

Or a psychological brain matter?

Maybe I’m not really a writer if I can’t write a blurb.

(No! I am a writer. I am, I am, I am!)

Am I though, the only one this has ever happened to?

The only one stuck on this literary trifle?

Has your brain ever froze on a detail when writing.

Always, Em-Musing

SCREW OFF!

I’m tired of opening things!

It finally dawned on me this morning…

When I tried to open an Aleve pill package.

When my fingers couldn’t open it…

I resorted to a knife…

But the knife slipped across the package and…

WRITER IMPALED TRYING TO GET RID OF HEADACHE.

 And yesterday I bought wrinkle cream…

WRITER GASHES FINGER TRYING TO OPEN PLASTIC PACKAGING 

And just the other day…

WRITER GOES CRAZY TRYING TO PULL APART CHIP BAG

A hundred years ago…

Life was simpler…

The only things I would have to open…

Would be a door…

Or a jar.

Now there are thousands of confounding new things to open…

And all open differently.

I’m tired of trying to find tools—like wire cutters…

To open packages when a scissor or knife won’t work.

I think there ought to be a law…

That standardizes how things open…

There would be only three ways:

Pulling apart, screwing off, or lifting off.

And the packages or product lids would all be tested…

By little old ladies with arthritis.

If they can’t open it…

Redesign!

Am I the only writer…

Or person…

Who’s finding it hard to open new packaging?

Always, Em-Musing

P.S. I don't have arthritis

A.I.P. AUTHOR IN PROCESS

Just a short blog post today...
I'm working on getting out another submission...
And it's not that it's such a complicated process...
It's just that Word keeps breaking format...
When I copy my manuscript ...
And paste it to another document...
I won't bore you with the details...
But before I e-send the new document...
I'm going to go over it like the IRS...
Scrutinizing my tax deductions.
I will leave you with a link...
To one of my favorite songs...
That I not only listen to...
But have been dancing to.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7QW--gGbDSI
The title: Yo No Se Manana means...
I don't know about tomorrow...
Which is fitting with submitting.
Till tomorrow...
Adios.


Always, Em-Musing

TICK TOCK NOT!

I had a bit of insomnia last night…

Which is unusual for me…

Usually, I just lay my head on the pillow and *poof* …

I’m asleep. And I stay asleep.

But not last night.

Well, I did fall asleep, but woke up at 2 A.M…

Guess it was the thunder…

But then I couldn’t fall back…

I flipped and flopped on the mattress…

Like catfish nuggets in a sizzling hot skillet.

So I thought, hmm?

Let me see if this is a good time to be inspired...

Perhaps I'll create new angles in my W.I.P.

Nada!

Not a single useful idea.

My brain doesn’t function at that hour.

The only thoughts circling my brain was:

Why does my cat always have to sleep by my head?

And…

Why does she smell like a dog?

Anyway…

I did finally fall back asleep…

And then got up again at 4:30 A.M….

My brain now in creative mode.

Obviously I’ve trained my brain…

Or it’s trained me…

That this time in the morning is my time to write.

How about you?

Do you have certain times that you write?

Or are there times when you just can’t write?

Always, Em-Musing

THE TIME FRITTERER'S LIFE

It’s the title of my new book.

Don’t laugh…

I’ve spent so much time…

Frittering away time…

That I think I could fill a whole book full of chapters.

Oh, and you know how it starts, don’t you?

Hmm? Let’s see, it goes like this…

You know you should be working on your W.I.P…

But your mind can’t focus…

At least on that…

Your eyes dance around...

Searching for a reason…

(a.k.a. an excuse)…

To do something more important.

(at least it seems like it at the time)

Like cleaning the slats on Venetian blinds.

Did you know that could take hours?

Or going through “trash” in emails…

Heaven forbid I deleted something there I needed.

My biggest distraction though...

Is researching something on Google.

And who could fault a person for learning?

Like the latest laser technology to get rid of wrinkles…

Or how will the world really end in 2012?

Or...
Well, you get the idea.
So?

Are you a time fritterer?

C’mon, I can’t be the only writer who is...

What’s the most creative time fritter you’re guilty of?

Always, Em-Musing

DOUBLE EDGED WORDS

Printed books…

The final frontier…

Of No Stealth Advertising!

Yes, stealth advertising...it’s everywhere!

Like on my blog that I didn't allow!
And it’s not that I’m opposed to advertising…

I worked in advertising & marketing for many years.

So I understand the need for ads in the electronic media…

Like radio and TV…
(it’s how they stay in business)

Then came commercials at the movies…

(trust me, complaining doesn’t help)

And then on every Internet website…

(can’t fault someone for making extra bucks)

And even “free” Internet radio isn’t free anymore…

(If I hear Flo on one more Progressive spot I’m gonna scream)

But infiltrating my own personal blog?

When did advertisers think they could do this?

That’s downright devious if you ask me.

And they’re sneaky about it too…

They just double underlined words in my copy…

And then it looks like I did it.

Did they think I wouldn’t notice?

I see these double underlined words everywhere too.

Am I the only one seeing them?

(maybe I need an eye exam?)
Did I inadvertently “agree” to something?

So I checked Blogger...
And there is something called AdSense...
That uses double underlined words...
But I didn't sign up for that!
And now I have to take time to contact them...
And get them to stop.
But then, is it just me seeing double underlined words everywhere?

I don’t have an e-reader yet…

But please tell me there’s no advertising on them.

Is there?

Always, Em-Musing
P.S. If you know how to stop these double underlined words..
        popping up, please let me know.

I'LL NEVER SURRENDER!

Being gone a month…

Even though I had someone come in…

My apartment took a hit…

Like becoming one big fur ball because of my cat…

And dust bunnies as big as my cat under the bed…

And an avalanche of mail, mostly junk…

And some of my plants…

Well…

See what I mean?

Awwww!

At first I felt sad…

But then this lonely little petunia inspired me…

It just didn’t give up...

No!

It defied the odds!

It could have surrendered to the elements...

But it hung on!

It found a reason to continue...

And this little petunia reminds me of me…

With my submissions…

Hope and persistence.

And every now and then...

A friend rescuing me with some water of encouragement.

So?

What does my petunia inspire in you?

Or do you have a caption?

Always, Em-Musing

P.S.  I am NOT putting those underlined words in my post.

         Somehow advertisers have figured out how to

         invade my blog and put their messages there.

         I do NOT like this and will try to stop in the future.

IS IT JUST ME?

 Is it just the writer in me?

Or am I just plain paranoid?

Yesterday…

I had to get blood drawn for some tests…

So I went to my handy path lab…

Just a few blocks away.

As I pulled up, I noticed there were no cars.

Great, I thought. Easy in, easy out…

And being that I had fasted, I was anxious to eat.

So I go in and huh?

A Christmas tree?

With decorations that looked like Hawaiian lays?

Weird. Very Weird.

Then, even though I was the only one there…

I had to wait many minutes…

While the young woman behind the counter…

Did whatever she did before noticing me.

Hellooooooo? Am I in another dimension? Can you see me?

Then, after I filled out a form…

The young woman couldn’t enter the info into the computer...

So another woman came out and now both were figuring it out.

Um, really? It takes two to figure entering simple data?

So is that’s why no one else is here?

Because you’re so inept?

Maybe I should just walk out and–

“I’ll take you back now,” the one woman says…

“Figuring this computer program out could take awhile.”

Now I panic!

What if she’s so inept, she can’t find my vein?

What if she forgot to wash her hands…

After she went to the bathroom?

What if I get a nasty infection?

What if I missed the news story on this:

A Rash of Deadly Infections Linked to Local Lab.

And what if I get it? And the infection kills me?

Oh, no! Then I won’t get published and what if–

Wait! Oh no! I’m feeling faint I don’t want to faint here!

So I let her draw my blood…

I then raced to my car and crammed down a Zone bar.

As I wiped the chocolate crumbs from my mouth…

I vowed I’d be vigilant looking for symptoms of infection or…

Wait!

Am I just being paranoid?

Or is creating crazy scenarios…

Just the writer in me?

Always, Em-Musing 
P.S. I don't know why Blogger hi-lited some words.
Are they monitoring me?

MORE HELP

Big headline yesterday…

Regarding author, Kathryn Stockett…

Judge throws out suite against
‘The Help’ author

Seems a woman is suing Ms. Stockett ...

Because she feels the author used her name...

And likeness. without permission.

But...

The bigger headline for me regarding Kathryn Stockett…

Was the one I saw while sitting in my gyno’s office…

Trying to get my mind off of the annual poke and prod.

I had picked up the May issue of More magazine…

And saw this headline:

Kathryn Stockett’s ‘The Help’
Turned Down 60 Times Before
Becoming a Best Seller

Wow!  60 times rejected!

That gives me motivation…

That gives me no reason to put off any longer…

Sending out my more submissions!

And that did get my mind off of...

The annual poke and prod.

So?

Any author's journey to publication...

Get you motivated?

And/or...

Have your read or seen THE HELP?

Always, Em-Musing

CHEAT OOOOH!

I know this is going to sound crazy but…

I think I’ve discovered a body phenomenon…

That even medical science has yet to learn...

Fat talks!

Now, before you scoff…

Or call the paddy wagon…

Let me explain.

I was in the grocery store…

Feeling pretty good…

You see…

It had had an evil intestinal flu over the weekend…

But being sick wasn’t why I felt good…

It was because the flu caused me to lose two pounds!

(Trust me—that’s a mean feat.)

So there I was…

Minding my own business…

Walking down the aisles when I heard–

“Buy the Cheetos.”

OK,  I was standing in front of a display…

But there was no demonstration lady…

Or anyone else but me.

So?

The voice that said, “Buy the Cheetos,”

Had to be coming from me, right?

But it wasn’t my mind that was talking…

Because my mind would have said, “No, they’ll make you fat.”

Nor was it my stomach talking…

Because my stomach would have said, “I’m not hungry.”

So it had to be my fat talking.

That dimply, hunky, bumpy fat…

Urging me…prodding me.. pleading me…

To buy the Cheetos!

And why?

Because it was mad I lost two of its pounds.

So there my fat was—seducing me...

To buy the one snack besides Fritos that I love--CHEETOS!

Well, it took all my willpower…

But I DID NOT buy those Cheetos…

I walked right past that Cheetos display…

But not before I had checked the calories per serving.

Yikes! 170 calories per 27 crackers.

I can easily down ten handfuls and still want more.

Well, there you have it. My medical discovery.

So?

Does your fat ever seduce you?

And if so, what does it want you to eat?

Always, Em-Musing

P.S. My next medical discover is going to be...

        How to make my fat shut up!

HI HO

Hi ho...
Hi ho...
It's back to the states I go...
Waaaaah!
Actually...
I'm missing my daughters and grandkids...
And I have a ton of business to take care of.
And I'd like to thank all my new followers
THANKS!
Have a great weekend all...
See you next week.


Always, Em-Musing

ELEMENT OF FEAR

 “It was a dark and stormy night”…

Ah…how many scary yarns has that classic first line inspired?

But what about:

“It was a dark and formidable body of water”

Huh?

Don’t scoff…

While reading Duma Key by Stephen King…

I'm amazed how he envisioned something scary in the Gulf of Mexico.

(that’s Stephen King though at his best, isn’t it?)

But throughout literature, scary beasts in the water…

Have been spawned in the mind of other great authors, e.g.

Jaws by Peter Benchley—a scary shark from the Atlantic…

Moby Dick by Herman Meville—a mean whale of a tale…

Twenty Thousand Leagues Under the Sea by Jules Verne…

“The Seven Voyages of Sinbad” from Arabian Nights…

Well, you get the idea…

They all envisioned “something” scary in the water.

And I’m sure there are many more authors and stories…

That I just can’t think of now.

And obviously, there are many more authors…

Who write about other bodies of water…

That are not scary at all…

Perhaps something romantic, no?

I just can’t think of any now.

Can you?

Or…

Have you written a novel where a body of water...
Is a key element?

Always, Em-Musing 

KILLED BY THY PEN

DAMN HIM!

I was going to blog on something else this A.M…

But I just got back from the bathroom…

Where I encountered a murder!

And that’s all I can think of right now.

DAMN THE S.O.B.!

What kind of author kills off the beloved daughter character?

What kind of sick mind thinks of this?

Stephen King, that’s who.

I’m almost done with Duma Key…

Savoring each page (yes, in the loo)…

When DAMN!

Mr. King killed the most likeable character!

I expected this story to heighten my emotion of horror …

But in a scary way…

Not in a sad way.

Actually, the daughter was the second victim….

The first being an old lady…

You just KNEW was going to bite the dust.

But the daughter!

I HATE HIM!

I LOVE HIM!

I LOVE HOW HE TELLS A STORY!

But, damn, Stephen! The daughter?

So?

Have you ever killed of one of your beloved characters?

Always, Em-Musing

IF YOU GIVE A WRITER A FISH

No doubt you’ve  heard the saying:

If you give a man a fish he’ll eat for a day.

Well, I say, if you give a writer a fish…

They wouldn’t eat it…                                                                         

They’d want to know about it.

What kind of fish is it?

Where did it come from?

Why is the fish being given to them?

How old is the fish? How did it die?

(or maybe it's been poisoned to look dead)

How many ways are there to cook it?

Yeesh! Do they have to clean it?

And what if it was a shapeshifter fish? A werefish?

Well, you get the idea…

Writers analyze and research every angle of every thing they write about.

In fact some writers are so good at doing research...

They’d find the afore mentioned fish’s mammy and pappy.

But then, after the research, comes the real fun part—creating.

Of course the ending of the quote above is this:

If you teach a man to fish, he can feed himself for the rest of his life.

So, the question begs to be asked:

What happens when you teach a writer the craft of writing?

Does it guarantee publication the rest of his/her career?

Unfortunately, no. Wish it did.

Unfortunately the down and dirty nitty gritty is:

Long hours, editing, submissions, rejections, angst, persistence…

And sometimes a bit of luck is what it takes. And let’s not forget marketing.

So next time you read a book and say, “I could have written this book better”…

I say—go ahead…

Jump into the ever changing currents of writing for publication…

And see if you get hooked.

But if you’re not quite ready to take the plunge…

All you have to do is go to Red Lobster…

I’m sure there’s a cod fillet there…

That has a whopper of a story to tell...

All you have to do is create it.

Always, Em-Musing

LIKE A BOX OF ALTOIDS.

Ever read a book so  s l o w l y…

Because you didn’t want it to end?

I’m still reading Stephen King’s Duma Key…

But not because it’s 790 pages long…

And I’m such a sissy slow reader…

It’s because the story is so interesting…

The characters are so compelling…

That I don’t want to rush the experience.

While I can’t wait to find out what’s next…

And I know the story must end sometime…

I can’t bear to rush it.

Like Altoids mints…

That overwhelm if you have too many...

I dole out the chapters...

A few at a time.

Enjoying each "curiously strong" one. 

So?

Ever read a book that was soooo good…

You didn’t want to rush it?

And if so…

What was it?

Always, Em-Musing