THE BLAH'S

Blah, blah, blahblahblah…

Blah, blah, blahblahblah…

Do you ever have moments…

Blah, blah, blahblahblah…

Blah, blah, blahblahblah…

When you’re really into a great thought…

Perhaps you just thought of a new character…

Or chapter in your W.I.P…

Or even trying to listen to a song on the radio…

Blah, blah, blahblahblah…

Blah, blah, blahblahblah…

But you’re with someone…

Who is monopolizing your ear space…

Blah, blah, blahblahblah…

Blah, blah, blahblahblah…

With nonsensical blah, blah?

You feign interest…

Even smile, hoping it’s appropriate…

All the while your ears are stressed...

Trying hard not to let in any of their blah, blah…

Dear God, I wish they’d shut up!

If they continue blathering...

I'll lose my idea on this new chapter I’m thinking about.

Blah, blah, blahblahblah…

Blah, blah, blahblahblah…

I don’t even know what they’re saying now…

Did they say something funny?

Laugh. I should laugh.

Oh, no! They’re saying someone died?

Now I must shake my head…

Look sad and make that ‘tch tch' sound.

Blah, blah, blahblahblah…

Blah, blah, blahblahblah…

I swear!

If they don’t shut up, I’ll lose this idea…

Where’s a pen and pad when I need it?

And then they finally shut up and leave…

And any clear thought you had...

Is gone, or hazy at best.

So?

Ever been through this?

Can you tune out the blah blah?

Or are you one of those multi-brainers...

Who can think, listen and talk at the same time?

Always, Em-Musing

HITCHING POST

When speaking…

Most people have one or two words…

That they add into their pattern of speech…

Such as: ‘um’, or ‘and uh’, or 'like'…

And they'll say them over and over and over.

It can be very annoying.
But writers also fall into ‘extra’ word annoyances.

Like me for instance.

An editor once pointed out…

That I use the word ‘so’ so often.

Fine for blogs, but not so in novels.

So, if you’re a writer…

I’m guessing you have a few words or phrases..

That you use over and over and over and over…

Maybe you don’t even see them…

But I bet your readers do/will.

Awhile back…

When I was reading Fifty Shades of Grey

I found the word E.L. James used over and over and over…

The word was ‘hitch’…

As in: my breath hitched.

I mean, really? Who uses that word, hitch?

Once is quite enough…

Even twice or three times.
But ten or more in her novel? C’mon! 
And why didn’t an editor catch this?

And then I became obsessed…

With seeing how often she used it…

And then there are the unusual physical things..

James' characters do…

Like rolling their eyes.

Not just the main character…

But the main character’s mother and her father.

All this rolling of the eyes…

Bothered me enough I couldn’t enjoy the story.

So? (yeah, yeah, I know)

Do you have a word, words, or a phrase…

That you use over an over and over?

What are they?

And do you have your character…

Doing strange things with their body?

Like their heads spinning or eyes rolling?

But more importantly…

How or who helps you find these little buggers?

(and to my English followers-I’m using bugger in the American way)

Always, Em-Musing

MULLING UNDER THE MOON

While the full moon rose on the Caribbean’s horizon…

In all her orange glory…

There I was…

With seven other women from the yoga center…

All dressed in white….

(Except me. I was all floral pink)

On the beach in Akumal.

Some of us held copal incense sticks…

One tapped on a brass bowl…

The sound resonating the sea air around us.

The rest of us gently shook tambourines and  maracas.

We stared into the sky meditating.

But after about ten minutes...

SCREEECH!!!

My mind couldn’t take it any longer.

Why am I staring at the moon?

Yeah, it’s gorgeous…

But come on…

How long can I look and wonder?

And what to I hope to accomplish?

And the mosquitoes are eating me alive!

And now I have to go to the bathroom…

And it’s a long walk back to the car…

And he, he, he, he, he…

What if we all jumped up…

And started howling at the moon?

Bet we’d scare all the other people around us.

Uh oh. Now I’m getting hungry…

Maybe tacos de res tonight? Or pizza?

Or maybe at this hour, just some yogurt and papaya?

And do I even have papaya at home?

And ugh. Now the sand is getting itchy…

And eeek!!

Look at all the crabs around me!

And look at the women all around me

How much longer are they going to sit here...

With their hands folded? Or palms up?

What are they getting out of this that I’m not?

Obviously I’m not enlightened yet.

Finally I realize…

No one is holding me hostage…

I can go home…

 “Sorry ladies, I must leave…

See you next full moon?”

They nod, not looking at me…

They’re still in meditation mode.

As I walked back to my car…

I wonder…

What? Do I have AADD?

Why can’t I hold my thoughts still?

But then…

Why do I even need to hold my thoughts still?

Because as a writer...

Isn’t a busy mind what we writers have?

And for me…

Playing in my mind is way more fun…

Than staring at the moon for over an hour!

So?

Do you meditate?

How long can you sit still?

And would you rather play in your mind?

Or stare at the moon?

Always, Em-Musing

HA HA HARD WORD

Ouch!

I've been smacked with a guilt trip…

And I don’t know why I should feel so guilty.

You see…

I employ a cleaning lady once a week…

So why should I feel guilty that she’s working hard…

While I’m sitting in my office chair laughing?

Do I need to explain that I am a writer…

And part of being a writer…

Is thinking…

And often I laugh at what I’m thinking.

But she looks at me like I’m a slacker.

Hey!

I’m a writer! This is what writers do, OK?

And yes…

Reading other’s blogs and sometimes laughing…

Is working…

It’s called social networking…

A necessity in this business of writing.

And though at times my eyes are closed…

I am not dozing…

I am imagining. That can be hard work.

And OK, OK, OK…

Playing Candy Crush Saga is not working/writing…

I say to her in my head, squinting my eyes…

While hiding my iPhone as she walks by me.

But playing games clears my mind…

So more creative thoughts can enter in.

Jheeze!

Even I don’t know believe that ruse.

But really…

Though my fingers aren’t on my keyboard typing…

I am thinking. Creating. Plotting.

So tell me…

Ever feel guilty that while you're having fun...

During the creative process of writing…

Others have to trudge the drudge?

Always, Em-Musing

MAL-BEWARE

I’m tired of playing…

Whack a pop up on my computer screen.

I need to be a widget…

A gadget…

Or something small enough…

To slip into my computer…

So I can turn into…

Super Computer Warrior!

To defend my Computer Universe!

That way…

When ‘Evil’, in all it’s software disguises…

Invades my personal files…

I can go on the attack!

KAPOWEE!!!!

Take that, you malicious malware!!!

I’ll track you down you Trojan bastard!!!

Worm? Ha! I’ll ‘whack a worm’ ya!

Virus? You’re virtually out of here!!!

And really?

Wouldn’t that be more fun?

Than playing Candy Crush Saga?

Just think…

You could choose or design…

An action hero figure of yourself?

Then when your computer is compromised…

Your computer hero self…

Goes into action.

Your computer screen would become inner active…

You would choose a virtual weapon of your choice…

Then you’d track down all invaders and…

KAPOWEE!!!!

Beat the virtual shit out of them!

And you could even have special glasses…

That would make you think you were in your computer!

What’d ya think?

Would you like to be a... 
Super Computer Warrior!

Who or what would you be?

Always, Em-Musing

WRITE OF PASSAGE

I’m so thankful…

For eyes scans…

And fingerprinting.

Why you may ask?

Because of crazy signatures…

My crazy signature to be exact.

Let me explain…

You see in the last few days…

I had to go to…

Immigration, Hacienda (the federal tax office)…

Telcel, (Mexico’s version of Verizon), and the bank.

I must have signed my name at least fifty times.

Not kidding.

And just so you know about signatures here in Mexico…

You have to sign them exactly the same every time!

“What happens if I don’t,” I once asked my accountant.”

“I don’t know. Just don’t push your luck.”

But I ask you…

Whose signature looks the same every day?

And now I’m afraid…

That if I’m involved in ‘some’ kind of scenario…

Where my signature is being scrutinized…

It would go something like this:

“You say you’re Leigh Caron? We don’t believe you.”

“Why?”

“You have more than a dozen different signatures.”

I look at them. I laugh. (not wise at a government office)

“They look the same to me,” I said.

“In this one,” the stern official is pointing…

“You mixed cursive and printing.”

“Oh, sure did. I might have had too much coffee.”

“And this one was scribbled all over the page.”

“Oh yeah, I remember, I was feeling sick.”

And that one? I think I had a margarita at lunch.

Let’s see, those other ones?

Maybe I was thinking about my manuscript? A new story?”

“That’s it! She’s a fraud! Take her away!!”

“But, but…but!”

So? See what I mean?

If this happens…

All I have to do is tell them, “Scan me, print me”…

Because unlike my signature…

That changes on a whim…

My eyes and fingers are locked in my body.

So?

Ever been eye-scanned? Fingerprinted?

And is your signature 100% the same all the time?

Have a great weekend…

I’ll catch up with you next week…

I’m off to see the flamingoes at Rio Lagartos.

Always, Em-Musing

MAN TROUBLE

Since I’m now a woman ‘alone’…

All of my female friends ask…

“So? Will there be a new man in your life?”

“Well, not now obviously. It’s too soon. Maybe one day.”

And then almost all of my friends say…

“If it was me, at our age, I wouldn’t. Too much trouble.”

Trouble? Yes, men can be a handful…

But I love men and their different take on things.

Like their idea of wall art.

Man:   “Look what I got! A free calendar!”

Me:    “Oh? From the Chinese take out place? Uh huh.”

Man:   “Where should we put it?

Me:    “You mean like put it on a wall?”

           How ‘bout in the garbage

Man:  “I was thinking it would like nice in your office.”

Me:    “Uh, no. I have several calendars already.

         My office? You’re teasing right?!

Man:  “OK, how about in the family room?”

Me:    **staring in disbelief**

Man:   “You know, next to that other picture.”

Me:    “Well, that other picture is worth a lot…

         We got it at a gallery, remember?”

Man:   “But I like this calendar. And it was free!”

Well, the calendar did go up, but in his area…

Where he could admire it all day long.

But remembering that calendar, I wonder…

Is anything that’s free...

No matter how ugly—a prize to guys?

If you’re a guy, Please weigh in.

Ladies? Has your guy ever brought home ugly free stuff?

But truthfully?

If free ugly stuff is the worst a guy brings to a relationship…

I’ll take it.

Always, Em-Musing

WORKING IT...

Besides adding yoga to my life...

To address my hip issue...

I’ve added…

Reiki…

Sound healing…

Magnet therapy…

And chiropractic to the therapies.

Ha, ha, ha!

Take that you sore hip!

And it’s working!

But more than loving that my hip is feeling better…

Is the acceptance…

Of all things...

Holistic, natural, and alternative here in Mexico.

Also, the readily availability of practitioners…

Who most are actually from the States…

Who transplanted themselves here, like I have…

To be in this spiritual place on earth.

I feel that my destiny…

Has always been to live in the tropics…

On the Caribbean…

I just never figured Mexico would be the place.

And wonder of wonders...

All these therapies…

Have loosened up not only my hip…

But my muse.

Between all the therapies…

Getting in tune with nature in my jungle…

And doing some concentrated inner healing…

My muse is replenished….

And I’m writing again. Lots of writing!

So?

Have you ever felt drawn to a place on this earth to live?

Where is it?

And what replenishes your muse?

Always, Em-Musing

GOBBLE DE GOOK

I met a guy a few Fridays ago …

And before the sun set…

He had his way on me!

What a turkey!

Literally!

Let me explain—please!

Rewind earlier in the day…

I was at Lucy’s house…

Lucy is a neighbor of mine…

She has 20 acres in the jungle…

Just across the way from me here in Akumal…

And she has horses.

Kelly, another friend of mine, was there too…

She gives riding lessons to Lucy’s daughter.

Besides horses…

Lucy has hens, roosters, ducks…

And turkeys.

While Lucy was talking to the groom…

And Kelly was giving the lesson…

One fat, jiggly, lumpy blue-headed turkey…

Kept eyeing me.

He’d puff up making all those ‘gobble gobble' noises…

As he inched towards me.

He took his time, but finally he got to my side…

Now, having been around geese and swans…

I wasn’t sure if this turkey…

Wasn’t going to go all ninja on me…

And take flight and attack me.

I sat very still so as not to agitate him.

And then the next thing I know…

He squatted down on my foot and quivered.

“Help!” I yelped, as his claws (hope it was his claws)…

Dug into my foot!

“What is he doing?”

“I don’t know,” Lucy said running over...

I’ve never seen him do this.”

“I think he’s doing the nasty,” Kelly said, cracking up.

“Please get him off! I said.

“Oh I think he just did,” Lucy said cracking up too.

And with that…

The turkey got up and gobble wobbled away.

Well! I never!

I knew there might be a new guy in my life—someday…

But who would have thought he’d be a turkey?

And the reason I was even at the barn?

Actually, there’s a new life on Lucy’s ranch…

This little filly.… 

 

Isn’t she adorable?

So?
Ever been stalked by an animal?
Have a great weekend.

Always, Em-Musing

SEE MExico, HEAR MExico, TASTE MExico

How can I condense one week of touring...

The interior of Mexico…

In one blog post?

I’m not sure I can, but I'll try…

Here goes…

First, I got to hand it to the Spanish…

Who, when they came into (conquered) Mexico...

Constructed absolutely amazing architecture...

Like these churches and cathedrals.

Jaw dropping beauty!

And the gold you see…

Is real gold, not paint.

All cathedrals and churches.

(the only difference being whether a bishop resided there)

Were built in the 15, 16,  & 1700’s...

And there is at least one in even the smallest of towns.

And then there’s Guadalajara…

An historic city…

Yet urban and cosmopolitan.

Besides going to museums, shops and restaurants…

I went to a haunted cemetery…

Ghosts there from the 1800’s.

Even the tomb of a vampire.

And trust me...
Mexicans love tales of the supernatural...
Ever as much, if not more, than Americans.
I also went on a side trip to the ruins of a church...

In the wake of an erupted volcano back in 1943.

Then there was Morelia, capitol of Michoacan…

Where besides more churches and cathedrals...

There was this 1700 year-old building...

Where I sipped coffee and breathed in...
The beauty of that historic city.

There were other side trips like to an island...
A tropical natural park...
A quick jaunt into Mexico City...
And all the little towns and villages in between.
What can I say?

I fell in love with the sites, sounds, and tastes…

Of a Mexico that most Americans will never see…

Or don’t even know exists.

Ever been to Mexico?

Ever want to go?

I guarantee…

You will fall in love.

Always, Em-Musing