I went again to see Julia & Julie. Again!
Yeah, yeah, I know. I could have seen a movie I haven’t seen yet. But, what can I say? I love that movie. And Meryl Streep. And Julia Child. And Amy Adams.
It would have been a perfect afternoon except for one distraction.
My friend sitting next to me.
I invited her to go with me because she was my only friend who hadn’t already seen the movie.
I hesitated inviting her because she always likes to sit at the highest row in the theater.
The only thing more irritating than sitting in the first row, is sitting in the highest last row.
But thankfully, she had foot surgery.
Not I’m thankful she had foot surgery, but this time she couldn’t climb too many steps. And so we sat mid-level. Perfect.
Except for one thing. The popcorn.
If there's one thing I hate more than sitting stupidly at the movies, it's someone who mooches my popcorn. When I actually break down and buy my popcorn (versus eating something I’ve snuck in my purse), I want to eat all of the popcorn all by myself.
And it especially irritates me when someone mooches my popcorn after I've offered to buy that person their own popcorn.
“I’m getting popcorn. Want some?” I asked my friend.
“Sure? I’ll treat.”
“No, no. I just had lunch.”
And so, after settling in our seats, we began watching what was already on the screen. The movie?
No, fifteen, yes count ‘em fifteen commercials! Why am I paying a premium price for a movie ticket and then have to be subjected to commercials that I see on TV? Not fair! I wanted to throw my popcorn at the screen, but at $5.00 a small bag, I thought the popcorn would be better served in my stomach rather than on the floor.
Anyway, so there I was sitting in the comfy seat, the movie finally starting, the smell of greasy butter wafting up from my small bag, and my hand poised over the bag, when my friend leaned in towards me and said, “Mmm. That smells good.”
I knew it!
She wanted some of my popcorn. If I didn’t make my thoughts clear a few paragraphs back, let me say it right here and now—I HATE SHARING MY POPCORN!
My husband used to pull this same trick on me when I was still living with him and we’d go to the movies.
“Want some popcorn?” I’d ask on my way to the counter to buy a bag.
“No! I don’t want to spend the money on a bag of popcorn. It’s a crime what they charge.”
No, the real crime was him wanting my popcorn after he bitched about it.
Cripes! I thought I got rid of that problem when I got rid of him. But now I have the same problem with my friend. I don’t really want to get rid of a friend over a bag of popcorn.
And that leaves me with a dilemma. What is the protocol for sharing popcorn with a friend who, after I offered to buy them their own, wants some of mine?
I guess just do the right thing and ask, and then hope they’ll be good to their word.
“Would you like some?” I ask my friend.
“Oh, thank you,” she said, her hands cupped for a good-sized portion.
And so I poured and she settled back in her seat.
But no sooner had I eaten a few kernels, relishing each one so my bag would last the entire movie, when she leans in again, hands empty.
Damn it! She wants more?
“Let me go get you a bag,” I offer again.
“No, no. That’s OK. I ate before I came here.”
No, NO! It’s not OK. If you ate before you came here, then you shouldn’t want my popcorn, I want to say to her.
“It just smells so good. Can I have a little bit more?” she laughed.
I'm glad she's happy because I am not amused.
Annoyed, I poured what was left of my popcorn into her hand and vowed that the next time I go to the movie, I’ll: 1) Either go by myself (which won’t be much fun).
2) I’ll eat before going so I won’t be hungry.
3) Learn not to be so stingy, or
4) Stay home and write. And I always love to share what I write.