The last thing I want to do…
In the middle of my day is…
Drop everything I’m doing…
Just to drop my draws at the OB/GYN…
Perch on a table with white paper beneath…
A big sheet of pink paper on top…
And wait…
And wait…
And wait.
Now, I don’t mind waiting…
Ten…
Fifteen…
Twenty minutes…
But my spine starts caving at the thirty minute mark.
And you’d think being my doc is a woman…
She’d understand.
(I wonder how long she has to perch at her doctor’s?)
So there I was—perched and waiting…
Not only sans clothes…
But sans a pad and pen.
All I could do was think…
And that's when I came up with a great idea.
I think doctors who make their patients wait so long…
Should provide some kind of compensation…
In the form of a service …
Like a manicure.
Who wouldn’t be thrilled to have a free manicure?
Or how about a massage?
We’re already naked on a table…
All we’d have to do is flip.
Or how about a fortune teller?
Who wouldn’t want to know their future?
I’d of course ask…
Is my current query letter OK?
Or is it a real stinker?
Will I ever find a literary agent?
And when I do…
Will I still have all my teeth?
What about that three book deal I keep dreaming about?
Yada, yada, yada.
Then…
After all of my literary questions were answered…
I’d ask the most pressing question of all…
No, not how much longer before I see the doc…
But how do I get to the bathroom down the hall…
Dressed like a roll of paper towels?
Always Em-Musing
1 comment:
Funny post, Em! I love waiting around "dressed like a roll of paper towels" too. I'll remember that line the next time I'm at the docs. Thanks!
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