FRUSTRATED & SATED

I struggle…

With technology.

“You’re technologically challenged,” people have said.

But am I?

I work with technology all the time…

It’s just that learning new stuff makes me crazy!

*light bulb moment*

Wait! Hold the brain cells …

I’m not tech-challenged—I’m tech-frustrated!

Yes, frustration is what grabs my brain…

And wrangles it down to mush...

Or shuts it down…

Or puts it into overload…

Or does something.

And then the only thing…

That makes my brain settle down is…

Tequila.

I confess…

I’ve been known to down a few shots…

When frustration strikes.

Like the other day…

I got a voiceover job…

From a former client in the States.

WOO HOOOOO! SQUEE!

Never expected that.

And it’s the first v/o in over a year since living here.

Excited, I ran out, bought a plug-n-play microphone…

Then came home…

And was ready to downloaded some software when…

No Internet.

*@#$&R@%^(*&^%^(^7$%*+:<#^^%$%**!

An hour later…

Not only had I worked myself into a tizzy…

My voice wasn’t ready to do anything but scream.

Not wanting to be intoxicated at noon…

I took several deep breaths…

Just then I looked at my phone.

Hmm? It had an Internet connection.

So something was askew with my computer...

I searched and found the computer manual and…

DUH!

Never knew there was a little button on my computer…

That turns the Internet on and off.

I must have inadvertently moved it to off…

When I plugged the mic in.

OK, now I was ready to record when…

*@#$&R@%^(*&^%^(^7$%*+:<#^^%$%**!

Well…

I won’t bore you with the frustration that followed…

But I will say this…

After three days of trial and error…

I sent the mp3 files for the 3 radio spots.

The client was happy.

Me? Exhausted but happy.

(and no tequila was used)

So tell me…

Do you ever get techi-frustrated?

Always, Em-Musing

THE PERFECT STORM

Today I’m honored to bring you… 

CassaStorm by Alex J. Cavanaugh

A storm gathers across the galaxy…

Byron thought he’d put the days of battle behind him. Commanding the Cassan base on Tgren, his only struggles are occasional rogue pirate raids and endless government bureaucracies. As a galaxy-wide war encroaches upon the desert planet, Byron’s ideal life is threatened and he’s caught between the Tgrens and the Cassans. 

After enemy ships attack the desert planet, Byron discovers another battle within his own family. The declaration of war between all ten races triggers nightmares in his son, shaking Bassan to the core and threatening to destroy the boy’s mind. 

Meanwhile the ancient alien ship is transmitting a code that might signal the end of all life in the galaxy. And the mysterious probe that almost destroyed Tgren twenty years ago could be on its way back. As his world begins to crumble, Byron suspects a connection. The storm is about to break, and Byron is caught in the middle…

Release date: September 17, 2013
Science Fiction - Space Opera/Adventure
Print ISBN 9781939844002
E-book ISBN 9781939844019

Always, Em-Musing

WARD DIN

Several days last week…

I sat with a dear friend…

Who was in the hospital, recovering from surgery.

But Lord!

How could anyone concentrate on getting better…

For all the noise…

Coming from down the hall?

Crying!

Sobbing!

Moaning!

And sometimes screaming!

Were the labor rooms nearby?

The emergency room?

Each day I was there…

I heard these same outbursts.

Curious…

I went to see…

I tip-toed closer to one patient room…

The door was open a crack…

I put my head by it and…

WAAAAAAAA!

Lord! I almost jumped out of my skin!

And then I heard lots of fast talking.

Not able to contain my curiosity…

I pushed the door open a bit...

And staring back at me…

Was a whole family sitting around the bed.

Oh, sorry! Lo siento! Didn’t mean to bother you.

Lord! Was the patient dead?

And how many die a day in here?

Before exiting mit haste…

I made a quick scan of the room…

And then…

I spotted the source of all the racket…

Ah HAH!

It was…

The TV!

Now, I don’t need be a linguist to understand…

The weeping, sobbing, and angry outbursts…

Emanating from the flat screen…

Because in any country…

Any language…

All soap opera sounds…

Sound the same.

So?

What kind of universal sounds…

Do you work Into your writing?

And so, are you, or ever have been a soap opera fan?

Always, Em-Musing

TRIPPING THE BLOG FANTASTIC

Here in Mexico…

The most feared law enforcement agents…

Are the judiciales, similar to our F.B.I.

If they’re at your door—dun, dun duuuuuun…

You’re going to jail.

After my blog post yesterday…

Where I successfully scared some followers…

About the wildlife in the area where I live…

I just know the time is coming when…

KNOCK KNOCK

“Who’s there?”

(please be a joke)

“The Judiciales.”

Lord! I’m going to jail!

“Open up. We’re confiscating your laptop.”

“Oh, please don’t. I can’t live without it.”

“You’re scaring tourists away with your stupid blog.”

“I’m just trying to be amusing. Get it? Em-musing.”

“We don’t think it’s funny that you’re scaring

tourists. Tourism is what this area depends on. 

You’re robbing families of income. ”You're meaner

than the cartels.'

“I’m so sorry!”

“Am I going to jail? I really don’t want to rot.”

“Not this time, but if we catch you scaring anymore

tourists we’ll haul you off to a dungeon.”

“Thank you! Thank you!”

“And gringa? Do you remember when you got your

residency visa you were told to learn Spanish?”

“Yes, uh…I mean SI.”

“Well, you’re not doing very well, are you?”

“No. And I’m not saying ‘no’ in English…

Because ‘no’ is ‘no’ in Spanish too, no?”

“Don’t’ be a smart ass.”

“Sorry. I mean lo siento.”

“Better learn faster because we’re watching you.”

***Earth to Leigh. Snap out of it!***

Phew!

Guess my mind took a little side trip.

So tell me…

Ever have a government agent knock at your door?

And does your mind take you on side trips?

Where do you go?

Always, Em-Musing

DOROTHY?

Setup:        Me and another expat friend having dinner

Location:     A trendy local restaurant…

               at a beautiful marina in Puerto Aventuras

Action:       Me showing photos on my cell phone:

“Look at what wandered up to my front porch.”

“He’s huge. I wonder what he wanted."

"I was cooking bacon. Maybe he wanted some."

"HA!"

"HA!"

"Did you kill him?”

“No. I figure he’ll eat the scorpions.”

“True.”

“And look at this guy who came up to my back patio.”

“Oh he’s beautiful. Wonder what he wanted."

"I hear his favorite snack is tarantulas.”

"HAHA!"

"HAHA!"

"And look at this.”   

Coral or king?”

“Coral. I hear they’re fairly timid.”

“You know Xcaret has anti-venom.”

“Yeah. If I get bit, I’m supposed bring the snake.”

“That’s if you can kill it before it kills you.”

“HAHAHAHAHAHAHA1”

“HAHAHAHAHAHAHA1”

After our fit of hilarity...

It was obvious...

We definitely weren't in Kansas anymore.

And these guys weren't Toto.

So?

Was there ever a time…

When you knew you weren't in Kansas anymore?

Always, Em-Musing

GUEST POST OVER AT MVRWA

Today…

I did a spicy post over at…
The Maumee Valley Romance Writer's Blog.

http://www.mvrwa.net/ 

But the link won't work...

So here is here:

ALL THAI'D UP

I love Thai food…

And here in Mexico…

I finally found most of the ingredients…

To make one of my favorite dishes.

So, the other day…

As I was chopping and sautéing…

I got to thinking about the two different cuisines.

Here in Mexico…

The food is fresh and tasty…

And always there’s a salsa to turn up the heat….

And limes to accentuate the flavor of foods.

And even though your taste buds are doing a cha cha cha…

Not many spices are used.

Thai food, on the other hand…

Performs a tango in my mouth...

Offering sweet, spicy, tangy, and heat…

All in one bite.

And that got me thinking…

About the cuisines of commercial and literary fiction.

Like Mexican food that’s incredibly tasty and satisfying…

But whose flavors don't hang around after swallowing…

Commercial fiction…

Offers many genres that satisfy my reading pleasure…

But I don't dwell on characters or plots …

Once the last page is turned.

Literary fiction, however...

Has the effect of Thai food on me.

Long after the last bite is swallowed…

I’m still savoring the spices that linger on my palate.

So?

What literary cuisine whets your reading appetite?

And how do much spice or heat do you like…

In your mouth?

Or your novels?

Always, Em-Musing

HOW DO I NAME THEE?

While lunching with a friend the other day…

Who happens to hail from Long Island…

As I did before I moved to Ohio…

She was telling me a story…

Throwing out names like Richey, Tony, Ronnie, and Joey.

Ha!

I remember them well.

No, not those guys, the names…

They’re just so New Yorkish.

Having lived in the Midwest for many years though…

I hadn’t heard those names in a long time…

I was hearing names like John, Bob, Bill, and Dan.

Now here in Mexico I hear…

Servio, Enrique, Guillermo, and Romeo…

(gotta love Romeo)

And my favorite—Martin, pronounced Mar-TEEN.

And while I can’t speak or understand Spanish yet…

I do know great names when I hear them.

So? 

What names are regional where you live?

Or in your novels?

Or have you ever made up a name?

Always, Em-Musing

I'M FEELING THE FAT

Here in Mexico…

There are many festivals...

And Lent is no different.

Lent actually begins on Wednesday…

Ash Wednesday for Christians…

But here…

Why wait till Wednesday?

The celebration actually started last Friday...

And continues through today.

In New Orleans it’s Mardi Gras!

Otherwise known as Fat Tuesday…

The time to indulge before fasting.

Here in Mexico, it’s Carnival!

Or ‘carne vale’, meaning farewell meat.

And these celebrations are more family oriented.

The origin of Carnival in Mexico...

Is Roman Catholic, as is Mardi Gras…

But in the Caribbean islands….

Some claim African and Indian influences.

For me?

Growing up Lutheran…

A thumb print of ashes on my forehead.

And giving up candy was all Lent meant.

And the Tuesday before Ash Wednesday? 

Well, was just Tuesday. Nothing more.

Here in Mexico, all of the Caribbean islands…

And many parts of South America…

Tuesday is 'the' biggest party of the year!

What about you?

Celebrating Fat Tuesday or Carnival?

Always, Em-Musing

IT'S GREEK TO ME

It snuck in…

Almost unseen…

But not quite…

Because…

I found it!

The Greek!

Yogurt, that is…

Here in Akumal, Mexico!

Finally!

I’m so excited!

Since moving here a year ago...

I’ve been on the hunt for Greek yogurt…

But nada…

OK, there was one store that caters to gringos…

It was 20 miles away…

And always by the time I got there…

The Greek yogurt was sold out.

And yeah, I’ve have made my own yogurt…

But to make it Greek…

There’s a lot of straining involved…

a.k.a lots of time involved...

Time I don’t want to spend over a cheesecloth.

So there I was the other day…

In the dairy section of Chedraui…

(a big brand supermarket here in Mexico)

When what to my wondering eyes should appear?

But containers of Greek yogurt by Nestle!

I almost did a happy dance right there in the aisles.

Yeah, I know, Nestle isn’t the most authentic brand…

But it is thick…

And has that same creamy, not too sour taste.

And…

It has an expiration date.

Because the other downside of making my own yogurt…

Is I never know when the expiration date is…

So I wind up throwing half of it away…

For fear of getting food poisoning…

From my own food!

So?

Are you a yogurt fan or aficionado?

Or what’s your favorite gringo food…

You wouldn’t want to live without?

Always, Em-Musing

SPUNKY FRIDAY

Other than *emusing* myself with my blog…

(and hopefully you too)

I like to promote other authors and their books…

Today is L. Diane Wolfe...

Blogger at Spunk on a Stick 

 

 And her new book entitled:

 

$14.95 Trade paperback ISBN 978-0-9827139-5-2
$4.99 Ebook ISBN 978-0-9827139-9-0

Purchase at Barnes & Noble, Amazon, Amazon Kindle, Amazon Kindle UK, and Powell’s.

In this era of self-published books…

Her words of wisdom are a welcome tool.

Please check it out.

That’s it for me this Friday…

I’m off to social network.

I love, love, LOve reading other's blogs.

Have a great weekend and...

Doing anything special?

Always, Em-Musing

MONSTERS, EEEK!

I’m getting bolder…

Not such a sissy…

At least now I don’t screech out anymore...

When I kill a spider.

And let me tell you…

Texas ‘bigger’ ain’t got nothing...

On jungle ‘bigger’…

When it comes to spiders.

I’ve learned to scan floors, ceilings, and walls…

When turning on the lights.

I’ve learned to bang my shoes…

Before putting my tootsies in…

And not just for spiders…

But for little scorpions who have a mean sting.

This morning…

As I went to make my coffee…

I saw movement on the floor.

Two monster spiders!

They looked at me…

I glared at them…

I could tell they were calculating where to run…

And I was calculating if I moved fast enough…

I could get two spiders for the price of one stomp…

And then I realized…

I had flip flops on..

The odds of missing one or both of the spiders…

Was 50/50...

The thought of these monsters trickling over my feet?

EEWW!

Or getting spider guts exploding on my feet?

EEWW!

And then they seized the moment...

They made their move…

Each scurrying in a different direction…

The 'ole divide and conquer maneuver.

Smart spiders.

Fine!

Today they live…

But tomorrow morning?

I’ll be stomping ready…

I’ll be wearing my boots.

So?

What’s the biggest thing…

You’ve stomped with your foot?

Always, Em-Musing

P.S. I’ll be calling the pest control today