B.I.C.

Today’s post is lame…

Because I…

MUST…

KEEP…

BUTT…

IN…

CHAIR…

AND…

WORK…

TO GET…

REQUESTED SUBMISSIONS …

OUT!

Have a great weekend!

Always, Em-Musing

REALM OF BELIEF

Five women…

On a balmy Wednesday evening…

Drinking wine…

Sharing stories…

Of marriage…

Family…

And the supernatural.

All acknowledged having gone to an astrologer…

Four to going to psychics…

Three to seeing “something” dark from another dimension…

Two to being in or conducting séances…

And one to seeing shapeshifters, gremlins, and fairies.

SCREEEEEECH

The last admission is where my belief system stopped.

Of course we asked her what these creatures looked like…

And of course she to us…

But I don’t believe any of us believed her.

But oh, we writers sure like to write about them, don’t we?

I mean, the paranormal and fantasy genres are huge, aren’t they?

And then this woman said…

The scariest thing of all…

“I’ve got an idea for a children’s book, so…

do I just call an agent and tell them my idea?”

BWAH HA HA HA HAAAAAA!

She looked at me like she was seeing a lizard.

I then told her…

She must first write the story.

When I explained the process of getting a book published…

Writing, editing, rewrites, yada, yada, yada…

I think she’d have rather seen the devil himself…

Than to wrestle with the idea of being a published author.

And who can blame her…

Out of 80% of the population who say they want to write…

Only 20% do write…

And out of that only 5% will get published.

EEEEEH!

I just scared myself!

So?

What's your belief system...

About the supernatural...

And writing?

Always, Em-Musing

(please don’t quote me on all the stats

I read them on someone’s blog)

SHIFTING IN THE BIG APPLE

I don’t know if it was the …

Lack of sleep…

Nerves about pitching…

Too much bad hotel coffee…

Being “on” every second for four days…

Or just the sheer excitement of being in NYC at RWA…

But by Friday…

With my butt in the chair…

At the last of the workshops…

I couldn’t sit still.

Thank God the speakers were excellent…

So my brain at least could focus…

It was my body that just wouldn’t sit still.

I fidgeted…

I got itches in places I couldn’t scratch…

Like smack in the middle of my back…

My legs were restless…

Hell, my whole body was restless…

I crossed my legs…

I uncrossed them…

I sat this way…

I sat that way…

Endlessly, I twisted and turned in the chair.

And that’s when I realized…

There was a shapeshifter at the conference…

Me!

I went from being a calm, composed writer…

To a two-year-old on a sugar high needing a nap!

So?

Have you ever shapeshifted?

Or if you were you at RWA...

What were your experiences?

Always, Em-Musing

SHAPE OF THINGS TO COME

Back from RWA Nationals!

Phew!

What a week!

And…

I pitched my little heart out!

And…

I got invites for submissions!

Wooo Hoooooo!

So this week’s blog posts have to take a backseat…

Because my first priority…

Is working on and getting out those submissions.

So…

I’ll post when I can.

But I can tell you that I did wear my new hats.

(just not everyday)

And…

I actually saw shapeshifters at the conference.

More on the shapeshifters tomorrow.

Always, Em-Musing

HATS ON!

Tah TAH!

Here are my new hats.

Yeah, not so different, I know...

But they're new!

And do match better with my outfits.

And did I mention...they're new?

Anyway... 

I'm off. to  RWA in NYC...

Can't say now if I'll post from there...

But if not...

I'll catch up next week.

Oh, and please excuse my informal tank top attire...

Because is me? Or is it hot in here?

Anyway, hope you have a sweat free 4th of July weekend!

Always, Em-Musing

THE GAMES BRAINS PLAY

Last week...

I got hit with a block…

Sort of like writer’s block, but not quite.

I got hit with—Muse block!

It’s seems I had no problem writing…

(because I worked on my W.I.P. last week)

It’s musing for my blog that blocked up my brain.

(hence my “no show” last week)

And besides my muse being blocked in my brain…

My brain is forgetting things!

Like names.

“Oh don’t worry,” I can hear you say…

“Everyone forgets names sometimes.”

 But names of spices?

“Don’t worry,” my psychologist friend in New Hampshire said…

(I was a guest at her house last week)

“Everyone has so much more information in their brains…

that it takes longer to process and find it.”
(OK, phew! It’s normal, not Alzheimer’s)

And she’s right, I am processing more lately…

I’ve been processing practicing pitching for–

RWA National Conference this week…

I’m leaving tomorow!

SQUEEEEEEE!

And good for me…I’ve got my pitch down pat.

Just not good for me ‘cause I don’t have…

An agent or editor session lined up.

But that’s OK, I’ll stand in the corral waiting for a slot and pitch…

SQUEEEEEEE!

I’ve also got my wardrobe picked out and packed…

SQUEEEEEE!

And a new hat.

I mean, I had to get a new hat, didn’t I?

I mean, I have to keep my persona up, don’t I?

SQUEEEEEE!

Well, wish me luck...

SQUEEEEEE!

I’m off to New York City!

(and if I say SQUEEEEEE one more time…

please, someone slap me!)

Always, Em-Musing

P.S. Tomorrow, before I leave, if my brain can remember...

I'm going to post a photo on my blog of my new hat .

Today...
I'm guest blogging over at the MVRWA blog...
Check it out.

http://www.mvrwa.net/2011/06/judge-for-yourself.html

Always, Em-Musing

ADVENTURES IN AISLE 2

“We’re bored!” my two granddaughters whined…

They’re 6 and 8. I babysat them last week.

Bored? I thought not…

More like…

We need electronic stimulation…

And you won’t let us watch TV or use the computer.

“Read a book,” I droned for the umpteenth time.

“We do read. In school. School’s over.”

Ah ha!  I had a plan.

“Get your shoes on, we’re going on an adventure.”

And so I schlepped two excited kids…

To Meijer, a super grocery store.

“Grandma! This isn’t an adventure.”

“Oh, you’ll see.”

And then we were in the aisle with all the books.

“Books? Mommy brings home books all the time.”

“I know.’

“And we’ve read them all.”

“I know.”

“So where’s the adventure?”

“On the back of every book.”

“Instead of mommy picking the books...

You’re going to discover—the story within.”

Though doubtful, the were intrigued.

“I’ll buy each of you one.”

Now they were excited.

I watched them scan the book’s cover art.

The 8-year-old kept going back to Rick Riordan’s books.

The 6-year-old was by Jeff Kinney’s Diary of a Wimpy Kid series.

“Do you want one of those?”

Grandma, I read them all.”

“Get one with Stink!” the 8-year-old squealed.

And so after reading the back cover,

The 6-year-old decided on.this one by Megan McDonald. 

(Hmm? She wasn't influenced by grandma, was she?)

The 8-year-old couldn’t decide on which Riordan book to buy…

Each one’s cover art looked thrilling.

So I read the blurb on the back of at least five to her.

I could see her getting captivating by each. Still she couldn’t decide.

“How about you start with book one in The Kane Chronicles?”

And so I bought her The Red Pyramid.

When we got back to their house…

I didn’t hear from them all afternoon.

At least for me…

I hope their age group doesn’t go all “eBooks”…

I don’t’ think our adventure would have been as much fun if…

“So? Which book do you want to download today?”

What are your thoughts?

Always, Em-Musing

WHAT THE FOK?

Oh boy...

I'm writing this post knowing it'll be controversial...

But here  I go anyway.

I went to dinner last night at Red Robin…

(great burgers, but I prefer to chew in a more quiet setting)

It was my granddaughter’s birthday dinner.

(birthday dinner? I never gave my kids a birthday dinner)

And in true princess mode…

My granddaughter left the restaurant in tears about “something.”

Anyway, before the pouting and theatrics…

I had asked my daughter and her husband…

If they ever heard of Go the FOk—to Sleep by Adam Mansbach.

Well, the conversation got as lively…

As the ten waiters clapping and singing the happy birthday song.

They loved it. (the book not the singing).

Me? Hmm?

Guess ‘cause I’m of a different generation (yes, that means older)...

While I find it funny…

I still find it offensive to me (there…I said it).

Is putting kids to bed challenging?

It can be.

And I know, I raised two kids…

And babysat three grandkids everyday for four years.

And that equals hundreds and hundreds of bed and naptimes.

My take on putting kids to bed is…

There’s nothing new about it…

Except the parenting.

I often hear my daughters tell their kids…

“Eat your dinner, please.”  

Or…

“Clean your room, please.”

Please? Are you kidding? Please?

My parents never said, “please” to me to do anything.

And I never said “please” to my kids.

When was just, “do it” not enough?

While I don’t like this Mansbach book…

(he’s written several other acclaimed books)

I do like this quote from him…

“There’s this culture of preciousness and perfection around parenting so people are a little bit reluctant to admit to some of the frustrations because you’re supposed to be a super parent and not complain,” says Mansbach.

And my comment to that is…

Stop being a super parent…

Just be a parent…

Yes, you’ll have to deal with the angst…

Of hearing your kid whine or cry—a lot!

But just be a firm parent during the day…

And be a firm parent at night.

Because the truth is…

No one said that being a parent was easy.

So stop whining and...

Just the fok do it!

(Yeesh! I don't even like when I write this)

So?

Have you read or heard of Mansbach’s book?

What’s your take?

And when I said this post was going to be controversial...

I meant my take on parenting...not the book.

Always, Em-Musing    

AWB: APARTMENT WITH BENEFITS

4:25 A.M.

My rooster hadn’t even crowed yet...

(the alarm on my Droid is a rooster)

And it’s not like I wanted to…

In fact, I would have preferred not to.

And it’s not like I could have avoided it…

I was still in bed.

The only place to escape…

Was deeper under the covers.

And even there I could still hear it.

And I could have enjoyed it…

After all, many people pay money to hear it.

At first I thought it was an animal.

A cat?

Two cats fighting?

But then–

"Nooo...ohhh..OOOOOOOO!"

Oh?

OH!

Hmm? How strange.

No, not that it happened and I heard it…

Because ever since spring…

Most bedroom windows in the apartment complex are open...

It was the noise of it…

No sexy oooing and ahhhing and panting like in the movies…

Or even the slow build-up to the crescendo…

Like in romance novels.

It was more like a yowling scuffle from a Goodfella scene…

Bada boom, bada bing.

Thank goodness though…

(at least from my perspective)

The cock didn’t crow very long.

So?

Have you ever been an unwitting listener?

To something you shouldn't have heard?

Always, Em-Musing